A California day

[theatokos]

Today was a good California day. And an overall positive day in general.

At first, I was afraid it was going to be awful. I've been stressed out about the staff retreat I've been planning, which met today and finishes up tomorrow. I haven't felt focused and I feared that it would be a meandering waste of everyone's time. Bennett was off his usual schedule last night so I didn't get much sleep. To top it off, I had very weird, not happy dreams.

But it all worked out. Our retreat is happening at the UC Berkeley Faculty Club. It's a beautiful Mission? art deco? style building. (My architectural knowledge is next to non-existent) Wood paneling and vaulted ceilings. It's surrounded by trees, with little groves and fountains. Students pass near by. It's nice.

The retreat itself has been incredibly productive and the time flew by. I felt focused and got a lot more fired up for my job and participation in this organization. I like feeling important, productive and part of something innovative and respected.

During a break, walking around the grounds with Bennett (who was a freaking rock star today - he too sat through the retreat! Only two minor fusses, each alleviated with boob!), I thought about how beautiful it was today, how much I felt part of a team, how grateful I am that I'm growing professionally. I also thought about what I needed to keep living here.

I need to live in trees. I need to live in a greener, leafier part of the Bay (which means big money). I've got to get away from such busy, loud, smelly streets and find neighbors nearby. I want to be able to see people, know families, go over to people's houses for dinner on a whim or something. I think it's possible around here.... maybe?

I also know that I can't work at this organization forever. For one thing, I can only grow so much at this place. I am not Jewish nor a Jewish educator. I can only ever be the Director of Admin. Not that I necessarily want to run this particular organization, but after three years I've already maxed out. I take great pride in working for the Jewish community here, but it is not *my* community and I want to work for something I am more passionate about.

I don't think I can conceivably leave my job until the spring of 2010. I also don't want to put B in daycare, but I just don't see a way around that. Not yet anyway.

And I still don't know what to do about my degree or school.

But, for half an hour, I felt hopeful that maybe I could be happy here more often on a more permanent basis.

Comments

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

I waited until Sam was about 8 months old to put him in daycare. I had wanted to start him in part-time around 6 months, but it was impossible to find that type of arrangement around here. There's nothing wrong with putting it off as long as makes sense for you, anyway. :)

[hrafntinna.livejournal.com]

The Faculty Club is very nice. I think it's a California Arts-and-Crafts building, but I'm not sure. Glad you has a good day.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

No, there isn't anything wrong with daycare and I'm glad it exists. However, I will just lay out my bias here: in my perfect world kids wouldn't go to day care until they are at least 1 and we wouldn't have to have day care at all. I'd love to have some kind of loving, small cooperative style child care, where family (which isn't possible for us here, since we have none here) or good friends with kids share the childcare. That way the child is looked after by people who are already in his life and by people who are more invested in the little person's life.

Right now this vision isn't possible for me, but I remain hopeful that it might be.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I would love a house in that style. I originally thought it was art-and-crafts, but Adam thinks it's mission style. Whatever. I like it. Yesterday was the first day I felt professionally productive and competent since Benn was born.

[hrafntinna.livejournal.com]

Craftsman, dude. No way is that Mission.

Productive and competent is good. I'm going for that myself.

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

According to the architectural historian of the house, mission style falls within the arts & crafts movement. So you're both right. :)

[hrafntinna.livejournal.com]

That makes perfect sense. I still say this one's A&C but not Mission, even if Mission is a subset of A&C. Apparently, it was built by Bernard Maybeck, who also did the Palace of Fine Arts. The ever-accurate Wikipedia says he did both Mission and A&C.

I can't believe I just spent the time to find that out. Curse you, Internet!