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Brief ramblings of a cluttered brain
The days are flying. Life is moving at a brisk clip. Wedding stuff continues to move forward and I am doing my best to stick to my guns about what Adam and I want and not do things "just because they are done that way." It's all very exciting.
I occasionally struggle with the whole idea of getting married and having a wedding at all. One one hand, I love ritual, I love parties and gatherings of all my favorite people, I love commitment. I also love Adam and the legal aspect was very important to him (realistically, should we ever have kids, it's also a good idea). On the other hand, the legal institution of marriage is problematic from a feminist point of view and the wedding ceremony is certainly not feminist at all (historically and globally marriage has been and is down right slavery for women, but I am not in that position at all, thankfully). I have insisted that no bride/groom or wife/husband language be used. I will not be given away. Etc. No language about covenants or spiritual mandates or obedience or whatnot will be employed either, thankfully Adam advocated these things.
But still. Weddings, heterosexuality, patriarchy. It's all linked. And were I better blogger (does this LJ thing really even count as a blog?) and a better writer and more focused I might be able to write as critically on the issue as Twisty Faster does or the fine writers at Feministe do. One day I shall have a computer and internet at home like the other inhabitants of the 21st century and I won't be compelled to squeeze my ideas in between phone calls and bills and patrons as I do at work.
Also, the contacts quest continues and my mother arrives tonight for 5 days. Yay Mum! I am looking forward to it.
I occasionally struggle with the whole idea of getting married and having a wedding at all. One one hand, I love ritual, I love parties and gatherings of all my favorite people, I love commitment. I also love Adam and the legal aspect was very important to him (realistically, should we ever have kids, it's also a good idea). On the other hand, the legal institution of marriage is problematic from a feminist point of view and the wedding ceremony is certainly not feminist at all (historically and globally marriage has been and is down right slavery for women, but I am not in that position at all, thankfully). I have insisted that no bride/groom or wife/husband language be used. I will not be given away. Etc. No language about covenants or spiritual mandates or obedience or whatnot will be employed either, thankfully Adam advocated these things.
But still. Weddings, heterosexuality, patriarchy. It's all linked. And were I better blogger (does this LJ thing really even count as a blog?) and a better writer and more focused I might be able to write as critically on the issue as Twisty Faster does or the fine writers at Feministe do. One day I shall have a computer and internet at home like the other inhabitants of the 21st century and I won't be compelled to squeeze my ideas in between phone calls and bills and patrons as I do at work.
Also, the contacts quest continues and my mother arrives tonight for 5 days. Yay Mum! I am looking forward to it.
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