SO OVERWHELMED

[theatokos]

I cannot manage my own life. TOO MUCH is going on. And it's all good. But why do I do this to myself? Why are all of my friends so interesting and nice? Why do I insist on being so active and doing things? And why must I be entering an introverted phase just right now? I am going to implode.

goddesofmercy said bullet points helped her feel more sane, so I will follow her wise example and see if it helps.

Today
*Leave work in half an hour. Thank god.
*I have canceled helping Ms. Emily move some more in exchange for time alone this afternoon. I feel like I haven't had any in years. A wee problem with that whole living together/working together/being married thing.
*Instead of being a good friend I will go for a long walk in the hot hot heat and buy some groceries for the weekend's events.
*Driving with Adam to San Jose for dinner with eelsalad, the only night our schedules seemed to line up.

Saturday
*Getting picked up by two friends on a wee break from their Peace Corps duties in Kyrgyzstan, driving up to the Russian River for a birthday party. Playing in the sun all day. For a girl as white as me, this in not necessarily a good thing.

Sunday
*Sleeping, feeling guilty about reading the NY Times instead of cleaning.
*Going to a baby/marriage blessing
*If I'm lucky I'll make it to yoga
*Goodbye bowling fun with fictional_emily before she leaves in the morning for Scotland.

Monday
*Either going to yoga with my teacher and/or driving Ms. Emily to the airport.
*Cleaning
*Planning my trip abroad
*Doing laundry
*Wishing there had been time for a real grocery shop over the weekend.


....Nope, the bullet points didn't help. I'm still battling insanity.

Comments

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

sorry the bullet points didn't help you. i hope your scheduled alone time does at least some good.

[makeda55.livejournal.com]

Well, this is certainly an extravert's schedule. And I say this with empathy, being a borderline introvert who loves manic bouts like this and then needs to retreat in order to recover.

The living together + working together + being married convergence is a serious one. eye_of_zohar and I discovered that we could do at best 2 out of 3. When we were just beginning to work together at the store, somebody handed us a book with stories of married business partners. Most of them needed to establish some separation within the business environment: coming in on different days, having a business that's big enough for separate offices, and/or carefully separating areas of responsibility. Our small business and tiny store didn't permit that. Plus, there was the matter of it being EOZ's true calling but not mine. So, we gave up the myth of total togetherness, I left working daily at the business, and our marriage is better now.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

So far, we've been pretty successful. Thankfully, we have spacious separate offices. But it is hard to balance. And lately I've been very snippy. The boundaries at work sometimes slip - I'll snap when I know I wouldn't with another coworker. And so many of our interests and friends overlap. We are WAY to together. But we're aware, and we're working on it.