(no subject)

[theatokos]

*One of the reasons I love Adam so much is that he makes me a better person. Often I hate this about him, but sometimes he knows my intentions better than I do. Tonight we were discussing the Twilight phenomenon. On Sunday, two people in the church choir I sing with, both students, were discussing the books and movies, and tried to engage me in conversation. I told them I needed to avoid talking about it, because I was sure to offend them with my loathing. Off the cuff I come across like I think everyone who loves the books and movies are stupid. And I suppose there is something in that gut reaction. I don't put much faith in the mass market.

But do you want to know why I really hate Twilight? What really makes me so upset? It's that millions of American women are swooning over a semi-abusive relationship and want to be Bella, who has no agency. Millions of American women think that this is as good as it gets. Millions of American women are selling themselves short. And it kills me.

*Entirely unrelated, Adam, Bennett and I watched Julie and Julia tonight. I am completely sucked into the charm of Julia Child. I want to cook! Fancy French dishes! I want to try meringues! Boning a duck! I want to eat delicious food and drink excellent wine.

Adam and I are also contemplating working our way through Meryl Streep's oeuvre. Adam looked at me tonight and said "I'm totally gay for Meryl." I think I might be too.

*It is cold here. The heat is on and we're still chilly. It's been clear the last two days and nights. I hope it lasts for the next few days. The moon is nearly full and it's so beautiful. I can actually see stars here.

*Even though the doctor's have told me twice that my ears and throat look perfectly healthy, my left ear still hurts when I swallow. And it waxes and wanes through the day. I don't understand. I really hope it's not psychosomatic.

Comments

[snowcalla.livejournal.com]

But do you want to know why I really hate Twilight? What really makes me so upset? It's that millions of American women are swooning over a semi-abusive relationship and want to be Bella, who has no agency. Millions of American women think that this is as good as it gets. Millions of American women are selling themselves short. And it kills me.

No shit. That craptastic series kills me for that reason, but also for the more sacrilegious reason of how they fucked up the vampire genre. I want blood. I want throats being ripped out. I want gore!

Julie and Julia - I KNEW you would love it! Knew it. Great film and so much fun. More than anything, it exemplifies what love of oggd food is all about.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Julia Child's total abandonment to her joy of food/cooking/eating was so utterly unselfconscious, refreshing, and inspiring. I didn't know much about her, so finding out that she started her world altering influence later in life based on a hobby is fabulously motivating! Also, her relationship with her husband was a breath of fresh air in movie romances. They obviously got it on, but there's was a love built on complete enjoyment of one another. Adam and I got all mushy watching the movie. At the end, he said "What a great way to spend 2 hours."

[jesamin.livejournal.com]

I think you give millions of American women too much credit. They're not reading into it as deeply as you seem to be. They (myself included) just see it as a love story. I don't think that teenage girls are going to internalize the idea that Bella is without agency and decide that they need to act like that to get a man (or vamp or whatever). I don't see it as anymore dangerous than Romeo and Juliet which teens are going to have shoved down their throats as a great love story come highschool.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

But this is why it's so distressing!! It's NOT a great love story! If this is what women see as a good love story, then they are setting their sights too low. That people can't recognize abuse and manipulation when they see it, that women do not notice a lack of agency because they are inured to it is terrifying. This actually makes me upset. This part of my Twilight issue comes out of deep love, not the judgement that I usually throw around.

I do agree somewhat with Romeo and Juliet, with two exceptions: the writing is excellent and I don't see girls and women queueing up to stalk people who play Romeo and basically going nuts over the play.

[readthisandweep.livejournal.com]

If this is what women see as a good love story, then they are setting their sights too low. That people can't recognize abuse and manipulation when they see it, that women do not notice a lack of agency because they are inured to it is terrifying.

Hoorah!

[amyura.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about Twilight. As a submissive myself, I have no problem with submissive fantasies. But for some reasons (gee, I wonder why) the ones I read and enjoy, as well as have myself, pretty much all center around a powerful woman who's in control of the rest of her life giving it up, consensually, in the bedroom.

One of my best friends is REALLY into Twilight. She's an ENGLISH PROFESSOR at a major university in our area. (Which, if you know where I live, is saying something, as this area boasts numerous colleges and universities with world-class reputations.) She knows it's crap, so I'll give her that, but I dunno.....the whole thing leaves a really bad taste in my mouth in a way that even something like Story of O doesn't. Maybe because at least Story of O doesn't pretend to be romantic.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

If only Twilight were nuanced in a BDSM way, then at least it would make slightly more sense.

[imp-of-satan.livejournal.com]

I totally offended some airhead the other day, she was gushing about the Twilight books and she totally turned her back to me to continue gushing about it. I realized later that I thought she was an idiot and she could tell.

I thought it was funny, but sometimes I'm an insensitive asshole!

I hate that powerless Bella is such a role model to so many women. And women that I respect! That's the hardest part!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

The hard part for me is to express why it dismays me so much without alientating others. SUPER hard to do.

[readthisandweep.livejournal.com]

We've been here before with this discussion but I'm happy to reiterate that I agree with you 100%. I read the first two books ~ they were gifts & I was curious. I loathed them for all the reasons you have stated.

It's NOT a great love story! Absolutely! It's a badly written (another reason to loathe it) piece of crap deliberately aimed at teens & making squillions of cash. Women with low self esteem get pulled in too because they've bought in to trashy misogynist mythology that tells them submission equals true love.

Wheres the reality? Where are the role models? They sure as s*** aren't in school if English professors are falling for the hype.

And if I hear one more young woman say, 'Yes, but they're really good...', I may have to hit her. (Joke) A bit...

The lie that was 'Girl Power' promulgated in the UK by The Spice Girls was IMV largely responsible for this new & worrying trend. We are nurturing [sic] a generation of young women who confuse aping the worst excesses of men (another form of submission) with standing in their real power as autonomous beings.

If this isn't a good example of why we still need feminism, I do not know what is.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Have you seen Julie and Julia? One of the reasons I loved it was that the relationship aspects were so beautiful. Men who encouraged and supported their wives, celebrated when their wives' had good fortune, and they genuinely LIKED each other. The woman didn't have to diminish herself for him, neither were the husband's diminished by their wives' success. Completely inspiring and a huge breath of fresh air in movie screen love portrayals.

[sapphire-kittum.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, all that food sounds wonderful. :)