theatokos: (Default)
More photos here

For those who are interested in that sort of thing.

PICTURES

Jul. 16th, 2007 04:29 pm
theatokos: (Default)
Below are the first batch of photos! Be prepared to see the same permutations over and over and over. Also, we were staring into the sun in most of them, so I am a squinty girl. Pics )
theatokos: (Default)
Returned late Wed. night. Miraculously my mac is working and there is internet to be jacked. Thank you to all for your well wishes. The wedding was a week ago today and I could not have asked for better weather. My mum tells me that if we had gotten married today none of the family would have been able to make it off the island - it's been so foggy they can't see the ferries pass in front of the island! They day itself was the perfect mix of sunshine and clouds, breeze and warmth. A limo picked up the wedding party from our respective "getting ready" places and we had time to kill so we stopped by a liquor store and procured two bottles of champagne: one for the ride to the glacier and one for the post-wedding ride to the reception. I highly recommend this to all who are planning a wedding. Takes the edge off and provides room for much laughter. Having a slightly tipsy wedding party is a good thing, in my book.

The reception too was nice. As it turns out I am glad we did not have a band play. Everyone was chatting away and [livejournal.com profile] angrynewcomer's jazz playlist and [livejournal.com profile] miss_ogony's more upbeat selections were just perfect for conversation.

There will be picture soon. Promise.

However, upon my return all the stress has finally caught up with me. I have been ill for a few days. It's nice to be back in California, as this is where my life is and where most of my friends are these days. There is an energy here that gets me amped up for my life. Although, the peace and beauty of South East Alaska feed that still place inside my soul. I miss the myriad shades of grey and green that the ocean and rain forest provide. Still, though, it's nice to count on sunshine every day - especially when one only has a bike for transportation.

++++++++++++
In other news, I have read numerous books inthe last two and half weeks:

*A book on Meher Baba, the title I forget. He is considered the Avatar, a reincarnation of Jesus, Muhammad and other great sages. I enjoyed reading this a lot. Much of what I like about Jesus was present in Meher Baba's own life, words and deeds. Much of what irritates me about Jesus was also present, but I found those things (a dislikeable self-righteousness, a need for unquestioning obedience, calling God 'He,' and a tendency to only teach and assist men. In fact Jesus may have more interactions with women than were noted in this book on Meher Baba.) less acceptable in this day and age.

*Two Jasper Fforde books, The Big Over-Easy and The Well of Lost Plots. Sheer ridiculous bookish silliness. Mind candy for those obsessed with books, especially detective genre fiction.

*An Agatha Christie mystery - something about murder in Iraq, Hercule Poirot, archeology, and bludgeoning.

*Jay McInerney's Bacchus and Me. Fantastic essays on wine. Makes me want to buy a bottle of everything he talks about so I can follow along better. After reading this book I also suspect that I have never had really good champagne. And I am reminded that I know shit about French and Italian wines.

*Eat Pray Love. I found this book Thursday morning at the place where Adam and I had breakfast on our way to get groceries. I need to mail it back to the woman who left it there since it had pay stubs, a pay check and other items in it marking her spot. I devoured this book in less than 24 hrs. It's fantastic. It's a spiritual memoir/travel journal book, but doesn't fall into the generic pretentiousness of most modern memoirs. If you love travel, yoga, Italy, India or Bali, I highly recommend this. [livejournal.com profile] goddessofmercy I'm looking right at you.

+++++++
Lastly, I did not get in. However, I made it past the first cull and I had only once suggestion on my feedback sheet for improvement: more depth. This is easily fixable: more singing. I cannot believe that nothing else was listed. None of the musicianship stuff I feared I'd bungled came up! I am not disappointed at all by this news. The audition was the most successful I've ever had and my schedule is much, much more free this year than it would otherwise be. And there's always next year. After more singing.
theatokos: (Default)
It's wonderful and amazing to be here with the people I love. I am underslept - just can't sleep long enough. All wound up. The myriad shades of grey and green soothe me. Can't muster up eloquence. Doing a lot of breathing. Yoga saves me every morning. Headed to the wedding rehearsal in half an hour. Feel a little overwhelmed.

