Nov. 26th, 2009

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I'm feeling better. No longer sick. THANK GOD. But now I face the struggle to get motivated for my work again. On one hand I'm ready to go - bring on social outings, long walks in the chill and the damp, play time with Bennett, etc. On the other hand, I want just a little more time to read novels, to soak in the quiet of the season. The short days, damp weather, dark evenings really make me want to slow down and sit with friends, not hole up and plunk out a paper.

I recognize this. I know that I need to get to work earlier in the mornings when it's light so I can get work out of the way and get home to snuggly boys and warm beverages. But, of course, I can always find one more reason for dragging my feet in the morning. Bennett's sleeping has taken a MASSIVE turn for the worse. 18 month sleep regression? I don't know, but he's nursing and fussing like he's 6 months old. And papa won't do, OH NO. He must have boob and mama's arms. So even after 12 hours in bed, I've probably only had 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

But I think right now I just want to be a mommy. I don't want to be a student. Not this week. Today I really don't care about degrees and mariology. I feel like my school work was really just the excuse to get here. I hope this feeling passes.

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theatokos

October 2010

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