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[personal profile] theatokos
After a night of horrible anxiety dreams (deformed babies, grief, etc) we went to The Ultrasound this morning. Took over an hour. The little baby is nestled deep into my pelvic bowl. The part where I'm large? Inconsequential. The technician had to cram that wand into my right hip bone and pubic bone to get at the babe. But all parts are a-okay! Healthy, squirmy, stubborn. That's my kid.

And what kind of parts? BOY parts. Very obviously a boy. I was deeply attached to a girl - felt girl, had strong feelings for a girl name.... so of course I came home and cried my eyes out. I'm disappointed. To my guy friends: it's not you, it's me. I'll get over this. In the end it doesn't matter at all. He'll be cute and wonderful and thank god moms get flooded with hormones that make us think our kids are the greatest things since cheese.

What I'm really nervous about is, my family - both immediate and extended - only come in pairs. Whatever the first was, the second was. Adam is one of two boys. His mother is one of four girls in a row before the boy. I would bet good money on the fact that I am now going to have a boy filled family. I wish I didn't feel resigned in that, but I do. At least my father now has the boy he always wanted.

As for names, Adam's leaning toward Beckett William. He'll have Adam's last name (since the girls would've/will get mine). I have no real opinions. Perhaps this will change.
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theatokos

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