However, I had two hours by myself (sorta) yesterday. I got a manicure and pedicure and it was such a good choice. You know you're in Alaska when the spa has, in addition to the ladies magazines and gossip rags, American Hunter in the magazine rack.

I get married tomorrow.

Holy shit.
theatokos: (Default)
The days are flying. Life is moving at a brisk clip. Wedding stuff continues to move forward and I am doing my best to stick to my guns about what Adam and I want and not do things "just because they are done that way." It's all very exciting.

I occasionally struggle with the whole idea of getting married and having a wedding at all. One one hand, I love ritual, I love parties and gatherings of all my favorite people, I love commitment. I also love Adam and the legal aspect was very important to him (realistically, should we ever have kids, it's also a good idea). On the other hand, the legal institution of marriage is problematic from a feminist point of view and the wedding ceremony is certainly not feminist at all (historically and globally marriage has been and is down right slavery for women, but I am not in that position at all, thankfully). I have insisted that no bride/groom or wife/husband language be used. I will not be given away. Etc. No language about covenants or spiritual mandates or obedience or whatnot will be employed either, thankfully Adam advocated these things.

But still. Weddings, heterosexuality, patriarchy. It's all linked. And were I better blogger (does this LJ thing really even count as a blog?) and a better writer and more focused I might be able to write as critically on the issue as Twisty Faster does or the fine writers at Feministe do. One day I shall have a computer and internet at home like the other inhabitants of the 21st century and I won't be compelled to squeeze my ideas in between phone calls and bills and patrons as I do at work.

Also, the contacts quest continues and my mother arrives tonight for 5 days. Yay Mum! I am looking forward to it.
theatokos: (Default)
I am feeling a little blue. A little post-Alaska let down. My time in Anchorage was downright fantastic. I actually cried my way through security. And waiting to board. And as we took off. One would think that leaving Alaska would get easier, seeing as how I've done it too many times to count. But it doesn't. It just gets harder. And Anchorage isn't even my home.

Now that I'm back in the Bay Area my weird allergies are at it again and I just don't want to do anything I have to. I'm mad because people are inviting themselves to my wedding. Or asking me to invite them. I'm having a hard time saying no. I'm also fighting the absurd idea that I should lose some pounds before the wedding. You know, so I will be THE MOST BEAUTIFUL I CAN POSSIBLY BE FOR MY PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS DAY OF ALL DAYS. It's utter crap and I know it, yet it doesn't stop the brain from going "ooh, you will hate yourself in the photos if you think you look puffy."

Bah.

However, I am making brisket for dinner tonight with meat from my Uber-foodie meat CSA "box." It's a total Slow Food, organic, sustainable, clean, ethical, etc etc slab o' meat. I have never cooked brisket before and don't even own a meat thermometer so we're flying by the seat of our pants tonight people.

Also, I am so nice that I am agreeing to meet a woman for an interview at a cafe near my house tomorrow. On Saturday. Because she's leaving on a trip next week. Job hunting sucks ass and I have pity for her. Plus, she's eager and I really want a good assistant. It's already a good sign that she will go out of her way for the interview.

Anchorage

Jun. 2nd, 2007 11:22 am
theatokos: (Default)
It's much prettier here when everything is green. March made this place look downright dismal. It's light even at 1am. Flying up here, it was dark when we left Seattle at 10pm. As we flew north the horizon kept getting brighter and lighter, like a sunset in reverse.

Hangin' with the fam is great. My nieces are really fabulous girls. My brother-in-law even said he hoped I could rub off on the eldest as she is a little timid and easily swayed. Sa-weet! Let the corruption begin! I think the first act of subversion was wandering into a Hot Topic store (they had Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends merch- total impulse buy). She picked out a skull and crossbones headband, but said ick to all of the clothes. Phew.

