Three weeks

[theatokos]

I keep postponing my partial posts 'Things that are different #2' and 'Things I like about Lampeter.' I am going to whine a little right now.

Yesterday Bennett and I went on a 4 mile, 2 hour walk out of town. I pushed B up hills and down hills, around a forest and along a river. This place is so peaceful and beautiful. The walk was just what I needed, and B had a wonderful time too. We saw cows and sheep and two swans flying low overhead. Last night I went to bed early. I crawled in with B at 8pm and didn't get up until 7.30 this morning. I didn't sleep through the night - when Bennett does, then I will! But that much physical rest was necessary and only highlighted just how exhausted I am on the inside. I want to curl up in a ball in a corner somewhere, wrapped in a big cuddly blanket or duvet, and have a cry. It's so hard trying to concentrate on reading Important Scholarly Works when we still don't have internet at home, which means Adam can't pursue his work and we can't use skype, which means I can't resolve things with our credit cards or my bank back in Oakland, which means we're getting close to the end of our available cash. And we still don't know how we're going to resolve the childcare issue. The Vice Chancellor hasn't yet responded to my letter.

I'm really trying not to panic about all of this. I know these are just bumps along the road of moving abroad. And we've only been here three weeks. But this all comes on the heels of living out of bags and boxes for three full months now. I'm really really tired. It's hard to plug ahead as if life were normal when some pretty important pieces are as yet unresolved and out of our control.

My stomach hurts. I'm sad. I'm really overwhelmed and waiting for relief. Maybe tomorrow?

Comments

[snowcalla.livejournal.com]

It's OK to cry. Moving to a new area, let alone a foreign country, is overwhelming. And not to say anything bad...but one of the things I found out about living abroad is that it is just damn hard to get ANYTHING done. And no one seems to have the same time concept that we have. For the most part, in the USA, shit gets done and gets done quickly. This means the people doing the getting done are the ones with all the stress. Elsewhere - shit gets done when it gets done and not before. (Unless you know someone who had a cousin, who...) This means that the people wanting the getting done have all the stress.

Both systems cause stress - we are just used to it one way and you are expereincing it the other way.

[eelsalad.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, dealing with bureaucratic crap is so infuriating. I'll second the statement that it's ok to cry when you're overwhelmed. I read somewhere years ago that crying actually helps to rebalance hormones levels affected by stress. So, it's actually good for you!

You and Adam are two of the awesomest people I know, and if you can make it from zero to Wales in nine months, I can't imagine anything else will stand in your way for long either.

[lopezuna.livejournal.com]

As regards the child care: You'll probably get a faster response out of the vice chancellor's office if you phone. Preferably every day until you get a response. Obviously you call putting on your politest voice and say sorry to trouble you and so on a million times over. But I think people find it much easier to ignore letters and e-mails than the phone. Sounds to me like right now, you need to resolve the uncertainty of your situation more than anything, and this would help.

Internet - that's got to be a major pain in the arse. Who is the provider? What do they say their issue is?

I have no idea how you can concentrate on anything study-related with all that stuff going on. I think this is one thing that men are better at than women. My husband can block out stuff that is bothering him by burying himself in work. Not me. But baby steps. One thing I find helps a lot is really narrowing down specific tasks by thinking what I would tell somebody else in my position to start with. I make a to-do list with items like, write 300 words on X, or figure out what such and such article says about Y. The day counts as a success if I can tick off 2 or 3 of the things on my work to-do list.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

It's REALLY hard to focus when my general living to-do list far exceeds my academic list! I finally heard back from the VC. Here, though, calling and pushing and not the way to get things done. Things do move more slowly here and it's such a small community that making unnecessary enemies is not wise.

[keypike.livejournal.com]

My mother always says "Tomorrow is another day" - I saw that to myself when I get overwhelmed....tomorrow is another day, another chance for things to get better. And they will!

And truly, sometimes a good cry under a blanket is all you need.