Entry tags:
Spring cleaning
In the last month I have been to L.A., Anchorage, and Seattle. I now plan to stay home a bit more, spring clean my apartment over the next 3 weeks, as well as spring clean myself with Lent. I like Lent for that reason. Not the "I'm giving stuff up (like chocolate. please.) so I can suffer with Jesus" baloney, but the "I'm going vegan and giving up alcohol in an effort to cleanse myself both internally and externally, in keeping with the season -after heavy winter foods and preparing for the burst of true spring coming soon- and in keeping with all the great spiritual traditions that have recognized a need to clear away excess in order to invite in something special." That's Lent to me.
Along the lines of simplification, cleansing, and restoring balance to one's life, I am 99% decided to forgo PhD studies at this time. I've been dragging my heals on the application. I've been thinking of it in terms of "Once I get my advanced degree, then I'll take myself seriously." Bullshit. It's clear I have the skills and support to get a PhD. I've got the languages, the research skills, the enjoyment for reading and school, but I do not have the desire to grow up to be a university professor. Listening to a couple of friends talk about their programs, their struggles, the publishing, the departmental politics.... I do not care about any of that. Therefore, I can a write a book on my own time and not have to stress about extra debt. I can always go back for that PhD if it becomes crucial to my career. That's my reasoning. I feel almost entirely convinced. It's just hard to give up a plan I've had for myself since I was about 12. Good thing it's Lent.
(Also, I want to move to Seattle tomorrow. I don't care how great my job is. Oakland, the Bay Area, Berkeley especially, I'm done with you - you of the overpriced everything and the uninspiring food, and massive sprawl, unmasked by verdant trees and undistracted by snow peaked mountain ranges, you of the fancy car owning hordes.)
Along the lines of simplification, cleansing, and restoring balance to one's life, I am 99% decided to forgo PhD studies at this time. I've been dragging my heals on the application. I've been thinking of it in terms of "Once I get my advanced degree, then I'll take myself seriously." Bullshit. It's clear I have the skills and support to get a PhD. I've got the languages, the research skills, the enjoyment for reading and school, but I do not have the desire to grow up to be a university professor. Listening to a couple of friends talk about their programs, their struggles, the publishing, the departmental politics.... I do not care about any of that. Therefore, I can a write a book on my own time and not have to stress about extra debt. I can always go back for that PhD if it becomes crucial to my career. That's my reasoning. I feel almost entirely convinced. It's just hard to give up a plan I've had for myself since I was about 12. Good thing it's Lent.
(Also, I want to move to Seattle tomorrow. I don't care how great my job is. Oakland, the Bay Area, Berkeley especially, I'm done with you - you of the overpriced everything and the uninspiring food, and massive sprawl, unmasked by verdant trees and undistracted by snow peaked mountain ranges, you of the fancy car owning hordes.)