Also yesterday: saw a moose munching by the side of the highway.

The wedding is this evening and I'm very excited. The Future Gov's intended is such a wonderful guy, his family is so welcoming, and both he and Future Gov positively glowed at the rehearsal yesterday.

Alaska

May. 31st, 2007 09:10 am
theatokos: (Default)
I am leaving for Alaska this afternoon. A four day trip to Anchorage for the Future Governor of Alaska's wedding. Seeing as how she is marrying the Democratic Party Chair for Alaska I anticipate it to be a political elbow rubbing event. The only politics I'm really following these days is the 2008 nominee races. It's hard not to, with 200 different candidates and possible candidates running - and that's just for the Republicans! I exaggerate, but even Jon Stewart calls this "Cluster F*%# to the White House". Ha!

Right. Alaska. Weddings. Adam and I are staying with my sister and her family. I cannot wait to frolic with my nieces. Bring on the happy squeals of little girls!
theatokos: (Default)
I am thoroughly distracted with planning my wedding. T minus 6 weeks 'til I leave for Juneau and 7 weeks 'til the big day. Planning a wedding in another state is stressful. Thinking about the credit card debt (and this is no big white industry wedding either) is also stressful. So is trying to figure out how to get a student loan for a foreign school in the next 6 weeks.

In the meantime, Adam and I are doing some traveling. This weekend we are going to Seattle, where Adam shall visit the Pacific North West for the first time. On the schedule are such architectural marvels as the EMP and the Seattle Public Library. Also, the underground tour, which I've never done, a hike somewhere, a BBQ, and my favorite Capitol Hill places. Can't wait for the green, the trees, the North West feel, and even a face or two from Alaska.
theatokos: (Default)
Yeah, so I figured out how to make icons on my own. I don't know how good they are, but y'all can check them out and see what you think. My pride won't be too wounded if you don't like them. Adam hates Rie Munoz by the way, so I expect some snarky comments at some point. Poor guy has two of her paintings hanging in our apartment.

Things I am excited about this week:
1: I can do Pincha Mayurasana (with a wall) all by myself! I feel like I'm seven - look what I can do! I'm really excited about this. I've been working on this pose for a couple of months, but for the last three weeks I've been able to do it. Last night at yoga, the whole class was centered around this pose. I went up three times all by myself.

2: [livejournal.com profile] hrafntinna is here for a visit! Yay! Her plane from the mid-west arrived several hours late last night. She got to my door, courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] alizarin71, at a quarter to 4 in the morning. L-a-m-e. But she's here! And I'm functioning. She gave me Gling-Glo, a CD of Bjork singing jazz in Icelandic. Awesome.

3: I get to marry Adam and my Aunt Jenny and Uncle Ian from Australia are probably coming over for it.

4: It's Friday. Tonight is a Halloween party. The weather here is absurdly perfect.

Take 2

Jul. 10th, 2006 10:18 am
theatokos: (Default)
I have only two interesting things going on in my life. (Not counting getting ready to go to Alaska. That greatly interests me, but won't be very interesting to anyone else until I actually get there and can tell you about trees and bears and fish, etc.)

The first is, I am conducting my first ever interview in about 45 minutes. I have a cold and feel maxxed out just from my bike commute. I'm not sure if this will work to my advantage or not. My first impression tends to be very confident, appear as though I know exactly what I'm doing, be outgoing and cheerful, and occasionally intimidating. Everything I'd like to project as an interviewer. I wonder if being run down will make me seem insecure or severe. But, who cares what potential employee thinks? I'm the one in charge! Whee!

The second, and more fun and important, bit of news is that Adam and I have decided to get married. Again. We've decided on next June or July. Details are yet undiscussed, as I'm getting ready to leave and he's looking for a job. Nonetheless, I'm very much looking forward to spending my life this guy. Not that the wedding makes that more of a reality than it was last week, but I like ritual and a wedding will be nice. Plus, it's always a joy to have all your loved ones in one place for a fancy party.

