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theatokosI am part of "mothers due in July" group. It's a really great group, with a diverse range of women. I am enjoying it a lot and find it to be a great resource with little snark. However, in a recent post I mentioned that I was looking forward to being out of the first trimester so I could have a glass of wine..... ai yi yi. The back fire is not nearly as awful as it could be, but I have had a couple of women tell me that I shouldn't encourage other women to drink at all and that is never ever ok to have a drink while pregnant.
My position, most of which I have gotten from my mother, a nurse and mother of two bright and healthy kids, is that barring any health problems and once out of the first trimester, a glass of wine every now and again is just fine. She did it. I plan to as well. My sister, also a nurse, is not keen on the idea. But I'm starting to think this is just flat out indoctrination.
All the studies that I have read basically look like doctors covering their asses. And the only study I've seen quote quantities was listing the research was done with one glass a day (of course, they didn't mention if this was wine, beer, grain alcohol??). One study said that even one drink could cause delays of growth and organ development -but this sounds like lowest common denominator scare tactics. An entire generation was born to mothers who smoked and drank martinis and they turned out fine.
What kills me is that probably many of these women are continuing to drink their coffees and eat their industrial raised, chemically induced meat. We all pick our own poisons. I honestly believe that a glass of wine once in a while (what does that mean? maybe every other week? once a month?) really isn't a problem. Hell, I was pregnant for three weeks before knowing it, over Halloween, where I ingested a shit load of hard alcohol in the space of two weeks. So far the baby is fine! Of course, I have not had a drink since I found out and plan on leaving the hard liquor alone. Sigh, I miss you, gin and tonic!
Am I being unreasonably stubborn in thinking that a glass of wine every now and then is fine?
This reminds me of the story my former supervisor told me about taking her kids to a play ground in Berkeley. She had bought them McDonald's french fries as a treat and the mothers at the park gave her dirty looks.
My position, most of which I have gotten from my mother, a nurse and mother of two bright and healthy kids, is that barring any health problems and once out of the first trimester, a glass of wine every now and again is just fine. She did it. I plan to as well. My sister, also a nurse, is not keen on the idea. But I'm starting to think this is just flat out indoctrination.
All the studies that I have read basically look like doctors covering their asses. And the only study I've seen quote quantities was listing the research was done with one glass a day (of course, they didn't mention if this was wine, beer, grain alcohol??). One study said that even one drink could cause delays of growth and organ development -but this sounds like lowest common denominator scare tactics. An entire generation was born to mothers who smoked and drank martinis and they turned out fine.
What kills me is that probably many of these women are continuing to drink their coffees and eat their industrial raised, chemically induced meat. We all pick our own poisons. I honestly believe that a glass of wine once in a while (what does that mean? maybe every other week? once a month?) really isn't a problem. Hell, I was pregnant for three weeks before knowing it, over Halloween, where I ingested a shit load of hard alcohol in the space of two weeks. So far the baby is fine! Of course, I have not had a drink since I found out and plan on leaving the hard liquor alone. Sigh, I miss you, gin and tonic!
Am I being unreasonably stubborn in thinking that a glass of wine every now and then is fine?
This reminds me of the story my former supervisor told me about taking her kids to a play ground in Berkeley. She had bought them McDonald's french fries as a treat and the mothers at the park gave her dirty looks.
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no subject
Date: 2007-12-17 10:24 pm (UTC)I have a glass of wine once in a while during pregnancy. I was over in Europe and my Dr. (who trained and worked for years at Mayo Clinic in the USA) said there was nothing wrong with it during a healthy pregnancy.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-17 10:35 pm (UTC)I was just thinking that I probably put my own life and my baby's life in jeopardy every time I get in a car - I mean, the statistics are just stacked against us when it comes to car accidents! Yet, I've never been in one (thanks be to god).
Thanks for your input. I figured we'd see eye to eye on this!
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 08:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 05:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 03:07 am (UTC)I think that is a really weak argument in general. Although I do think it is fine to have wine or grain alcohol in a normal pregnancy, I think it is very important to remind people of the risks, lest they go overboard.
