Somewhere between 12 and 18 months, I actively night wean my kids and replace my boob with a sippy cup. The two big ones both started sleeping through the night around then and if they woke up, they'd reach for the cup themselves and go back to sleep. Then Charlie turned two and that all went to shit and she started waking up and begging to nurse a bazillion times but I refused and now she's back to sleeping through and waking up to nurse around 6.
So, fwiw, I bumped into something the other day that basically describes what R & I did w/S. It's not really what I would call "sleep training" at all, but rather was a way of helping him figure out how to sleep better/longer on his own:
R's been studying/practicing the counseling philosophy behind this for a couple decades actually (as have I for the past ~8-9 years since we've been married), so we adapted our own path based on that thinking & our experience that it seems to work (ie, getting emotions out of your system *with supportive attention from an engaged listener*, rather than suppressing them & letting them build up).
I guess it depends on how you define "sleeping through the night." They were doing the official 5-hours-or-more definition by 4 months or so on their own: 7:30-1:00 or so. But as you know, we did a modified Ferber (gave actual comfort, not just "check," but no food) around 7 months. That got us to 7:30-5:30, until recently.
Ninja was sleeping from around 10.30pm to 6am (sometimes 5am) most of the time from 3 months, and we've had rough patches but has been doing it pretty much since. From 6 months he has slept from 8pm - 6am.
We didn't do sleep training of any kind, but we did stop offering food as the first method of comfort at night, trying pretty much everything first and using food as a backup plan (although even back then most of the time it only took one round of cuddle/pat to get him back to sleep). A bit harder for you to do with B since he knows the food comes from your person ;).
can't go by me. Son had multiple allergies - asthma - other things. Had a very special rare formula which was all he could eat. He wasn't that hungry during the day but woke up ravenous around 2am. You do what you have to do. Eventually he could eat real food and began to sleep through the night. He was always an early riser. 4am was up and at'em time. Somehow I survived until he was old enough to be up by himself. Fortunately he was always a careful child. Some books and toys in his room and some dry cereal to snack on managed to keep him amused til I got up at 6. No, he could not have all his toys in his room - dust etc.
My advice. just roll with it. Do what you are comfortable doing. There is no "right" way. No one solution is the one that "always" works or lasts forever. Just when you think you've got it solved things change.
We put our kid in his own room as an experiment at, I dunno, maybe 10 months. He magically went from waking 1-3 times per night (had to be breastfed to sleep again) to sleeping through 8.30pm-7am probably 2 nights out of 3. If I could go back in time, I'd definitely put him in his own room sooner.
Our son NEVER slept in the same room with us. Because it wasn't the way things were done and because my husband needed his sleep. Yes, I know that sounds "anti-feminist". But it was true. He was working long odd hours and needed his sleep.
I think being in the parents room just adds to the problem for both baby and parents.
And a tip for later which seems to contradict what I am saying. Sometime after age three they wake in the middle of the night and want to get in your bed. The doctors then insisted you take them back to their room. Again and again. That way led to no sleep for everyone. Our solution was to have a quilt and pillow on the floor on my side of the bed (which was also near the heat). Son would just wander in and settle down to sleep beside the bed. After awhile I didn't even wake up. Eventually he didn't need to do that any more.
Jayden started sleeping through the night from 7 weeks to 6 months, by himself. Then he went through a big phase where he woke every night at 2-3am, just for boob. We started to train him to sleep through the night at around 11 months, as I was going back to work. It went well. He was cranky when he woke up at 2-3am and realised that he wasn't going to get the boob, but he settled down after about 20 minutes. This went on for 5 nights, then he started sleeping through the night again.
Now, he only wakes up during the night if he is sick, poor baby.
I'm struggling with the concept of 'training' & 'baby' since in my view (I'm old remember...) the baby time is largely about instinct.
Babies are small animals - they cry if they're hungry, in pain, uncomfortable or bored. So you feed 'em, change them & play with them. By & large a baby makes her/his own routine & forcing anything is unwise.
