(no subject)

[theatokos]

I read this at the bottom of today's PostSecret and it makes me so mad. Oakland Kaiser is where I birthed Bennett and is 10 blocks from my house, maybe less. I find Kaiser to be fine, but only because I am healthy, educated and take charge. The letter below makes me so sad and angry.


Dear Frank,

I went to the PostSecret exhibit in Walnut Creek and left a secret on a pink index card that said:

I skipped school today.
My eating disorder is back.
I've started cutting again.

On my way home I went to the Oakland Kaiser to ask for help. They put me on the phone and I was shuffled around and transferred six times and asked the same questions over and over again until someone finally connected me to the after-hours (it was 4:00PM) urgent psych nurse.

The urgent psych nurse got mad at me and started raising her voice saying I was being too vague and she couldn't help me because I was sobbing and didn't know what was wrong.

I left numb with dejection and hopelessness. I went home and cut myself. I still don't know why. But I cleaned myself up and just sat in my room staring outside for a long long time before picking up my PostSecret books and reading through all of them completely. I felt a little less alone.

I have no idea if this is the right email address to send this to or if you will even read it. But I am writing this to say Thank you for showing me that I am not alone in my solitude. Thank you for taking time. Thank you for giving the gift of PostSecret.

Comments

[kittyx-x.livejournal.com]

well they can't be that 'dejected & hopeless' if they posted on the internet about it straight afterwards.

[readthisandweep.livejournal.com]

Er... did you really mean to say that? If you did, then may I suggest you research the nature of self-harming?

If you didn't mean it, it so isn't funny.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Are you familiar with PostSecret? Are your struggles less difficult because you post about them on LJ? People reach out and discuss their struggles with one another because it helps break the isolation that leads to self destructive behavior.

[honeyrider.livejournal.com]

ugh. just ugh.