Losing it

The next time someone says to me "Why don't you just drive to the Such-and-Such Park?" or "...But the hills...?" I'm going to fucking lose it and hurt someone. They just don't get it. And, really, how could they. Drive an hour or two to get to some semblance of wilderness? In the car I don't have? Or drive several hours to Yosemite? Yeah, they've never been to Alaska. And I am spoiled. Spoiled rotten. I'm finally uncovering the root of that phrase. Something is rotten in my core and I am spoiled. It is unfortunate that I am the broken record for which I have always had little patience. If you're not happy here why don't you just move where you will be? Sheesh! Now shut up! If only.

It's also tedious to daily count the reasons why my life here is so good:
1. My apartment is lovely and comfortable and welcoming.
2. The abundance of fresh food and good wine and myriad methods of public transportation make life here pleasant, indeed.
3. I love the people I work with and the organization I work for. It's full of opportunity and nurturing. This is rare, I know.
4. Last, but oh so certainly not least, are my friends. So vibrant. And they care about me and support me, too.

So why am I not happy? Why is this not enough? And what can I do about this?

I am afraid I will one day get back to Juneau and find that it's been just a phantom all along, and I'm not happy there either.