What is most needed right now is gratitude

[theatokos]

Life feels like a total train wreck these days. Let me enumerate the ways:
*No one at the Univ of Wales, Lampeter, feels the need to return emails
*We still do not have visas, nor a place to live
*Our stuff is everywhere in an already full house
*Santee is a suburban wasteland
*I feel like we're bleeding money
*Adam and I are getting testy with each other
*My wrist is getting better but is still preventing me from normal action
*Bennett is teething, between that and anxiety attacks I am not sleeping well
*Which leads to my brain and attitude not functioning well
*There are other decisions to be made about various things and I just don't have the bandwidth for them
*For example, if we don't get the visas, what the hell do we do? (First thought out of the gate? Anchorage)


And all that leads me to what I'm grateful for these days:
*Airconditioning
*A happy, healthy, delightful, patient kid
*In-laws that do not guilt me or annoy me, that let my family take over their house, and seem to even enjoy it
*Adam's increasing self-employment
*Lots of great tv and movies thanks to Adam's computer skills
*Mindless reading of vampire mystery/romances
*Hot tea with whole milk

Comments

[goldenmoonbear.livejournal.com]

>*No one at the Univ of Wales, Lampeter, feels the need to return emails

WORD! That place...sheesh.

I wish many hot teas with whole milk for you during this stressful time.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Lampeter wholly deserves to be absorbed by another univ branch. Seriously.

Which sucks because damn, the grad programs are great. As are the faculty.

[chiv.livejournal.com]

The word is that everything has slowed down because it is being absorbed by another branch, or rather 'merging' with another college.
From what I've been told, all of the staff have had to reapply for their jobs so admin has tanked processing all of that.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

It sucks for everyone. I am just a giant mess of stress. How the hell are we going to find a place to live?? ACK.

[chiv.livejournal.com]

My suggestion? i)You delay coming over until all the paperwork at Lampeter (or wherever you end up) is in place then ii)One of you comes over for a week or two to house-hunt. iii)Once they've found a place, Bennet and the other follow on.

Alternatively ii) Find someone in Lampeter to do your house-hunting for you, for a fee if necessary. (What's Carol doing at the moment?) iii) Once they've found a place, you all move across.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I've thought of some of those options. i) is the most likely. ii) Is MUCH more difficult. Bennett is still breastfeeding and traveling that far alone with a toddler is not something I recommend.

Carol is currently one of the main organizers behind Women In Tune, so she's quite busy.

But, we can always stay in a hotel for a week if we need to.

[readthisandweep.livejournal.com]

*(What's Carol doing at the moment?)

Er... working like a nutter to help organise a music festival???

[snowcalla.livejournal.com]

wow. I'm pulling for you. That's gotta be hell not knowing WTF is going on.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

It's really taking it's toll. On one hand, I think I'm doing a great job of going with the flow. I'm really proud of myself/me and Adam for going out on a limb, taking risks and seeking out opportunities. On the other hand, dealing with a toddler and not feeling as focused for the details as I did pre-Bennett adds to the stress. And my self care is wildly all over the map.

I feel pretty ill most of the time. I'm constantly feeling the urge to call people, do things, STUDY, PACK, CLEAN, GO! But don't feel physically or mentally up to it.

Insert icon of vomiting here.

Like all things: this will pass.

[keypike.livejournal.com]

Nothing can't be solved (or soothed at least) by a nice hot cup of tea.

It sounds like you're actually coping really well with the chaos, even if it doesn't feel that way.

[seaivy.livejournal.com]

Just a few thoughts
And none of this is really any business of mine so you can ignore it all :-)

It seems the universe is telling you that change is good but you need a Plan B

From reading you I think your heart is in Alaska.

Since your study and degree is not for employment you have all the time in the world. And Lampeter doesn't seem ready for you right now.

You can read and study anywhere. Technology can get what you need to you. Your family especially Bennett need you right now.

A Plan B could give you space and time to move at a more measured pace and restore your positive energy.

Blessings

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

We'll see. If we get the visas, we're going. If it's only for a short time, so be it. I love Alaska, but the time is not right. And Anchorage..... what a dive. It would be like being in suburban hell, only with my most loved ones there and way more and better nature.

But we'll see. I actually do think - in my heart of hearts - that is going to work out. I mean, it will, whether we end up in Lampeter or not. But I really feel like that's where we're going to be. The only thing is, I can't postpone my degree any more. Must do it or forfeit my space.

[(Anonymous)]

Amen!

[lillitu-shahar.livejournal.com]

sheesh. just catching up on my friends list and now i feel crappy for dumping on you all my crap during our chat this AM.

here i thought that you were enjoying some time off before hitting Wales and PhD work, and had no idea that you were stressed out this much yourself.

we should chat again soon. this time i will listen and you can rant...

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

It was no problem at all, really. Yeah, things are super stressful. My parts are a shambles. Bleh. And I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with the Thorn thing.

But I didn't mind helping out a mama friend!

[lillitu-shahar.livejournal.com]

well, that's sweet. but i strive to be a better friend, and know that it isn't always *all* about me! grin!

good chatting with you these last few times. look forward to more. get my 1st ultrasound this week, i think- so perhaps we will find out the sex...