Gun play

[theatokos]

This is a post for all those born male and for mothers of males.

If you are a male, did you play with guns? Did you turn non-gun items into imaginary guns? Do you think this is something innate in males? If not, where did you learn this behaviour from? As an adult male now do you have any parenting perspectives on this, or advice for the new mama of a male?

For mothers of males, do your sons play with guns or have gun play? If so, at what age did this start? Does this bother you? If so, how do you discourage this? Any thoughts for a new mama?

Comments

[chiv.livejournal.com]

Cartoons. Specifically Transformers, Thundercats and Ulyssees 31.

I was frankly more likely to turn a broom handle into a quarterstaff than I was a to make a gun and at least with toy/pretend guns you're unlikely to [accidentally] brain your best friend.

Not being a parent I have to be very careful about what I say here and it's one of the reasons I don't post to these topics very often.

However a word of warning be careful just how much your fear of guns and violencse ostracises him from his friends and peers. I have no doubt that he will be aware that guns are bad and violence is bad bt will still want to get mixed up in make believe games of heroes and villains of whatever genre.
I have a big problem with any parent who will see their kids acting out pretend fights and immediately wading into the fray and pulling their kid out of it. I was a frequent victim of that, my mum or dad puling me out of a game when they thought it was getting too involved. It got to the point where I just didn't bother getting into these games as inevitably I'd get into trouble be it immediately or after school when my brother had grassed me up. It led to a lot of lonely recesses and a lot of bullying which in turn, I'm sure, led me to becoming more violent when I actually decided to fight back against the bullies.

[thekitchenvixen.livejournal.com]

From Zack:

Yes I played Squirt Guns, Nerf Guns, and eventually BB Guns around age 14. I did turn non-gun items into imaginary guns (such as sticks, paper guns, etc). It is probably not something that is innate in males. I probably learned the behavior from the media, tv, toys, movies, videogames. I don't really have any advice on it.

From Me:

As for Indra and Niyama I will not forbid things that resemble guns (squirt guns or nerf guns) However, BB Guns can actually hurt people so they will not be allowed. As well as pretend guns that look real, I will explain why those items entice fear in others because of how dangerous they are. I know a lot of people who played with pretend guns (INCLUDING MYSELF and my husband) quite a bit who turned out to be very gentle and respectful and would not keep a gun in their home.

guns

[robroys.livejournal.com]

Growing up in AK I cannot quite remember when I started with toy guns. I do remember going shooting for the first time... I needed glasses, but my vision was not that bad, but bad enough not to shoot very well. I was branded a reader not a hunter...

Still I learned guns are not toys in a big way. Something about a shotgun being blasted into the muskeg a few feet away really impressed me to not play with guns.

As far as toy guns, you should be more concerned about whether or not you want to raise a candy assed commie!

Squirt guns and water balloons are easily the best toys EVER. Will it lead to another Timothy McVeigh? I think not.

Bugs Bunny Road Runner hour was the best thing ever btw.

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

i wasnt a boy but i made my own guns out of anything i could find. i was a gun nut.
kate is already doing it.
it has nothing to do with sex.

[raving-liberal.livejournal.com]

Agreed. We made bows and arrows out of everything and enacted some pretty bloody battle scenes!

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

i was a fencer in school so i used dolls (barbie types) and made them into things to fence with... they were my foils when I wasnt in school.

i also repeatedly killed the dolls with my pointers as guns. i was a murderous child.

i would also perform surgeries on things trying to save them...

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

oh and i never watched tv when i was younger. i didnt watch tv until i was over 10 years old.. by then i had done by share of killing legions of people.

[erinya.livejournal.com]

I wasn't a big gun girl but oh man did I love my swords. Plastic or improvised. Am non-violent today, possibly to a fault.

[erinya.livejournal.com]

Neither did I! I got all my ideas from books...

[raving-liberal.livejournal.com]

We were PBS only kids (my mom was ubercrunch), though we read a lot of Narnia and the Hobbit type stuff. Lots of swords, arrows, spears, etc. My brother, however, was way into guns. At 18 months old, having a) never seen a real gun (my parents didn't own them) and b) having never been around gun owners, picked a stick up in the yard, pointed it at the sky, and said, "Pew! Bird dead." I think some of this stuff is hard-wired -- like baby animals play fighting.

