Women do this because they want to feel in control. The logic is that if rape happens when a woman does X, then if they themselves don't do X, they will never be raped.

This culture assumes that the default condition of women is consenting: if we don't explicitly change it by verbalizing a NO, then people have the right to stick things into us. Imagine if men's bodily integrity were understood the same way:

"Well, Your Honor, he didn't SAY he didn't want me to shove my boot up his ass, so I figured it was okay."


And I'm so sorry. Too many of us have been there.