The longest week ever ahead

[theatokos]

Latest prognosis: Friday is the earliest he'll be released. I was so hoping for mid week so that we could have some time ALONE together before Adam's parents and other loved guests arrive on Friday. I'm starting to feel like a caged lioness. I haven't spent a single minute alone with my child and I feel like my heart is in a vice grip. My patience is monumental. I can't believe I haven't beaten the shit out of a nurse yet. I still somehow manage to say please and thank you. I'm so tired. I'm so sick of the long isolated days at the hospital. I want to be exhausted and isolated in my own home like normal new moms.

I really don't know how I'm going to last the week. I had dreams last night of getting lost in the hospital and of nurses locking my baby away from me. It's like I'm doing all of the work, but getting very very little of the reward.

Today is a low day. It will pass. This too will pass. I'll just keep reminding myself of this, hour to hour.

Comments

[queen-of-wands.livejournal.com]

*hugs* This is hard. You're doing an amazing job.

Can you get your loved ones in on the project of a little alone with baby time? Asking them to help you get that time even if it's just for a couple of hours could help them to feel special rather than unwelcome, and I'll bet there's are some errands they could run that would be useful to you.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Good thinking. It's all in the phrasing/re-framing, no?

[snowcalla.livejournal.com]

I have to say...you are my hero. I would going insane by now. I remember how it was when Justin was born. We had to stay a bit longer in the hospital and in Spain....they don't really let you be with your baby very much. You can see the baby when you are feeding him/her and that's about it.

[said-by-me.livejournal.com]

oh honey *hugs*

between sleep deprivation, constant stress and worry and hormone changes, its not surprise you are a mess

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

I know what you're going through--this happened to us too--and it's so hard. I'm sorry you have to experience it, and I hope Friday (or whenever homecoming day is) comes soon. Make sure someone makes sure you're eating enough, ok? That helps. :)

[ambar.livejournal.com]

You have the whole universe at your back.

*much love*

[seagull42.livejournal.com]

It does sound like you're doing all the right things - recognizing, talking about and taking care of what's going on inside of you, having patience and compassion for those who have no more control over this than you do, and keeping on doing what's needed, one day, or even one hour, at a time.

I know it's not the same thing... But I hate it when I know I've getting exactly what I want for my birthday - but the present shows up a few weeks early. So instead of it being something I can set out of my mind, the present is right there, reminding me that I can't have it quite yet...

Anyway - compassion, support, hugs 'n' love.

[baileywicked.livejournal.com]

Keep the faith-

[introducingyael.livejournal.com]

Big mama hugs.

[imp-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Aww, this post just brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine how impatient you must be. I'd be throwing stuff at the nurses by now.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Hey there! I just added you as a friend. I think it's awesome that you are so bold (ie, those photos!) on internet. I also checked out your blogspot blog. I see you're going to cloth diaper. So are we! It truly isn't the cloth diapering world of old! I'm very excited to get all my stuff together for that. the cloth_mentor community on LJ is pretty good for cloth questions.

Also, I'm usually up in Seattle once a year, though probably not this year! We'll have to hang when I next come up! Are you in Capital Hill? I used to live there and work at Bailey/Coy. Ah, Seattle.

[imp-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, Bailey/Coy Books. I love that place! I saw Dorothy Alison read there once. She made me blush!

I don't actually live in Capitol Hill, but I used to when I was younger, you know two years ago!! I didn't go too far though, I don't have to cross water to get there at least.

By all means give me a holler next time you're in Seattle, I'd be delighted to meet you!

I'm actually thinking of making my own cloth diapers and maybe selling them online. I sort of need to be sewing stuff all the time.