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It's close to 1 AM. Bennett has finally - FINALLY - consented to sleeping. He had two half hour naps, passed out at 7.30, slept for two hours. I came to bed at 9.30 and my mere presence woke him up. It's like he's got special mama radar that functions eve in the heaviest of his sleeping. He would not go back to sleep.

Our night:
Nursing, snuggling, singing, bottle, repeat the first three. Headbutts, squirming, babbling, kicking. Swaddling, nursing, singing, stroking, bottle. Crying, flailing, hands and knees, chasing fairies (or something that he can see and I can't) up the wall, kicking Adam repeatedly in the upper extremities. Bottle, cuddling, stroking. Kicking, crying, laughing. Adam leaves for the couch. Sleeping! Crying, all fours, crawling, whacking head into wall. Light on, diaper change, nursing, cuddling. Screaming, sobbing, squirming, passing out. Sneaking out to pee..... AWAKE! Crying, snuggling, nursing. ASLEEP!

Peeing, water, snack, internet, bed.

OY.

Good thing I'll be fresh and rested for the portraits that we're getting taken tomorrow.

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I read this at the bottom of today's PostSecret and it makes me so mad. Oakland Kaiser is where I birthed Bennett and is 10 blocks from my house, maybe less. I find Kaiser to be fine, but only because I am healthy, educated and take charge. The letter below makes me so sad and angry.

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Super San Francisco day

I spent most of today in San Francisco on a "photo shoot." One of the friends that hosted B's birthday party is the photo editor at the SF Chronicle and wants to start branching out to portrait and wedding photography. To start a portfolio he asked Adam, Bennett and I to pose around various places in San Francisco. We mostly hung out around the Presidio area: a look out with the Bay in the back ground, Fort Point with the Golden Gate Bridge above us, the Presidio cemetery, and a little urban park in a place Adam likes to call the "secret heart of cool." I look forward to seeing the photos! I'm not known for being photogenic, but some good photos of us will be wonderful.

Afterward we all went to Burma SuperStar for dinner. SO TASTY. The calamari was hands down the best dish, but they also have this delicious okra and hard boiled egg curry. I know, it sounds weird, but it's yummy. And then we went to Fenton's for icecream, mostly because Fenton's was featured in Up (Pixar likes to include East Bay locales and nods in their films - woot!). The ice cream pushed me over the edge. I feel close to comatose. I don't think I'm into ice cream any more.