Babies in with parents is a matter of choice. As seaivy points out, things were different in 'our day' lol! My babies slept in their own rooms after six weeks & thrived. But unlike most mothers in those days, I carried mine in a sling quite a lot. I liked to have them close.
I was lucky - happy babies & no horror stories. There is IMHV, far too much interference from self-important 'experts' nowadays, & an obsession with weight gain & milestones etc. So long as they can tie their own shoelaces & go to the loo unaided by the time they go to school, they'll be fine.
We started using CIO at 6 months, but there were times before that that Anna would go all night (6-10hrs) without a bottle. She actually slept 6+ hrs from 6 weeks until 4 months & then started getting up at night 2-3 times until eventually she was waking up every hour, which was why we started CIO. During the time she was waking up a million times a night was also when my PPD peaked, we moved & we switched her formula.
I think it was around 7 months when we did our 'sleep training' (which, fwiw, does not equal 'cry it out').
Our sleep training consisted of removing the soother from the nightime routine, adding a 'lovey' (stuffed animal in our case), and eliminating the middle-of-the-night feeding. The first night we just didn't give him his soother, and when he woke up we didn't give him a bottle (just went in and patted/shushed him until he went back to sleep). I was amazed at how quickly he went back to sleep, and it's been like that ever since.
He sleeps from 7:00 p.m. to anytime between 6:00-7:00 a.m. now (although we don't get him up until 6:45....if he wakes up before 6:45, he babbles to himself and plays with a crib toy that makes music, has buttons for him to push etc).
I am told I was sleeping through the night in well under 6 months. If you'd ever seen my father's reaction to being woken, this would make perfect sense to you.
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http://www.handinhandparenting.org/csArticles/articles/000000/000029.htm
R's been studying/practicing the counseling philosophy behind this for a couple decades actually (as have I for the past ~8-9 years since we've been married), so we adapted our own path based on that thinking & our experience that it seems to work (ie, getting emotions out of your system *with supportive attention from an engaged listener*, rather than suppressing them & letting them build up).
Just putting it out there...
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We didn't do sleep training of any kind, but we did stop offering food as the first method of comfort at night, trying pretty much everything first and using food as a backup plan (although even back then most of the time it only took one round of cuddle/pat to get him back to sleep). A bit harder for you to do with B since he knows the food comes from your person ;).
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My advice. just roll with it. Do what you are comfortable doing. There is no "right" way. No one solution is the one that "always" works or lasts forever. Just when you think you've got it solved things change.
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I think being in the parents room just adds to the problem for both baby and parents.
And a tip for later which seems to contradict what I am saying. Sometime after age three they wake in the middle of the night and want to get in your bed. The doctors then insisted you take them back to their room. Again and again. That way led to no sleep for everyone. Our solution was to have a quilt and pillow on the floor on my side of the bed (which was also near the heat). Son would just wander in and settle down to sleep beside the bed. After awhile I didn't even wake up. Eventually he didn't need to do that any more.
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Now, he only wakes up during the night if he is sick, poor baby.
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Babies are small animals - they cry if they're hungry, in pain, uncomfortable or bored. So you feed 'em, change them & play with them. By & large a baby makes her/his own routine & forcing anything is unwise.
Babies in with parents is a matter of choice. As
I was lucky - happy babies & no horror stories. There is IMHV, far too much interference from self-important 'experts' nowadays, & an obsession with weight gain & milestones etc. So long as they can tie their own shoelaces & go to the loo unaided by the time they go to school, they'll be fine.
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Our sleep training consisted of removing the soother from the nightime routine, adding a 'lovey' (stuffed animal in our case), and eliminating the middle-of-the-night feeding. The first night we just didn't give him his soother, and when he woke up we didn't give him a bottle (just went in and patted/shushed him until he went back to sleep). I was amazed at how quickly he went back to sleep, and it's been like that ever since.
He sleeps from 7:00 p.m. to anytime between 6:00-7:00 a.m. now (although we don't get him up until 6:45....if he wakes up before 6:45, he babbles to himself and plays with a crib toy that makes music, has buttons for him to push etc).
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