wow, ewig, this is big stuff. it sounds like you've reached a place of peace and understanding between your heart and your head about what you want christianity to mean to you. it's weird because my first thought was that i'd love to discuss this with you, but i don't know that i have any questions. you were clear and true when you wrote this and it all makes sense to me. i just offer my ears if you would ever like to speak to me about this or anything else.

i leave you with a quote that seems apropos to me right now: "learn the art of taking your stand on the Truth within. when you live in this Truth, the result is the fusion of the mind and the heart and end of all fears and sorrow." i'll give you one guess about who said this.*g*