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I was in labor. Tonight my little boy will be one week old.

This morning was perhaps my lowest moment. I struggled with despair. I was so. profoundly. tired.

But, after an hour long nap and some actual grown up conversation with one of the nurses, Adam, and the NICU social worker I felt revived. We laughed. I was holding B while he was being fed (through the nose still) but we were talking about religion and Judaism and stuff and I felt like for that half hour my whole existence wasn't focused on the baby.

THEN, then Adam and I went to pay for the birth. I thought my insurance covered all of the birth but $500 (not that I was planning to have to use my Kaiser insurance, but I'm glad we have it!). Turns out we only owed $400. And the best part..... we owe nothing for the NICU stay. I almost burst into tears for my relief and joy. I had just resigned myself to an abyss of debt. Between credit cards and school loans, what's some medical debt? But, now, we don't have to worry. PRAISE BE.

I celebrated tonight with two glasses of white wine. A chicken is currently roasting in my oven. Tomorrow house cleaners are coming over to deep clean the apartment, courtesy of some of my girlfriends. We're still looking at - at least - a couple more days in the NICU. But tonight, things feel slightly more manageable.
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October 2010

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