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I'm feeling conflicted
About church. I know. Not surprising. It is the story of my life. Now that I no longer feel a desire to Belong to Christianity I find that there is more room for me to enjoy it and participate. I like going to the school chapel on a Sunday morning. I like singing and I like the hour to sit quietly and meditatively smelling incense and thinking about divinity and being child free. In fact, I'd even go from time to time if I wasn't singing.
But the choir. It's awful. Two weeks ago I was running late and sat in the congregation listening. Oh man, the choir blows. There are more sopranos than anything else and one of them goes sharp and bright all the time. I'm sure I add something nice. But it's really uninspiring putting in two extra hours a week and sounding like crap. And it's no fun barely learning music. I don't know. It's still singing. It's also the best group in Lampeter. Lower my standards and be a part of a nice community?
As you can tell from the time stamp, I'm skipping church this morning. There's a second service tonight and normally I'd be super excited about it: evensong. But our chanting sucks. Suuuuuper uninspiring.
But the choir. It's awful. Two weeks ago I was running late and sat in the congregation listening. Oh man, the choir blows. There are more sopranos than anything else and one of them goes sharp and bright all the time. I'm sure I add something nice. But it's really uninspiring putting in two extra hours a week and sounding like crap. And it's no fun barely learning music. I don't know. It's still singing. It's also the best group in Lampeter. Lower my standards and be a part of a nice community?
As you can tell from the time stamp, I'm skipping church this morning. There's a second service tonight and normally I'd be super excited about it: evensong. But our chanting sucks. Suuuuuper uninspiring.
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I don't call myself a Christian because I don't know what I believe, and yeah... I haven't been part of a singing anything in awhile. I never entirely fit in with a singing group - I'm a mezzo and they'd stick me with either the altos or the sopranos and I would miss a bunch of notes because I couldn't hit them without sounding silly.