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

so did i.

my imagination was insane...

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

i am sure your brother grew up to be a serial killer too. As we speak I am writing this from the federal pen for a clock tower incident.

[raving-liberal.livejournal.com]

He's actually all but finished his application process to become an FBI field agent. He failed the PT test the first time due to being 7 seconds too slow on his sprint -- because of pneumonia! He's currently a successful Cisco systems engineer w/ a degree from GA Tech. ;)

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

obviously a failure.

[raving-liberal.livejournal.com]

He also became a homeowner at 23. The violence inherent in the system totally wrecked him. ;)

[ladyartemisa.livejournal.com]

I can see that. Thats the way it usually works. :p

[raving-liberal.livejournal.com]

He was the "good" one, though. We all think he was born in his mid-50s.

[mindycl.livejournal.com]

My 3 1/2 year old routinely makes guns of out Legos, Clics and Morphuns, and comes to tell me he made a "shpritzer" (spray gun) and is shpritzing on me. And he goes P-ts! P-ts! and "sprays" me. LOL. THe Chasidic kids' version of a gun LOL!

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

Sam has started doing something gun-like but I'm not sure if he means it to be a gun or what. He takes any stick-like item and points it at whatever and makes a shhhh! noise.

But he also uses stick-like items as conductor-batons, so who knows. He loves to conduct--closes his eyes and everything!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I value your opinion here, even if you're not a parent! Never having been a boy I know there are bound to be times when I just won't "get it" when raising Bennett. Of course, he could grow up to be a show tune singing diva, who knows?

I plan to be pretty involved in what my kid/s watch and read. More so about the watching. We don't own a tv, but love media - my issue is often with the advertising! Right now that's more avoidable. I hope to encourage dialog - although I'm a hot head about feminist issues, so no doubt I'll traumatize B with that.

I was a girl that LOVED/S to hit people. Sadly, I was a bully to my little sister. I think some of us are just born more volatile than others, male or female - boys are just encouraged and allowed more than girls. I asked these questions of our male nanny and he also said that he struggled with his parents getting too involved in the fun play and his socialising. Even though he wasn't keen on it, sometimes you just needed to play what your friends wanted to play! This is good information.

I also know that I can't (and I don't want to) control everything in my son's life. But this seems particularly tricky to me.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I loathe BB guns. If my kid wanted a gun that shot things we might then consider actually learning to use and shoot real guns, at range, with teachers, etc.

I'm wary of the forbidding thing too, for that is sure to entice some kids even more.

[bloodfever.livejournal.com]

I'm not a boy, obv, but growing up my sister and I spent at least 50% of our leisure time with my male cousins of similar age. We did more explorer-type things...riding bikes/climbing trees/crawling around in the canal/etc. In summer we spent a lot of time in the water and playing with water pistols, but it was always very literal - the intent was to wet the other person, not role-playing violence per se. We all watched tv with guns & gun violence, but never recreated it in play. We recreated violence in the form of wrestling, mostly.

As far as ninja goes, I would hope he has a similar experience. Water pistols are just an efficient way to spray water, and guns don't really factor into play. I have serious reservations about giving children any kind of toy weapon to play with, regardless of gender. While I can't control what he does with other children (once he reaches school age), I can make sure that he understands that real guns are dangerous and violence has consequences.

[raving-liberal.livejournal.com]

BB guns aren't toy weapons; that's what some parents seem to forget. They're weapons, period. Parents who give their children BB guns as toys are irresponsible, in my opinion.

Re: guns

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I certainly don't think all gun play is bad. But I'm conscious of it, you know? I'm going to have to parse all this: tv, violent play, etc. It's a part of life, so I'm not freaked. But I thought I'd get some input.

I know growing up around gun owners/users I knew that guns were tools for adults and not play things. Maybe we'll end up somewhere where this is a part of the community and it will imprint upon Bennett too. I also loved the Bugs Bunny Road Runner stuff.

As for raising a candy-assed commie.... well, too each their own.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

No, maybe I shouldn't have limited it to just males, but they do tend to be the more "gun prone" and according to Adam and my nanny, there is more pressure to engage in that kind of play.

However, I was quite the violent little girl. I looooooved to hit and hit with things.