My audition

[theatokos]

I auditioned today. I'm feeling better - my anxiety meds definitely help and I should have taken them yesterday.

I have many many thoughts on this audition. The first is, it is seriously time to retire my piece. To be frank and honest, I was spotty. It's just not in the best part of my range anymore. Even with some serious warm up. Throw in some nerves and an accompanist that wasn't the best ever and well... it was spotty, to be kind. But, the higher I go the more open and full and delicious it sounded. Good personal feedback for myself.

Dancing-wise I did just fine. I looked confident.

The company, Opera Frontier, is a seriously much more sophisticated venture than the website, the craigslist ad OR the woman running it let on. I have emailed the woman several times. The craigslist ad asked for an attached resume when writing; since I haven't put a resume together in 6 years I just wrote it all out for her. Then, when she confirmed my audition, I asked if there was anything I needed to know or prepare for the audition other than bring sheet music for the accompanist and wear clothes to move in, she said that was fine. Ha! I get there and she asks if I have a resume, and after my song she asks if I have a second piece prepared. ??? Lady, if you wanted that, you had many opportunities to tell me. Plus, she led the dance audition and my opinion is that she knows what she wants but isn't clear on explaining. She talked us through the routine in detail and then asked if we were ready - except WE, the auditioners, had not danced it through once.

The space was nice and she was very thoughtful about having tea and water available for auditioners. She also had some literature about the company she's founding - but it was all information that would have been very helpful to have posted on the webpage or to send to auditioners. Things like her vision for the company with examples of rep and style, her background, etc.

When I got done with my audition, I noticed the people waiting to audition after me had fucking head shots and shit.

So..... I don't know about this company. On one hand, there will be legitimate choreography and financial backing and solid musicality. On the other hand, the leader of the group obviously isn't so good at communicating her expectations or vision. I'm not sure I want to suffer through that. But I don't even know if I'll get in.

Comments

[glitter-ness.livejournal.com]

I just love the kind of things you see in chemistry. It's amazing what happens in many reactions. Blah I'm a nerd =P

I'm glad your audition seemed to go okay. So singing and dancing is what you do for a living? I hope you're feeling better than from last night.
xxxx

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

No need to be shy about being a nerd 'round these parts! Geeks, nerds and dorks are welcome here!

I am feeling better, thanks.

Actually, I don't make my living singing and dancing. I get paid to be the director of administration and human resources for a tiny jewish adult education non-profit. However, my main interest, both personally and to pursue professionally, is religious studies and women's spirituality. I'm not sure what form that will take, but that's what I'm aiming for. I'm also thinking of getting certified to teach yoga. I really enjoy it and it's something that I can do anywhere for some extra money. I also believe that yoga is a great anit-dote/companion to the pressures of life and body-image that many women face.

Singing is just something I enjoy doing. Perhaps if I had taken a different bend in the road 5 or 6 years ago I would be making a living from it, but.... here I am. Although, I would love to find a indie band to sing with. That would be great fun! But opera is also a joy to sing - really powerful and delicate at the same time.

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

the really great is that you went, that you pushed through all the anxiety and uncertainty and went anyway. the way you described your feelings before the audition, i've felt that way so many times and yet all i could do was make myself go. it was it's own little victory.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Thanks. My moods around auditions are usually all over the map. I've been struggling so much with judgement lately. But it did feel good to audition, even if it wasn't my best. I now think that auditioning period is it's own challenge - regardless of the outcome.

And I didn't get in. I am not surprised, given my audition, but upon further thought, I'm not too sad. I think it is going to turn out to be a really good company, but I don't want to work under someone who can't organize. Which basically means my future in the arts is shot!

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

I now think that auditioning period is it's own challenge - regardless of the outcome.

absolutely. 5 years in l.a. has definitely taught me that.

And I didn't get in. I am not surprised, given my audition, but upon further thought, I'm not too sad. I think it is going to turn out to be a really good company, but I don't want to work under someone who can't organize. Which basically means my future in the arts is shot!

there are organized artistic groups, but they generally aren't ruthlessly organized, or they have a separate person who just keeps things together. when it's a tiny, new group with only one person running everything...then it's generally more up in the air.

Artistic hard ass

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Actually, I would love to talk with you and your man about this sometime over drinks. Why is that so so many people in positions of leadership in the arts (ie, directors of all stripes and media) seem to have very little ability to communicate effectively and/or to organize??

As someone who has lead/directed singers and gets paid to organize, I know this is not impossible. My skills make me increasingly reluctant to waste my time with groups that can't respect my time or intelligence.

Re: Artistic hard ass

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

Actually, I would love to talk with you and your man about this sometime over drinks. Why is that so so many people in positions of leadership in the arts (ie, directors of all stripes and media) seem to have very little ability to communicate effectively and/or to organize??

i'm sure it would make a fun and lively conversation over some vino, next time we all get a chance we should definitely chat about this.