My objection to the "what about the men" in such a context is that it derails a conversation that needs to happen and all too often is shut down by men as speakers or subjects.

Yes, I can understand that and it's a problematic issue. Though while there are times and places that NEED TO BE "women only", I think there are men who are willing to give women and their needs more space, who are willing to be true allies and who in my pov shouldn't be excluded from process nor thinking. That's all I'm saying.