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I was going to take the day off the internet but I've only been out of bed for not quite two hours and I already feel defeated. It was a hard night. Very very cold (remember our house has no insulation). B nursed all night long, and squirmed. The water main in the neighborhood froze yesterday so we have to ration the water. Maybe I can take a shower? I only shower every other day, less when it's dry and cold like this, so this morning I really need a shower. If I attempt I know it won't be a warm shower. Ugh. The dishes are piled high in the kitchen. And of course, because of the snow and ice the washing machine repairman hasn't been able to make it out so we have piles of laundry too. Adam received a pay check this morning, which would be great and a huge relief, except he forgot to tell the clients to make the check out to him and not his business. So frustrating. I'm feeling the tickle of a sore throat. And..... Bennett is hitting full on toddler mode. He's discovered 'No' and whinging. Ay yi yi.

In good news (because I really need to perk myself up), B also said Mama last night for the first time. I just about melted. It's also stunningly beautiful here. We have plenty of heat. I made delicious veggie lasagne last night. Tomorrow we are having some new friends over for Adam's amazing cheeseburgers.

No. That didn't help. Still feeling exhausted. It just might be one of those days.

But this picture is incredibly beautiful.
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I'm feeling very down today. Bennett has been on a a three week (2 weeks? time is losing its meaning) massive growth spurt, developmental and physical, and I am run down. So run down that I need to make a doctor's appointment to discuss why my hips to my feet continue to hurt so badly. I ache as badly as right before B was born. My knees will no longer let me bend down and push up with out holding on to something for support. I am also running a very low grade fever.

And, I'm getting depressed about housing prices in the Bay Area. Yesterday's tournament was in a wonderful middle class neighborhood, with yards and flowers and trees. A place where kids were playing outside and I could easily imagine kids trick-or-treating on their own in groups and no one would fear for their saftey. Yes, it was the burbs, but it beats our shitty street hands down.

I'm tired of being allergic to something. Tired of being uninspired to go for walks in my own neighborhood, tired of the transient nature of the area. So I looked at rent prices in other neighborhoods and parts of the Bay Area. Holy crap, I am not paying $1500 for a two bedroom apartment. We pay $1330 for a (very nice) "2 bedroom" (one bedroom with a dining room with doors) on a crappy street. I feel more than a little trapped here. I'm trying hard not to be a victim about this. But for today I am down about it.

To cheer me up, here are pictures that Adam's cousin took of B 2 weeks ago. He is noticably larger now, but I think these are gorgeous.
Cuteness )
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My partner is brilliant. I was stressing about how to entertain B and how to get things done and blah blah blah. "Why not just take care of Bennett all day long? You don't need to do anything else."

Duh. I mean, it's not like I don't take care of Bennett on other days, but today is the one day he and I have alone. I don't go into work, Adam isn't here (he works from home on Fridays). He and I can trade off with B the other days of the week and we can clean the house and do the laundry on the other days. Thursdays are now officially All About Bennett days.

Today he nursed and napped in my lap. He has bathed, had nakey time on the floor, played in his play gym twice, been sung to a lot. We've danced, discussed the bedroom, worked on some baby sign language. He's been read to and played with and snuggled. Now he is passed out in the bedroom from all the fun.

And you know, it's great for me too. I don't have chores or Shoulds looming over my head. It's all about Bennett and bonding and frankly, it feels like a little bit of a holiday.

Some photos from today:

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More photos here

For those who are interested in that sort of thing.


Jul. 16th, 2007 04:29 pm
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Below are the first batch of photos! Be prepared to see the same permutations over and over and over. Also, we were staring into the sun in most of them, so I am a squinty girl. Pics )


Aug. 25th, 2006 03:12 pm
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Enter at your own risk:

Downtown Juneau

I lied

This. Is. Bear. Territory.

I taste good

Where the fam lives

Many of my favorite photos didn't make it. Oh well.
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The Retro Redhead loaned me her digital camera for my trip to Alaska. Such generosity! I had plans to take fabulous photos. Thanks to my current mac problems I couldn't get them all off of the camera and then some didn't seem to make it to host site and then I had to delete a bunch of them. I think I don't have much memory on my ibook and the pictures were the source of my itunes issues. Technology gives me such a headache.

So, let's see if this will work:

Fish Head

Update: Well no wonder I had no memory left! These pictures are HUMONGOUS! No way am I posting a picture of my face.


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October 2010



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