Update The interview went well. A little boring and routine, not like the one I had when I applied here. Sassy Israeli Supervisor was amazing at that stuff. When she interviewed me it took an hour - which she considered on the short side. Mine took half an hour. Unfortunately, he won't be able to be hired. After double checking some of his references, it turns out he's worked mainly for porn studios (not as talent). Not that I care, but unfortunately our aging board will. I got a hearty laugh out of it. Tomorrow's interviewee is, I'm 75% sure, a transexual, MTF. That's much more doable for our board. I think. Can I pick 'em or what?
theatokos: (Default)
"You're not pursuing your passions." He said.

He's right. I live no where near earth and trees and nature, although I remind myself every few weeks that She exists below the concrete and that weeds are nature too. He's right. I am not in a PhD program, but he doesn't hear the thoughts I have in free moments, blips of theology in the middle of spread sheets, quiet moments, bus rides, empty windows. I have a love/hate relationship with music and my voice. I don't read as much as I'd like - I'm still figuring out how to order my days now that I'm back in the world of full time work.

I have struggled to meet every obstacle this year, and I have succeeded. I wrote my master's thesis, graduated with my MA, dealt with housing and employment, planned a wedding. I coordinate an artist's group for which I have plans and visions, but I find that every time space arrives in my life to focus on it, or something outside of sheer emotional survival, something else comes up. Like these days.

He's also wrong. I was pursuing my passion. Relationship, possibility of futures, the application of a theology of relationship. How can I do that when he has called off the wedding? Where do we go from here? And more importantly, how do I not repeat past mistakes? How do I love fiercely, but not become subsumed? How do I maintain boundaries without becoming hard? How do I keep the bitterness and giant hairy snaggle-toothed What-Ifs from eating me alive?
theatokos: (Default)
Relationships seem to be theme of converstaion these days. Adam and I are preparing for our wedding in 5 or so weeks. I am patching up a long lost relationship and learning about the last two years of her life, years which involve divorce, heartbreak, and healing. Yesterday the Retro Redhead discovered her big crush is much older than she thought and he too has been married and divorced. For a brief moment this morning I thought maybe everyone should get married and divorced at least once. There is a wisdom and a battle scar that comes from it that I would have mocked 10 years ago, but bear with me daily now, almost like a sign of my coming of age. When I was younger I was ashamed of being divorced, embarrassed because I screwed up, failed. Of course, I was so young that none of my other friends were married and I had nothing to compare it to. Now though, while not exactly proud of getting married while so incredibly naive, I have much more compassion for myself and for others. I was young! I don't wish divorce on anyone. My hope for people is that they find a relationship in which they can do their life's work, really struggle and grow and love together. And of course have some great sex. But sometimes it's only in the reality of marriage that one finds the limits and boundaries of that work. I certainly didn't know what was of the utmost importance to me, what actually worked- or didn't - when I tried to love and be loved. Earlier this week at a dinner with two of my oldest girl friends, one suggested that no one should get married before they're 30. For a successful marriage, maybe. Me, I am happy that I was married so young. I am now in the full swing of 30 and know how to make my upcoming marriage last. There are bound to be pitfalls and crises that I cannot forsee, but I know how to fight and love and be loved in ways that I couldn't ever have imagined in my early twenties. I also know that I am strong and resilient in ways I never would have discovered. Maybe everyone should have a great big supernova love when they're young so they can have a true lasting love when they hit their stride.
theatokos: (Default)
*To Catch a Theif is not Alfred Hitchcock's best film. In fact, it was pretty disappointing for a Hitchcock film. And Grace Kelly..... eh.

*The Mission district is ugly, as is most of San Francisco in my opinion. It's an interesting city and I really like the architecture, and the Symphony, but as a whole it's not my favorite city. There aren't any trees - and don't anyone (Adam.....) try and tell me that they have a huge park. One park doesn't count. It's just the wide concrete streets stretch for miles and unless you have a keen eye for the shift in character of store signs it is easy to confuse one section for the next. I will give it credit for being much much more diverse than either Seattle or Portland, but.... give me the East Bay over the City any day. I'll just BART in for the Mexican food and high art.

