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[personal profile] theatokos
Tired. Really tired. Did not make it to the Bluegrass Festival this weekend. I couldn't face the crowds and public transport with baby and diaper bag and no back support for breast feeding all day long.

I leave for Alaska on Sunday. It started snowing in Anchorage. Crap. I have no cold weather clothing anymore. And Bennett has none. Our first task upon landing will be to get ourselves to a consignment store.

The other night I had a dream that I was going to get a facial and when I looked in the mirror afterward my face was wrinkled and lined like a woman in her 70s. I think I feel old and I don't like it. My hair is thinning/falling out/turning grey. I have enormous matronly boobs. I miss my flat stomach. I'm always tired and I have little focus. Ah well.

Bennett is a delight, but he is so tiny. When I see other babies I get worried. He's starting to reach out for things. He puked down my cleavage tonight.

I have a lot of thoughts about the election and the issues at stake. Perhaps I'll write about them later. For right now I'll say that both candidates continue to lose my enthusiasm. I think the government/current administration/congress is a bunch of greedy corrupt insiders. I don't think Obama is much better than most of them. Maybe I'm just cynical.

My job is tedious. My executive director is a gigantic baby. He's a big ol' Eeyore. I'm tired of it. I want a leader who leads. I'm tired of trying to boost an organization that increasingly feels irrelevant, out moded and unwilling to do what it takes to be awesome, or pay the salaries necessary to get people who can make it fabulous. I stick around because it's been great for my resume, and I can get away with whatever I want. Like bringing the baby to work, showing up when I feel like it, and being the bossiest person in the organization. I like being bossy.

Date: 2008-10-07 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-december.livejournal.com
lol to B puking down your cleavage. I totally relate.

Date: 2008-10-07 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewigweibliche.livejournal.com
It's so comic, that when it happens I can't help but laugh.

Date: 2008-10-07 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msmidge.livejournal.com
Yesterday we took Sam to his 2-yr checkup and he has made it to the 25th percentile for weight--after basically 2 years of being in the 3rd or below. So the tininess may wear off for B. too!

And if your executive director is a giant baby, do you really want to have to deal with TWO giant babies if B. does start getting big? :P

Date: 2008-10-07 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewigweibliche.livejournal.com
Yay Sam! Right now I think B is in the .2% for weight. It'll be nice when he starts looking like a real boy - rather than a miniature fairy boy.

Ugh. Work. It keeps me up at night. It's so complicated and I honesty love my boss - not like, but truly love him - so it's hard to be so fed up with certain aspect of his personality. He is brilliant and amazing at most of his job, but his Eeyore attitudes hold us back and are hard to deal with. BLEH.

Date: 2008-10-07 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowcalla.livejournal.com
Keep your chin up.

Date: 2008-10-07 02:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewigweibliche.livejournal.com
Yeah, I'm trying. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now and I'm fighting kicking into martyr mode. Work is really dragging me down right now. But soon I will be in Alaska and all will be well. :)

Date: 2008-10-07 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowcalla.livejournal.com
I know how you feel. I get there too. Plus I do think that the stress of the election on everyone is pretty intense - combined with the stress of the economy and no one knowing what is the right thing to do.

Date: 2008-10-07 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lopezuna.livejournal.com
Eeyore! I love it! Sorry, not loving that you have to put up with a boss who is sometimes Eeyore, but that somebody else out there calls whiny people Eeyores. Cheer up about the tiny baby. Small is cute (especially in your case). I'm with team 1st percentile too (0.01st percentile for height, got a short fat midget on our hands). It's fun telling people that we have a newborn prodigy who is incredibly interactive and advanced.

Date: 2008-10-07 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ewigweibliche.livejournal.com
Ha! Yeah, I can see how saying we have a newborn would freak people out! He is awfully cute, I have to say. And you know, lugging around 10lbs is a lot easier than 15! He'll get there eventually. Our pediatrician is not concerned. She's happy to see steady, proportional growth. It's just me that gets the occasional twinge.

Date: 2008-10-07 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyartemisa.livejournal.com
that dream is scary.

i understand you missing the flat stomach... i got it back after kate.. right before i got pregnant again. it was awful.

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