theatokos | The state of me

I do this to myself. I go through periods where I am stupidly busy, and it's always with good stuff. I think that if I only have activity per day then I'll be fine, right? But that doesn't work when I have every single night and day planned. For instance, I spent the long weekend in Ohio, returning at midnight Oakland time Monday. Had a dinner party at the Future Governor of Alaska's place Tuesday night. Wednesday night was yoga and catching up on mail and finally unpacking. Yesterday I spent all day at a yoga conference in the city. That's right - 6 hours of yoga! Today I have my first voice lesson in 5 years. Tonight Adam and I leave for Los Angeles. Next week seems to be less chaotic but I still have my regularly scheduled yoga classes, therapy, and now voice lesson. I'm sure something social will come up. Plus, my class on the trinity at the GTU starts next Friday. And Saturday Adam and I are hosting Feast Bay. See? I'm a little crazy, and this extends through the month of February. But March looks open. Nothing penciled in there yet.

I write all of that when instead what I want to write about are the books I've read (Evelyn Waugh's The Loved One and Par Lagerkvist's The Dwarf), when instead I should be finishing up my application to the University of Wales. I get in this frenzy and seem not to be able to do much of anything.

Right-o. Focus. Breathe. I signed up for all of this. I can do all of this. I can. I want to. I want to be the woman who doesn't have to choose. I fear I have a bit of a superwoman complex, or at least I am in jeopardy of developing one. There are just too many things I want to do and there are so many opportunities here I don't want to pass by! Whenever I leave this place, by that I mean California, I realize that my time here is temporary, that is how I view my being here, and I want to suck as much sweetness as I can from this place.