hmmmm...I've been thinking about this and these are some of my thoughts....not in any order - they may leap around a bit.
Have I been on the short end of the stick at times? Yes. I have been raped. I have had a boss give me the "fuck or walk" option. I have had people be jerks to me because of my gender and they made a point of letting me know that. So it's not like I live in a fantasy land. I don't.
This used to pissed me off. (and it still does, but in another way) I would get angry at how "society" treated women. How society depicted women. I decried films, books, advertisments, etc.
But society is us. And I don't know about you...but I am an individual, with my own hopes, fears, experiences, dreams, and attitudes. I can be nice and I can be an asshole. I turn into a serious asshole when someone tries to treat me like...some nameless mass, not as the individual that I am.
Everyone out there is an individual. They have a choice in how they will treat their fellow human beings and in how they will react to situations. Some people will always choose to be jerks and will treat others like shit for no good reason. No amount of changing their environment will change that. We can have every awesome movie, book, role models, etc...and they will still be class A assholes.
I can only control my behaviour - that's all I can do. I choose to not give a shit about race, gender, religion in how I treat other humans. To me, they are all humans. Period. If more people made that choice, we would see change in this world. The change, the decision can only come from within each individual, it can't be imposed from the outside. (Although we can punish outward behavior)
Controlling my reaction - internally and externally...that's another thing I can do. That's a power that I have. I do not need anyones' permission or approval to be equal, to have worth. While others may do things to me, they do not change the condition of my Being, what I AM. Here is part of the difference...I was raped 19 years ago. I allowed myself to rape myself everyday for about 7 years after that.
I think too many women still look to men (society) to grant them the approval of being equal. You said that one of the things that bothered you in the film was the chick saying things like "you came back for me" or "you left me behind". Isn't that what many women say today? "You haven't validated how awesome I am by making better movies about women." That kind of thing. It's still waiting for others, and holding them responsible, for your (plural, general) sense of worth. Their approval is not needed. Sounds corny...but I do believe in "Be the change you wish to see in the world" - because you ARE the world. You are not insignifigant, powerless, beholden.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-03-26 02:45 pm (UTC)Have I been on the short end of the stick at times? Yes. I have been raped. I have had a boss give me the "fuck or walk" option. I have had people be jerks to me because of my gender and they made a point of letting me know that. So it's not like I live in a fantasy land. I don't.
This used to pissed me off. (and it still does, but in another way) I would get angry at how "society" treated women. How society depicted women. I decried films, books, advertisments, etc.
But society is us. And I don't know about you...but I am an individual, with my own hopes, fears, experiences, dreams, and attitudes. I can be nice and I can be an asshole. I turn into a serious asshole when someone tries to treat me like...some nameless mass, not as the individual that I am.
Everyone out there is an individual. They have a choice in how they will treat their fellow human beings and in how they will react to situations. Some people will always choose to be jerks and will treat others like shit for no good reason. No amount of changing their environment will change that. We can have every awesome movie, book, role models, etc...and they will still be class A assholes.
I can only control my behaviour - that's all I can do. I choose to not give a shit about race, gender, religion in how I treat other humans. To me, they are all humans. Period. If more people made that choice, we would see change in this world. The change, the decision can only come from within each individual, it can't be imposed from the outside. (Although we can punish outward behavior)
Controlling my reaction - internally and externally...that's another thing I can do. That's a power that I have. I do not need anyones' permission or approval to be equal, to have worth. While others may do things to me, they do not change the condition of my Being, what I AM. Here is part of the difference...I was raped 19 years ago. I allowed myself to rape myself everyday for about 7 years after that.
I think too many women still look to men (society) to grant them the approval of being equal. You said that one of the things that bothered you in the film was the chick saying things like "you came back for me" or "you left me behind". Isn't that what many women say today? "You haven't validated how awesome I am by making better movies about women." That kind of thing. It's still waiting for others, and holding them responsible, for your (plural, general) sense of worth. Their approval is not needed. Sounds corny...but I do believe in "Be the change you wish to see in the world" - because you ARE the world. You are not insignifigant, powerless, beholden.