Agreed, except I prefer the term and concept kyriarchy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyriarchy) to "patriarchy."
I was thinking while writing my last comment that rape is a form of male-on-female gender role enforcement (aimed at "sluts"), but I'm not so sure. Maybe that's a myth of the kyriarchy, part of the "only bad girls get raped" myth. Women get raped and their consent ignored whether or not they gender-conform, whether they walk alone down dark alleys or not. Marital or partner rape happens a LOT, just like date rape. I consider my experience partner rape or attempted partner rape, because the perpetrator was someone I trusted and had had sex with before. Then again, in my case I'm sure someone would have blamed and slut-shamed me for my previous sexual behavior with my ex. Because once you say yes to sex once, you don't get to change your mind later...
I just wish consent and communication was more central to mainstream discourse about sexuality, the way it is in the kink community. I think learning to negotiate a sexual encounter--vanilla or not--should be a required part of sex education! Beyond the safety concerns, it just makes sex so much better.
no subject
I was thinking while writing my last comment that rape is a form of male-on-female gender role enforcement (aimed at "sluts"), but I'm not so sure. Maybe that's a myth of the kyriarchy, part of the "only bad girls get raped" myth. Women get raped and their consent ignored whether or not they gender-conform, whether they walk alone down dark alleys or not. Marital or partner rape happens a LOT, just like date rape. I consider my experience partner rape or attempted partner rape, because the perpetrator was someone I trusted and had had sex with before. Then again, in my case I'm sure someone would have blamed and slut-shamed me for my previous sexual behavior with my ex. Because once you say yes to sex once, you don't get to change your mind later...
I just wish consent and communication was more central to mainstream discourse about sexuality, the way it is in the kink community. I think learning to negotiate a sexual encounter--vanilla or not--should be a required part of sex education! Beyond the safety concerns, it just makes sex so much better.