Mar. 18th, 2005

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As Mary begins to fade into in my mind like the setting sun - beautifully at an end and yet also only for a time; for She waits to rise again in the morning - other ideas and issues percolate to the surface. I am attempting to approach singing as something for others and not for myself. I have issues of selfishness that I dress up in other clothes, when really, I just can't share. I have been hoarding my voice, out of self-protection, but hoarding nonetheless, and like the Dead Sea that has no outlet, my voice sits and stagnates.

Also percolating: a few theological ideas. One, I want to learn more about Trinitarian theology and pneumatology (holy spirit stuff), and rework the Trinity into God as genderneutral with Jesus and Mary as the other two. This is heresy, but it avoids the filioque issue, on which the Catholics and Orthodox disagree (the Catholics added the filioque clause into the Creed, which says the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son; the Orthodox thinks it proceeds only from the Father). Second, idea is about a eucharistic approach to food and our consumption of it. I think this is a fruitful connection for ecofeminist theology. Third, I'd like to learn more about Mary Magdalene and do somekind of Mary/Mary work on them, like them as bookends to Jesus. I hope to explore these ideas over the next few..... decades.

Working on this thesis, working so obsessively, so constantly, so hard, has really changed the way my brain works. I don't want to lose momentum. I want to dust off my Latin! I want to go check out periodicals in French! I want to sit and drink coffee and dawdle under trees reading the crusty ol' Fathers!

I want to go boldly forward with this oh-so-slim boost in confidence, skill, and opportunity. I desperately don't want to stop now.
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I think the only book I have read cover to cover in 2005 is Sarah Jane Boss' Mary: New Century Theology. I have read so many books, but mostly for my thesis, where I only read relevant chapters or the intro and conclusion. But only one book cover to cover so far.

Hmmm.... Maybe I read the galley to Alice Hoffman's latest in January. I read that all in one sitting. The Ice Queen I think it's called.

But now, I am reading Troll. So far, so good.

In other news, I finally broke down and bought a new pair of black shoes.

Added 23 March: I realize I have read two other books Evolutinary Witchcraft by T. Thorn Coyle and Eucalyptus by Murray Bail, an Australian novel.

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