theatokos | So many things to post about, such little brain space

*I love the winter holidays. Wish it felt more wintery and festive 'round these here parts.

*This nuclear family bullshit is isolating and I hate it. It takes way more than two people to raise one kid. The radical feminist in me is appalled at the binds I find myself in. I think the nuclear family is one of the single greatest myths that patriarchy has perpetuated in modern times.

*Adam and I are considering having B model. I feel conflicted about this. We are constantly getting told that B should be a baby model. We have a friend that used to be a children's agent. Extra money for a savings for B would be wonderful. We hear it's about $60/hr. But.... do I really want to support the advertising and modeling business? It also feels rather exploitative of Bennett, and he cannot offer his consent. It's like getting in bed with the devil. Feedback, please.

*There is so much to do to prepare for our trip. With no child care this week, I will be leaving my job with a lot of loose ends, and there's just not much I can do about that. I'm not sure I care all that much. I feel some guilt about being half-assed, but you know, if I really truly cared I'd find a way to get everything done.

*Off to start dinner while B is asleep. Wish I was asleep.

*Also, I think I am going to try to eliminate sugar from my diet for the duration of my trip. All the holiday sweets are starting to make me feel bad.

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noooooooooo.

baby modeling is evil.
people are constantly throwing money at me to put kate in modeling.. she has been in a few things but never for money. all non profit things.. we are on the cover of a magazine next month but again.. not for money. i refuse to do anything for money. i was a child model and i still have issues from the pressure that was put on me. it is worse for little girls I think but still.. it sucks for all kids.

thank you for this perspective. i worry about all that stuff. i'm thinking if we decide to do it, it would be only until we move. the money could be split half for moving fund, half for his savings. money is just... so seductive. but then we'd move away and wouldn't be near it. if it's all before 2 maybe he won't remember it? but then, maybe that's worse... the whole consent thing....

It also feels rather exploitative of Bennett, and he cannot offer his consent.

This.

Yeah, this is my big hang up. More so than working a system that is already corrupt.

I have some problems with that too, the industry in general, but at the end of the day if you choose to work in that industry that's your choice. If B could make the choice (or when B is a little older and able to articulate what he wants), then great, but it feels really wrong for any parent to put their baby through that...taking advantage of the fact the baby can't say "no".

Re: Modeling - *Shrug*
I think as parents we over analyze things to a fault.

Re: Nuclear Family - I am with you sister!

Re: Sugar - I've done that in the past. Gives me the WORST binges of all time.

Ah, so maybe no cold turkey on the sugar? I'm just feeling so run down.

Could be just me? Maybe sub with lots of natural sugars. :)

I would say go for it. My Shimie was such a stunning toddler, if I werent a frum Jew I'd totally do it... my family would never let me live it down, so I couldn't.

Sam was in a magazine when he was 6 months old. It wasn't worth repeating the experience--we didn't get paid for it, but even if we had, I don't want us to have to be at the beck and call of whoever these modeling people are. The agencies here say you have to be at their beck and call if you want to do it at all.

Yeah I also worry about the whole "be happy now!" "make a sad face! NO! a sad face!" thing.

I guess my objections are more pragmatic than philosophical--I meant to add that not only do I not feel like making myself and Sam available for a photo shoot on a moment's notice wherever they want us to go, but also I don't want to deal with the initial cash outlay for the photos that the agency keeps on file to show clients--which the ones around here require. I know they don't take Wal-Mart photo studio photos, and going to an actual fashion photographer can't be cheap.

I agree with you 100% about the absurdity of the nuclear family, and I don't even have kids. I just can't imagine how people can have a life and kids without extended family support. It really does take a "village" to raise a child.

I wouldn't dismiss the idea out of hand. I can't think of anything too terrible babies are modeled for. Diet pills? Cigarettes? Nope. Maybe you can land a spot with Pampers and use the money to buy cloth diapers.

If you want to look into it, see if a place will let you watch a shoot. That'll give you a much better idea of what environment you'd be putting Bennett into. Ask to talk to other parents whose babies model for them. If they won't put you in touch, then that says something right there.

I hear you on consent, but we're talking about someone who doesn't consent to sleeping through the night or wiping his own bum, either. No one on the street will ever recognize him. His political career will not be ruined by the discovery of a clip of his playing with his toes.

Fuck the patriarchy and the advertising industry and all, but how about letting _them_ support _you_ for a change?

My friend

the_moaner_lisa has a daughter who models, I'm sure you could talk to her.

hey- is it your birthday today (christmas?)?

Yup. :)

♥ you. Glad your Christmas was decent! You really need to watch Love Actually... it's set in England. Sigh. ♥

Adam and I went and saw Love Actually the first fall we were together. It was awkward to say the least. Not the film, but where we were at..... hoo boy.

I think you're cool and smart enough to protect B from shitty stuff in that business and get him out of it in time before it really effected him negatively.

If it meant making things financially easier for you guys I'd go for it.

It doesn't seem like kind of a weird thing though . . .

I'd meant to say that, too. Getting out in time is important, but I have no doubt you can do it.

I remember working for a mildly evil law firm and thereby propping up the very fucked-up securities class action system. Eh. It allowed me to apply to grad school when I did.

Twig: Agreed on the winter holidays and nuclear family! Regarding modeling, I think a few things:
If you can make some money and you don't have to spend a lot or give up too much of your life to do it, why not? You're parents who can figure out how to talk to him about this kind of thing if it works out.
Regarding consent: at this point in his life he can't consent to anything, you make all decisions for him. As he gets older this will slowly transition of course, but I don't see this would be any different from all the other decisions you currently make without his consent.
I think this doesn't have to be a big deal...if it works out go for it, if it doesn't or you don't like the idea, don't. But I don't think you should agonize over it too much.

So many things to post about, such little brain space

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