What's so scary about CA, you ask?

[theatokos]

Well, its probably not California itself I'm actually afraid of, since I don't really even know the place. I suspect it's my stereotypes and the overwhlemingness of it, plus it's the Unknown and just all it represents to me in general. For a girl who equates CA with TV, and for a girl who has little love for the TV and all *that* represents, CA feels like a Trojan horse of sorts: looks pretty, but who the hell knows what it holds? (Unfortunately, I feel like Laocoan, the high priest, who speared the horse in the side and suffered the vengance of Minerva in return.)

There's more to it than that, but..... I'm with-holding. It's mainly about change and letting go/opeing up and the unknown. My personal demons. I am facing them, though. Lent has turned me upside down, spun me around, and then left me for dead (so it feels like some days). I went into Lent with a willing spirit, wanting to purge and heal and all that good stuff, but it's been messy and painful and a fuckin' rollercoaster ride. Maybe Easter will bring some clarity. Only one more week to go.

Thank God.

Comments

[erinya.livejournal.com]

Cali is scary. Maybe it's not a coincidence that an alternate spelling could be Kali. *grins at shameless pagan free-association*

The rampant commercialism/capitalism here does have a tendency to eat people alive...