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In order.

1. My roasted beet, goat cheese, and cranberry salad for lunch. I roasted some beets this morning and walked down the hill to get lettuces for it. But of course, pregnant lady is pregnant and right now I am thoroughly enjoying my chemical laden Cool Ranch Doritos. Serious tasty yuck. I was actually craving the chemicals. Shhh, don't tell anyone.

2. Adam returning from his 2.5 week trip to the US (he doesn't leave til next Thursday). Mostly because I'm exhausted just thinking about taking care of B for that long all by myself. I've been so queasy and tired. I really hope it passes soon. But Adam is also going to bring me back some special loot from the States.

3. I keep forgetting to mention this. Adam, B and I are going to Paris for a week in a November! We'll be spending the Thanksgiving holiday there with Adam's parents. Adam's parents went there last Thanksgiving and totally fell in love with Paris. They don't speak French know anything about art beyond Monet's flowers and definitely know nothing about French food. Such a very very unlikely match! And yet: love. So they are going back. And it only costs £50 round trip per person for us to get there. WIN! I've never been to Paris and I am *so excited*.

4. Having a baby. It still feels quite abstract. And February is a long way off. I'm scared about what this is going to do to my studies. But I'm thrilled to have another child.

5. The Twig is coming to visit me next summer! She and I talked via Skype yesterday and she said she had enough miles for a free trip to the UK. Yay!
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Today I woke up to serious snow and snow still falling. I feel like I 'should' go out run errands: mail thank yous, maybe go to laundrette, buy groceries, take B for a play, all before it gets wet and cold and freezes and our hill becomes impossible to get up or down.

But all I want is a day of recovery. I want to be warm and veg out in silence. Maybe take a long hot bath. Snuggle my kid. Possibly get it on with my husband. Read. Drink tea and wine. Snuggle the cats. You can see where my priorities are.
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Full Metal Alchemist. Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] bravenewcentury!

Pukka herbal teas. I want to try each and every one. We have 5 different kinds currently on hand.

The abundant bird life here. I'm not very good with my birds, but I know I've seen magpies, ravens, swans, hawks (maybe kestrels or kites?), mourning doves, and various other kinds of finches and blackbirds, and other birdies.

The cold clear weather, and the dark.

No answer

Dec. 14th, 2009 10:50 pm
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I've said every day is like a vacation here. Every day is so lazy and free and easy. I don't really have to do anything at any particular time. I get to be with Adam and Bennett as much as I want. It's gorgeous, quiet and safe here. It's downright bucolic. Village time has taken over.

But I'm slipping. I can't seem to answer an email or phone call in a timely fashion. It takes me weeks to file paperwork. I've been working on ONE 20 page paper this entire term. I cannot bring myself to care about the news. I was given a recent copy of the Economist, I flipped through it, and set it aside. I just want to do..... nothing. I want to be slow.

This doesn't feel depressive to me. It feel like an honest to god break. A mental and motivational vacation. I think I'm still recovering from the move - deciding, willing, facilitating, making it happen. And becoming a mother. And being... well, being me. DOING things. All the damn time. Maybe I need a season to be late, lazy, unresponsive, unmotivated, and not have it be because of a mental health problem.

But things do have to get done. In a display of accountability, I present my list of things to take care of tomorrow:
*Attend the holiday party at the Family Centre
*go to the Academic Registry and the Council Office (paper work which is about 8 weeks overdue!)
*read through my paper
*maybe make a hair appointment
*talk to E about babysitting
*talk with Adam about our Plan to De-Mold the House
*maybe think about Christmas cards and stuff
*make curried lentils with spinach and brown rice for dinner
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We decided to break our lease and move. Across the board, from the sane and sober, and everyone in between, we keep hearing horror stories about mold. So we're out. My adviser has mentioned possibly renting her house to us when she moves in January, and tomorrow we look at another professor's house.

If you're the praying type (or your equivalent), please pray for three things.
1) That our landlords will graciously let us out of our lease
2) That we find a wonderful, healthy, less expensive alternative
3) That no lasting damage has been done to our health

Thanks.
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William Fitzsimmons was wonderful. The club was teeny tiny, maybe 50 people. It was HOT and we were all sweating. Things got fragrant. A woman named Jenny Owen Youngs opened and she was good. Fine. A little forgettable. Adam dug her for all the reasons I didn't. She was funny, I'll give her that. In fact, when not playing depressing music about divorce and heartbreak, both the acts had hilarious banter and interacted with the audience. Ok, basically it was Adam and Jenny and William. I am married to That Guy. But it worked. William is one hundred percent my kind of people. He is amazing: present, grounded, disarmingly sincere, funny, self-depricating, smart, articulate, and his beard is quite impressive. Oh yeah, and music is sweetly heartbreaking.

After the show we got to chat with him. He and Adam talked about being nerds. Turns out William loves original Star Trek and Star Wars.

