456 Don't Know St., Apt. # Dunno

I have reached a place of seeming serenity. I am a happy person bobbing around in a sea of confusion. It's an odd combo to be. I am freakishly capable and yet continue to second-guess myself regularly. I have decided not to pursue the PhD, but now what? I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. None.

I know that tonight the Future Governor of Alaska is cooking me dinner and we're gonna talk spirituality and Deep and Meaning Things. I know that spring is here.

After 3 decades of saying I'm not ambitious, I've come to realize that I am ambitious, I just don't know yet in which direction to focus my ambition. Someone come spin me blindfolded and we'll see where I end up.

I think also that when I don't like something I just walk away and opt out. Which makes me quite a happy person, surrounded by people I choose and things I like, but I'm not sure that's the most mature response in the world.

So, now that I have the clarity of what my issues are, what the hell do I do now?

I've been silent a lot lately, so something is brewing. It's been that kind of season.