What feels good

[theatokos]

I've been getting up while it's still dark. I keep thinking that it's so I can have quiet morning time to do some yoga and meditation and to eat a leisurely breakfast before work. But that's not it. In the last couple of months I haven't been all that interested in my morning routine. I'm sort of hunkering down, into what I'm not sure. I've gained 10 pounds (maybe more!) and oddly, it feels good. As if this is just what I need to be doing right now. Getting up while it's still dark is part of it. It feels good. The dark, the too quick transition from dark sky to flimsy grey light to thin morning daylight, feels good in my bones.

At the wedding this past weekend I made a comment about doing something when the summer was over. The person I was talking to gave me a confused look and I tried to figure out what I had said that was so strange. I realized that I couldn't remember what month it was, because it felt like summer: a wedding, the warm sun, the daylight. But it's October. Very much not summer. I think the general confusion was brought on by so much traveling and so many climates in such a short period of time. Now that I'm back in the East Bay I am very aware that autumn is upon us. And I like that.

Although I am still waking up in the night wondering where I am, vaguely recognizing the room but not being able to place it. I could just be going senile.

Comments

[makeda55.livejournal.com]

I had a huge jolt coming back from the tropics to find autumn already in progress here. I'm wistful about the change in seasons. I hate being cold in the winter. (And yes, I grew up where there was real winter, and I still get cold here.)

The season, my Feri work, and my GD work are all in concert. Finally! It's all about earth. Working to make things stable. In the GD I've taken off the blazing Solar mantle and now wear the form of Osiris, Green Man, Lord of the dead, and regent of the Otherworld from which new forms arise. It's much calmer.

And I've been so attentive to diet in mundane life it isn't surprising that some of my magic is using themes of incorporation. Sitting in meditation with Black Mother, trying to settle down my flitting attention, she gave me the "heart of the mountain" to swallow. It is a black heart (though not THE Black Heart) and contains the cave and pool; it sits in the belly. And in an Enochian group working at Equinox I received a golden key, which I also swallowed; it sits at my solar plexus.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Wow! How wonderful that everything is lining up! I am completely out of whack. And not just from traveling. I can tell that my diet and life style are in need of a purge. But now is not the time.

I started off this quarter all set to go: Earth! Body! I'm so good at that stuff already! I signed up for the (fantastic) boot camp. But, I've still continued to gain weight and I just don't have the motivation to do anything. I'm not organizing well, I'm eating haphazardly, I just want to sleep.... But I've realized in the last few days that for me all of my body work comes from a place of discipline - very fire and will. I think this quarter is about relaxing into the now and other parts of my body, as well as letting go of so much will. I know that I will lose this weight and get my eating healthier (I don't feel particularly awesome at present, very sluggish) when the time is right. Each time I go to DO something about it, a quiet voice within reminds me that now is not the time.

So very very different from what I was expecting this earth work to be.

[hrafntinna.livejournal.com]

I don't expect I'll have any idea what month it is by the time November rolls around.

Fall fell yesterday. It went from 90° to 55° in 24 hours and the gray layer rolled in.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Wow. 90 degrees into Oct? Crazy. I'm glad fall has finally arrived for you.