Seeing live music was just I needed. I feel refreshed this morning, even though I only got about 5.5 hours of sleep (thanks Bennett!). I'm really trying not to overwhelm myself with the list of things that need to get done today, while Adam is home (bathe B, begin Day One of the Great Box Sort, laundry, respond to a million emails, prep for the interview tomorrow, fill out the last of my visa paperwork, and of course, parent, play and eat). How to stay present and open, but also get things done? Why do Doing and Being sometimes feel incompatible?
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*Thurs, July 16, 4pm: Give Away, Go Away party. Come for the free stuff, stay for the deep fried turkey! Snuggle the baby one last time and say goodbye to us. Private message me if you want to come and need directions.

*Sat, July 18, Bennett and I catch a flight to San Diego. Adam and his father drive the Uhaul with the cats down to SD.

*July 20: [livejournal.com profile] snowcalla is in San Diego and I might to get see her that week?

*Thurs, July 23: I go to ComiCon with Adam.

*Tues July 28: Bennett and I head to Juneau. We'll be incommunicado out on Shelter Island. Sis arrives Aug. 2.

*Fri, Aug 7: Go to Juneau proper, the Future Governor of Alaska and her babe join us.

*Tues, Aug 11: Back to San Diego.
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I have a little book where I write down all the books I read in a year. I've decided not to take it with me, so I am listing here books read in 2009 to date.

Read more... )

A day off!

Jun. 12th, 2009 10:10 am
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I have until 2.30 today to do my own thing and I think part of tomorrow too. Tomorrow evening I'm going to the opera to see La Traviata. I'm so excited for opera. Ohmygoshsoexcited.

Today I am definitely going for a bike ride, possibly a long walk around Mountainview Cemetery.... hmmm I think I'll meditate there. After that, I'm eating a big ol' cheeseburger.

Tomorrow I may go shopping for a new bra and some pants. And go to yoga.

I thought about going into the city for the Japanese baths, but I do not want to go into the city and deal with public transportation today.

Ok, that's a little over 4 hours today. I'm outta here!

Seattle!

Jun. 4th, 2009 07:22 am
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Leaving for Seattle later this morning. In three hours. We are NOT prepared. Still to do:
shower, bathe the boy, laundry, pack, feed and dress B, wrap a present, any bit of yoga or other such practice.

I'm so excited for a change of scenery and climate! I'm so excited to see Twig. She is like a sister to me. I can't wait to show off lil' B and to see him play with other little boys. And YAY! I get to meet, in the flesh, [livejournal.com profile] imp_of_satan and her boy Henry, and [livejournal.com profile] miss_swamp and [livejournal.com profile] livingdeadpan and their twins, Bobby and Drew. Smooches for all!

Must remember to take the camera.

Off to make lists and finish my tea.

ETA: Most likely I'll be off line until Sunday night.

Sunday

Apr. 19th, 2009 05:42 pm
theatokos: (Default)
What a great day today is. Really. This whole weekend has been great. Making some decisions about my mental health has turned me around. I like it. Today B, Adam and I went to the park nearby to get out. It's in the 80s here - first hot day since fall. We witnessed BMX Critical Mass - 200 males on BMX bikes descending on the park. It was great! And then the Oakland Police showed up. This made me nervous. But everything was fine. No one died.

As I lay on my blanket I decided to make some lists about things I'll miss (and not miss) about leaving the Bay Area.

Here goes )
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Dinner last night )

And today I am quite sick with an awful head cold. The poor housesitter will have to make do with spit-up crusted floors. Disgusting, but true.

******
My 2008 List of Books Read )

Now, to go nap with my boy.
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*I love the winter holidays. Wish it felt more wintery and festive 'round these here parts.

*This nuclear family bullshit is isolating and I hate it. It takes way more than two people to raise one kid. The radical feminist in me is appalled at the binds I find myself in. I think the nuclear family is one of the single greatest myths that patriarchy has perpetuated in modern times.

*Adam and I are considering having B model. I feel conflicted about this. We are constantly getting told that B should be a baby model. We have a friend that used to be a children's agent. Extra money for a savings for B would be wonderful. We hear it's about $60/hr. But.... do I really want to support the advertising and modeling business? It also feels rather exploitative of Bennett, and he cannot offer his consent. It's like getting in bed with the devil. Feedback, please.

*There is so much to do to prepare for our trip. With no child care this week, I will be leaving my job with a lot of loose ends, and there's just not much I can do about that. I'm not sure I care all that much. I feel some guilt about being half-assed, but you know, if I really truly cared I'd find a way to get everything done.

*Off to start dinner while B is asleep. Wish I was asleep.

*Also, I think I am going to try to eliminate sugar from my diet for the duration of my trip. All the holiday sweets are starting to make me feel bad.
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Seems like everyone is posting theirs, so I'll be a follower and do it too!

*Slippers
*comfy jammie bottoms
*yoga mits for hands and feet
*Lush items - no bath tub items though, our bath tub blows
*fun bobby pins for my hair that is growing out
*tickets to 2009 SF Opera
*a mac laptop
*a nice, light, black cardigan (cardigans in general!)


Things that I always like:
wine, foodie restaurants, music, books (my list is enormous)

I will add more as I think of it.

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