But in general, my parents said "My parents drank alcohol/smoked around us when we were kids and we turned out just fine!" My mother frequently used that statement.
I guess it depends upon your definition of "fine" because my parents were alcoholics and my mom died of cancer which could definitely be linked to smoking and drinking when she was 40.
For me, thats not fine.
Although I think it is important to remember that certain alcoholic beverages can have some benefits during pregnancy, if not only to relax us from the stress of it all a bit
Don't take them too seriously. Half of them will probably make even more ill-informed and reckless choices than a glass of wine :)
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 03:56 am (UTC)But it's also pretty annoying that I should have to list my IQ, educational achievements, genetic history and medical records so that people don't freak that I want a glass of wine (ONE glass of WINE) every now and again. How can some one in this day and age NOT know the risks? Oy.
I am wary repeating that I am not an alcohol, nor do I come from any, for fear of protesting too much.
I should've just omitted it. For the most part, their shock and studies are not as bad they could be.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 04:02 am (UTC)At a dinner party while pregnant, my friend the CNM saw nothing wrong with my having a small glass. She also said that she would *never* tell a patient that-- not only could she get in big trouble with her employer, she does't know them the way she knows me & knows that I'll be smart about myself. (She also told me that I could have enjoyed a short hot tub while in Japan-- as is the nightly tradition there-- but that she would have told me to steer clear of the one little piece of sushi I allowed myself to have. Ah well... And yes, Spencer seems just fine.)
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 04:22 am (UTC)Seriously, a small glass of wine at Christmas sounds like heaven to me. And I will drink it slowly, over a long time, with food. Because I'm not an idiot, you know? Ah, yes, you know!
But, please, tell me about the hot tub exception..... I had started going to the Kabuki spa monthly and oh, how I long to go back!
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 04:33 am (UTC)Alas, I can't tell you much about the hot tub exception, since I didn't pursue this line of inquiry with my friend. And I bet your NP will be a good little Kaiser-drone on the job, just like my friend would be. But basically, I think it's a similar thing to alcohol-- in moderation & with care is probably okay. As long as you get out before you get over heated-- don't boil the baby.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 05:10 am (UTC)I shall not boil my baby (goat) in its mother's milk.
Had gad yo
Date: 2007-12-18 09:24 pm (UTC)Weirdly, I have opinions on these things -- or at least near these things.
Sometimes I have trouble with the "entire generation turned out just fine" arguments, though not with alcohol. My mother's generation "turned out just fine" even though their mothers drank, smoked, ate industrial beef and wheat, whatever. Oh, except that they got smacked with a spike in gyno cancers. Of course, they are also the Pill generation. Who the hell knows what causes this stuff.
Sometimes I don't have trouble with it---or I have trouble not having trouble with it. Spanking kids is taboo now. Were whole generations seriously screwed up by getting walloped with Dad's belt? I don't know. Some people were. I think far more people got walloped than got screwed up by it. Personally, I would never bank on a specific kid being one of the "resilient" ones, as I think they're called.
Based on absolutely nothing, I say have a little wine, maybe slowly enough that you don't lap your liver.
Google "mommy drive-by" sometime if you want to read about people complaining about the busybody reflex. I don't know whose analysis it was, but I agree with whoever out there said that mostly these well-meaning criticisms are not really about being helpful (though they are well-meant) but a form of self-reassurance that the critic's own choices are The Right Ones. There's so much anxiety around this all, for obvious reasons. It's a way of coping.
I'm glad your group of moms-to-be was pretty gentle.
Re: Had gad yo
Date: 2007-12-18 11:00 pm (UTC)How spanking and whipping got to be put on the same page I'll never understand.
It'll be interesting to be a parent. It's odd but I have no compulsive perfectionism around this. It could be that I am self-absorbed enough to focus all the perfectionism in on myself. At least I'm sparing the children....
wine and babes
Date: 2007-12-18 05:27 pm (UTC)-Your not so keen sister
Re: wine and babes
Date: 2007-12-18 05:50 pm (UTC)So far, I am doing a good job of ignoring all how-to nonsense. I figure my body knows better than my brain about how to be pregnant, so I'm doing my best to listen to my belly and not my brain. So far, so good!