I took Women's Studies 101 when Pirate was 8 months old. That class was hell and the only way I got through it was because I had ladyartemisa as an out-of-class discussion partner. I'm also taking a gender studies class right now - my Monday night class - and it's gender studies taught from an alternate perspective, taking into account sex differences. I'd be happy to list the texts we're referencing, if you want, in the interest of sharing knowledge. The one chapter we've had on abortion has not come down squarely on any one side but emphasized the objective sharing of knowledge and psychological effects of PASS, etc.
Let me repeat that: HATING THE PATRIARCHY IS NOT HATING MEN. There. Just so's we're clear.
I know. :) I just know that some individuals see the family structure as caving to the patriarchy, and I wanted to make sure THAT was not the point.
And of course incomes are higher with men - women continue to make 70 cents for every dollar a man makes! STILL.
And THAT is something with which I COMPLETELY disagree. Although I would be curious to learn what the statistical basis for that is (in a way that won't make my mind explode - I'm NOT a fan of numbers). I mean, logically, I'd think that if you work in retail, you'll make the same in the same position regardless of your gender. Even doctors - how do they differentiate billing between a male doctor and a female doctor within the same practice, with the same level of experience?
Also, men don't have the "mommy tax" that mothers have. S has been able to work and go to school full time and do all of that, while I've had to juggle my education, work, and childcare.
This is where I think the nuclear family is a lie and a myth. Extended families help provide the attention, care and consistency that parents alone can't always provide.
One of the texts just addressed that - that the nuclear family is a gateway to the extended family. I mean, S's family is AMAZED that they have access to Pirate. Redneck MIL* knows so many people from work who have grandkids that they don't see because it's the son's kid with his girlfriend, and the son and the girlfriend don't get along, and the girlfriend would rather raise the child on her own. I mean, even my godmother (who married a man with two biological children after he and his VERY abusive wife divorced - when my godmother first saw the kids, they were scratched up and bruised - and she's the nighttime head of the local ER) doesn't get to see one of her granddaughters. She has two, both from her stepson, who has never been married and has been in and out of jail for as long as I can remember. The elder just turned 12, the younger is 2. Two different women. She's had custody of the elder since SHE was 2. Marriage creates a bond that is not as easily dissolved as a dating relationship. Our family is lucky - Pirate's family is interested in him, and I have an interest in encouraging and fostering their relationship, because that's the kind of person and mother that I am. But many aren't like that.
*For anyone reading along, Pirate's dad and I were engaged. Pirate's paternal grandmother is from Kentucky, and I've always referred to her as "Redneck MIL" even after Pirate's father (S) ended things with me.
"The earning potential and standard of living drastically increase with marriage and the family flourishes within the environment of commitment and idea of permanence." But what about marriages where there isn't an environment of commitment? Or even of respect? I have known too many women who wait around in marriages where they are treated poorly - should they stick it out for the kids' sake? Hell no. All they are teaching their kids is that is ok for women to be treated with disrespect, that it's fine to miserable.
no subject
Let me repeat that: HATING THE PATRIARCHY IS NOT HATING MEN. There. Just so's we're clear.
I know. :) I just know that some individuals see the family structure as caving to the patriarchy, and I wanted to make sure THAT was not the point.
And of course incomes are higher with men - women continue to make 70 cents for every dollar a man makes! STILL.
And THAT is something with which I COMPLETELY disagree. Although I would be curious to learn what the statistical basis for that is (in a way that won't make my mind explode - I'm NOT a fan of numbers). I mean, logically, I'd think that if you work in retail, you'll make the same in the same position regardless of your gender. Even doctors - how do they differentiate billing between a male doctor and a female doctor within the same practice, with the same level of experience?
Also, men don't have the "mommy tax" that mothers have. S has been able to work and go to school full time and do all of that, while I've had to juggle my education, work, and childcare.
This is where I think the nuclear family is a lie and a myth. Extended families help provide the attention, care and consistency that parents alone can't always provide.
One of the texts just addressed that - that the nuclear family is a gateway to the extended family. I mean, S's family is AMAZED that they have access to Pirate. Redneck MIL* knows so many people from work who have grandkids that they don't see because it's the son's kid with his girlfriend, and the son and the girlfriend don't get along, and the girlfriend would rather raise the child on her own. I mean, even my godmother (who married a man with two biological children after he and his VERY abusive wife divorced - when my godmother first saw the kids, they were scratched up and bruised - and she's the nighttime head of the local ER) doesn't get to see one of her granddaughters. She has two, both from her stepson, who has never been married and has been in and out of jail for as long as I can remember. The elder just turned 12, the younger is 2. Two different women. She's had custody of the elder since SHE was 2. Marriage creates a bond that is not as easily dissolved as a dating relationship. Our family is lucky - Pirate's family is interested in him, and I have an interest in encouraging and fostering their relationship, because that's the kind of person and mother that I am. But many aren't like that.
*For anyone reading along, Pirate's dad and I were engaged. Pirate's paternal grandmother is from Kentucky, and I've always referred to her as "Redneck MIL" even after Pirate's father (S) ended things with me.
"The earning potential and standard of living drastically increase with marriage and the family flourishes within the environment of commitment and idea of permanence." But what about marriages where there isn't an environment of commitment? Or even of respect? I have known too many women who wait around in marriages where they are treated poorly - should they stick it out for the kids' sake? Hell no. All they are teaching their kids is that is ok for women to be treated with disrespect, that it's fine to miserable.