Remember my Twilight post?

[theatokos]

(one handed typing here)

Go Fug Yourself summed it up like this:
So, after careful consideration of approximately three minutes, I've decided Twilight would work a lot better for me on ice. Think about it: Pairs figure skating, much like the book itself, is all about melodrama, separation and reunion, and invading each others' personal space in a sexually unsatisfying way. All of Edward's condescending yearning and stalking would be way more fun if he were doing it while flitting about the rink in puffy shirts and tight trousers, tossing off triple Axels of romantic angst and throwing Bella into the air before catching her with one hand (subtext: "You must not love me BUT I LOVE YOU but stay away BUT NOT TOO FAR AWAY let me stare at you NO I MUSTN'T but I will LET ME TOE-LOOP MY FEELINGS don't look at me EXCEPT DO I am dangerous TIME TO SPARKLE"). Meanwhile, boring Bella, who in the text generally just repeats herself ad nauseum about how Edward's face/chest/voice/muscles/eyes/lips/piano talent/strength/secret macrame projects are more beautiful and perfect than anything in the human realm, could spend the rest of the time enacting a metaphor for her inner monologue by spinning over and over again until Edward rescues her from herself. Throw in some multicolored spotlights and the whole thing is practically begging for an Olympic ice-skating duo to reinterpret it at the Vancouver 2010 games.


It all makes perfect sense now.

Comments

[erinya.livejournal.com]

I saw that post yesterday and it made me LOL.

I can totally see it happening in 2010, too.

[hrafntinna.livejournal.com]

Harrr.

[imp-of-satan.livejournal.com]

You need to copyright this idea pronto, then sell it to some figure skaters.

[howilearned.livejournal.com]

I knew the Fug ladies were clever, but when the wife showed this to me I had to bow down to their skills of film/fashion analysis.

[alizarin71.livejournal.com]

IT'S SO TRUE. All the nieces at my Thanksgiving thing were talking about it. Ghuuh. What is the point of a vampire who never bites anybody? It's like a science fiction show set on Earth, with a rocket in the back yard, where they talk about going somewhere but never do. He's a Tofurkey vampire.