*My sister told me that she couldn't miss any school next fall. Unless I decide to get married in the summer, which works much better for her, she won't be able to come. She can't miss two days of class? I understand it's nursing school and she'll be doing rotation stuff, but it ain't med school. She can't miss one day? Nope.

*Lately I've been thinking that the amount of light is just starting to get bearable and now it's moving back to *more* light. I think more than the rain, more than the cold, I miss the light/dark dance that happens in the north.

*[livejournal.com profile] epymetheus got a free ipod. That's right. I'll let him tell you all about it.
theatokos: (Default)
I am crushed out and blissed out and really fuckin' happy with the people in my life these days. The Icelandic scholar, the retro redhead, and the non-gendered justic worker make me happy every time we get together, which lately has been almost daily. I always wanted a loose but tight little circle of friends. It is wonderful to have vibrant independent women and non-gendered folk in my life.

And the men around here also warm my heart. Last year it was a rather juvenile frustrating affair. This year, there is a welcoming enthusiastic circle of men that get together and throw theme parties and host poker nights. The congregate in the quad and give hugs. And bonus points for them, they welcome Adam into the fold. They ask after him and invite him individually of me. This is how community ought to feel, I think.

Male or female, the support for our engagement has been beautiful. His family is really excited. His mother called and left an adorable message welcoming me into the family. I hope my parents don't crush my heart with their ambivalence. They still don't know. I'm not quite sure when they return to civilization. 8 years ago, the last time I was engaged, I don't remember this kind of enthusiasm or warmth. And for good reason, I just wish someone would have said "You two would be better off as friends." But I guess that was for me to realize. This time feels like the way it ought to have been.
theatokos: (Default)
I am so exhausted, so physically tired I think I will get sick this weekend. But on the inside I am great. Here's why:

Monday night: [livejournal.com profile] epymetheus and I, after an uncomfortable week, nearly broke up, but in the end, after much talking and my promise to sing to him everyday, he proposed and I said yes. The story is more complicated and he tells it better. I realize I have the worst memory ever when it comes to emotional moments.

Tues: My friend Anna from Juneau came for a visit. She is on her way to Nepal and India to go on a Buddhist pilgrimage with her father. Way cool. We discovered a great place to get pho. I am happy because I LOVE soup and now I know where to get some nearby. That night the two of us and [livejournal.com profile] epymetheus/Adam went to see "The Incredibles", which was, yes, incredible. The animation was amazing. I tend not to like a lot of digital animation stuff. Shrek creeps me out. CGI stuff created some kind of cognitive dissonance that I find disturbing. Pixar rocks my socks. Plus, the movie is "set" although loosely, on the Bay Area. It was neat to recognize the streets on the map in the opening car chase and a few other places.

Wed: Went shopping. Wrote a story for class about Mary going to Planned Parenthood. That night Anna, Emily, and I went to the Starry Plough, groovy Irish pub here, for the poetry slam. Adam performed, his first time ever. He did a really good job for his first time ever. His poem was excellent. He scored in the middle. He was far from the top, but much better than even some people who seem to do this regularly. I got to be a judge (randomly selected). It was SO challenging focusing all night long, not letting the Negro Modelo's get the best of me, and attempting to remain consistent. I was blown away at some of the talent there. That was some hot shit.

Thurs: Anna left. Class. Called my sister to tell her about the engagement. That was stressful because I never know how my family is going to react. Often their ambivalence is devastating. But this time, my sister was happy for me. Then, there was Feast Bay, which makes me uber happy.

Today: Music and death class where we're listening to Verdi's and Berlioz's requiems. Women's dinner at Angela's and the Celtic themed party at school.

Okay. Now I'm done.

Profile

theatokos: (Default)
theatokos

October 2010

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated May. 28th, 2017 06:36 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios