I finally saw "Twilight"
Apr. 7th, 2009 09:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theatokosI am putting this behind a cut, because I am about to let fall some motherfucking rain on this Twilight parade.
I'm not sure where to begin. I've started this five times. My first reaction is "OH MY FUCKING GOD, THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN." Yes, it warrants all caps. Because I am screaming inside my head. But I know it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, nor the most offensive. It's on par with Sukiyaki Western Django - a prettily made, mostly incoherent, deliciously filmed, woman-hating waste of celluloid. Yes, I think Twilight is that bad. Sure, it's just some sparkly fantasy film, what's so wrong with that? This film (and probably the books too, but I couldn't get past the first 5 pages, the writing was so awful. High school students write better than Stephanie Meyer) ensnares women and makes them complicit in their own oppression. Oh yeah, this film is a tool of the patriarchy if ever there was one.
First, let's get the good things out of the way. The movie is beautifully shot. Holy crap, I'm moving to Forks. Right after I get back from Wales. Except Forks will be overrun with mopey teenage girls from here on out, so scratch that. The landscape was a silent character in this film, and I am grateful to the director (a woman, woot!) for capturing the beauty of the Pacific North West. This is my kind of landscape! Bring on the old growth, the high overcast skies, and 2 million different shades of grey and green! The high school students actually look like high school students and are nice. This story is not about stereotypical high school cliches. Saints preserve me, I get so bored with that stuff. Have I mentioned the movie is beautifully shot?
Ok, now to the stuff that sucks, in ascending order.
1) The film is narrated. Much of the narration is awful.
2) No continuity with vampire lore. I am aware that all vampire tales twist the "accepted" vampire traits (it's debatable that these even exist), but this one really did a number on the lore. A vampire movie in which the vamps can go out in daylight (but not direct sun - they SPARKLE), can be seen in mirrors, can enter houses with out permission and DON'T ACTUALLY BITE ANYONE is ludicrous.
But this is the least of the issues. I'm open to re-interpretation.
3) Plot issues. This story has some serious holes. What's the motivation for a self-made family of vampires to band together and become "vegetarian"? That's interesting! We never find out. Bella's mother and step-dad are driving around for spring training, but baseball season has already started. Worst of all, there is no buy in for us regarding the relationship or the action scenes near the end. The tension doesn't exist and is formulaic, as if Meyer thought "oh Edward and Bella will just be IRREVOCABLY drawn toward one another and that will be hot. Ooh, I need an action scene here." There's just nothing to invest in. Nothing.
4) Bella is morbidly bland. She smiles maybe twice in the film. I disliked her from the beginning. All those nice kids are being cool and she just mopes off. What's your damage, Bella? She acts like there's some big trauma in her life, but no. She's just unlikeable. AND SHE HAS NO THOUGHTS. When Edward says that she's the only person whose thoughts he can't read, I almost choked from laughter. (It's a good thing I didn't see this in the theatre or I'd have been that jack ass ruining the movie for all of you.) Of course he can't read her thoughts! SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
5) Which leads me to the worst, most insidious aspect of this film. Bella has no agency. She is a victim. She is a passive, mopey girl to whom things happen, who has men making decisions for her. As I wrote on my facebook update, abstinence porn is just another way of glorifying abusive relationships.
In several scenes Bella's father is sitting around while Bella is tidying up the kitchen or getting her father a beer.
This everygirl longs to be special, who doesn't? Every girl longs to be different, more special, unique, chosen by the hottest person in the school and made to feel safe and desirable. Sure. I get that. Me too. Still.
But Bella falls for mystery and good looks. What else is there to fall in love with? There is no relationship in this story. Hot guy tells her she has no thoughts. Hot guy tells her he's dangerous. "Oh but I'm not scared!" she cries, as they stand in a secluded forest location while he tells her of all the reasons she should stay away. But no. She wants danger. So far it's maddeningly formulaic and at best, the girl is vapid. But Bella continues to be helpless and passive. Edward's been stalking her for weeks, watching her sleep. During the big kiss scene he actually tells her to "be still, don't move." HE is going to kiss HER. When she gets turned on, he has to pull away. Good thing he has the strength to stop ("I'm stronger than I realized.") because she sure didn't! Men are strong and protective, women are weak and passionate. He is constantly protecting her from stuff she just doesn't understand.
But it gets worse. In the climax scenes, Bella is bleeding heavily, writhing like she's having an orgasm. (This is abstinence porn so the girl's gotta get some eventually, right? But she should suffer a little for it, don't you think?) The choice is for her turn into a vamp or remain human. Bella never gets to weigh in on what she wants, the men decide for her. Then in the hospital, Edward tells her where she should live. He can't control himself, he's nothing but trouble, SHE needs to leave. But no! He is her LIFE. She can't live without him!
And at prom, she tells Edward what she wants: to be a vamp and be with him forever. But he's got the control because she can't become a vamp with out him or his permission. He says no, "don't want to grow old with me?" Oh sure, she can wait.
Sounds like a controlling, abusive relationship to me.
Women every where are EATING THIS SHIT UP like it's fucking Shakespeare. This kills me.
A large part of me wishes I had never seen this movie. Seeing this movie made me love Let the Right One In even more.
I'm not sure where to begin. I've started this five times. My first reaction is "OH MY FUCKING GOD, THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN." Yes, it warrants all caps. Because I am screaming inside my head. But I know it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, nor the most offensive. It's on par with Sukiyaki Western Django - a prettily made, mostly incoherent, deliciously filmed, woman-hating waste of celluloid. Yes, I think Twilight is that bad. Sure, it's just some sparkly fantasy film, what's so wrong with that? This film (and probably the books too, but I couldn't get past the first 5 pages, the writing was so awful. High school students write better than Stephanie Meyer) ensnares women and makes them complicit in their own oppression. Oh yeah, this film is a tool of the patriarchy if ever there was one.
First, let's get the good things out of the way. The movie is beautifully shot. Holy crap, I'm moving to Forks. Right after I get back from Wales. Except Forks will be overrun with mopey teenage girls from here on out, so scratch that. The landscape was a silent character in this film, and I am grateful to the director (a woman, woot!) for capturing the beauty of the Pacific North West. This is my kind of landscape! Bring on the old growth, the high overcast skies, and 2 million different shades of grey and green! The high school students actually look like high school students and are nice. This story is not about stereotypical high school cliches. Saints preserve me, I get so bored with that stuff. Have I mentioned the movie is beautifully shot?
Ok, now to the stuff that sucks, in ascending order.
1) The film is narrated. Much of the narration is awful.
2) No continuity with vampire lore. I am aware that all vampire tales twist the "accepted" vampire traits (it's debatable that these even exist), but this one really did a number on the lore. A vampire movie in which the vamps can go out in daylight (but not direct sun - they SPARKLE), can be seen in mirrors, can enter houses with out permission and DON'T ACTUALLY BITE ANYONE is ludicrous.
But this is the least of the issues. I'm open to re-interpretation.
3) Plot issues. This story has some serious holes. What's the motivation for a self-made family of vampires to band together and become "vegetarian"? That's interesting! We never find out. Bella's mother and step-dad are driving around for spring training, but baseball season has already started. Worst of all, there is no buy in for us regarding the relationship or the action scenes near the end. The tension doesn't exist and is formulaic, as if Meyer thought "oh Edward and Bella will just be IRREVOCABLY drawn toward one another and that will be hot. Ooh, I need an action scene here." There's just nothing to invest in. Nothing.
4) Bella is morbidly bland. She smiles maybe twice in the film. I disliked her from the beginning. All those nice kids are being cool and she just mopes off. What's your damage, Bella? She acts like there's some big trauma in her life, but no. She's just unlikeable. AND SHE HAS NO THOUGHTS. When Edward says that she's the only person whose thoughts he can't read, I almost choked from laughter. (It's a good thing I didn't see this in the theatre or I'd have been that jack ass ruining the movie for all of you.) Of course he can't read her thoughts! SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
5) Which leads me to the worst, most insidious aspect of this film. Bella has no agency. She is a victim. She is a passive, mopey girl to whom things happen, who has men making decisions for her. As I wrote on my facebook update, abstinence porn is just another way of glorifying abusive relationships.
In several scenes Bella's father is sitting around while Bella is tidying up the kitchen or getting her father a beer.
This everygirl longs to be special, who doesn't? Every girl longs to be different, more special, unique, chosen by the hottest person in the school and made to feel safe and desirable. Sure. I get that. Me too. Still.
But Bella falls for mystery and good looks. What else is there to fall in love with? There is no relationship in this story. Hot guy tells her she has no thoughts. Hot guy tells her he's dangerous. "Oh but I'm not scared!" she cries, as they stand in a secluded forest location while he tells her of all the reasons she should stay away. But no. She wants danger. So far it's maddeningly formulaic and at best, the girl is vapid. But Bella continues to be helpless and passive. Edward's been stalking her for weeks, watching her sleep. During the big kiss scene he actually tells her to "be still, don't move." HE is going to kiss HER. When she gets turned on, he has to pull away. Good thing he has the strength to stop ("I'm stronger than I realized.") because she sure didn't! Men are strong and protective, women are weak and passionate. He is constantly protecting her from stuff she just doesn't understand.
But it gets worse. In the climax scenes, Bella is bleeding heavily, writhing like she's having an orgasm. (This is abstinence porn so the girl's gotta get some eventually, right? But she should suffer a little for it, don't you think?) The choice is for her turn into a vamp or remain human. Bella never gets to weigh in on what she wants, the men decide for her. Then in the hospital, Edward tells her where she should live. He can't control himself, he's nothing but trouble, SHE needs to leave. But no! He is her LIFE. She can't live without him!
And at prom, she tells Edward what she wants: to be a vamp and be with him forever. But he's got the control because she can't become a vamp with out him or his permission. He says no, "don't want to grow old with me?" Oh sure, she can wait.
Sounds like a controlling, abusive relationship to me.
Women every where are EATING THIS SHIT UP like it's fucking Shakespeare. This kills me.
A large part of me wishes I had never seen this movie. Seeing this movie made me love Let the Right One In even more.
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Forks
Date: 2009-04-08 10:39 am (UTC)Re: Forks
Date: 2009-04-08 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 12:34 pm (UTC)I love vampire stories (and naturally, have read a gazillion romance novels for work)....but for some reasons these books haven't held much appeal for me. I'm glad to hear I'm not missing out.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 02:03 pm (UTC)2. who cares? it's a silly movie.
3. they band together because they find it immoral to drink blood from humans and train themselves to kill animals instead. this was definitely addressed in the book and i thought it was touched upon in the movie.
4. bella's damage is that her mother. while very loving, is a complete fruit. she has intimacy issues and she's not very comfortable around people. perhaps she's shy as well? she always feels a bit like a outsider. [in the book there was a profound comment on this. her classmates are friendly to her because she's pretty. she realizes that she's standoffish and wonders why her prettiness is enough to draw people to her.]
5. i can't argue with this because i completely understand your reading of the movie, but i'm going to point out:
a. the fact that bella can't pull away from edward isn't a statement on her inferiority as a woman but a comment about how incredibly sexy vampires are [ha.] and how difficult it is to be a mere mortal around a vampire.
b. there's nothing wrong with protecting those you care about regardless of gender. perhaps i'd have a problem with this if he was a regular man and not a vampire. let's face it -- the vampires of meyers are far superior to mortals in their strength and are far more in tune with their surroundings. when spiderman saves mary jane we don't shout "victim!" same here. vampires=superheros.
c. her dad was lonely and skipped meals before she moved in. she's happy to make him dinner and take care of him. in turn, he takes care of her. *shrug*
d. edward is hundreds of year older. he's wiser and more aware of the world. bella is impulsive. he's watching out for her interests. i don't think it unreasonable to say "hey... i know you want to become one of the undead, but let's wait a bit, just so you're sure." sounds like a good plan to me! last thing i'd want is a vampire who'd make me undead while i'm in what is clearly a hyperemotional state. fyi: she gets her wish in the later books.
shakespeare's work is full of misogyny!
there's eating at a 5 star restaurant and than there's burger king. i wouldn't eat at burger king every day but on the very rare occasion that i do, i admit to enjoying it. you can disagree with me of course, but sometimes it's nice to enjoy a movie/book for its face value.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 05:38 pm (UTC)Points 3 and 4 were poorly done in the movie. Bella is not that pretty. She's no prettier than the other girls. Just new in a small town.
"It's just a silly movie, who cares?" ME. I care. I care because this shit is written by a woman for girls and it advocates an anti-feminist, damaging view of gender relations. Point a) I might be able to believe this if others were drawn Edward. This vampire aspect is actually underdeveloped in the film; the entire film is about their singular relationship. In the context of everything else, the vampire draw is negligible. Points b) and d) there isn't anything wrong with protecting those you love, but Bella is constantly the vapid, aimless, choiceless female. She makes it clear that she is enthralled and will do whatever Edward wants. If Edward is so much wiser than what the hell does he want with a thoughltess 17 yr old?
Go ahead and like it all you want, it's still terrible.
to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 07:48 pm (UTC)#4/a) the looks issue is purely subjective. imo, bella of the movie, while not stunning, was a beautiful girl. you can also read it the opposite way. bella is pretty but she's not gorgeous and yet edward feels very drawn to her [this is pushing it, of course]. in the book, he does think she's beautiful but it's made clear that it's not the only reason he feels a pull toward her. continuing with that, i agree that the vampire aspect is very much underdeveloped. there's no arguing that the movie fails miserably as a coherent whole and i think the producers relied heavily on a. the stupidity of their audience [this bothers me far more than anything said/implied in the movie and b. that the audience will have background knowledge of the book to rely on. the book is poorly written but it is better than the movie.
as for points b. and d. i disagree that bella was portrayed as a vapid, choiceless female. she is a female who is in love, fairytale style, and yes, she is willing to do anything for edward but that feeling is reciprocated by him, and thus, equal. asking her to wait before she decided to become a vampire does not adequately demonstrate to me that edward is not respectful of her decisions.
i remember reading a comment meyers made after constant accusations of being anti-feminist:
"I am all about girl power—look at Alice and Jane if you doubt that. I am not anti-female, I am anti-human. I wrote this story from the perspective of a female human because that came most naturally, as you might imagine. But if the narrator had been a male human, it would not have changed the events. When a human being is totally surrounded by creatures with supernatural strength, speed, senses, and various other uncanny powers, he or she is not going to be able to hold his or her own. Sorry. That’s just the way it is. We can’t all be slayers. Bella does pretty well I think, all things considered. She saves Edward, after all."
she's a HORRIBLE writer and i wish she's address that accusation ; anti-feminist however, imo it's a stretch.
there are far worse movies out there in terms of advocating damaging gender relations. i did my undergrad senior thesis on gender in cinema, particularly "she's all that" and "barbarella" -- what a goldmine those two movies are! and while "barberella" is a strange older movie, movies like "she's all that" continue to come out of hollywood every week. it's nauseating to see what young women are being exposed to in mainstream cinema and "twilight" doesn't come even remotely close to the worst of it.
Go ahead and like it all you want, it's still terrible. i will. the magical against-all-odds love aspect of it appeals to the thoughtless 17 year old in me. :D
Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 08:32 pm (UTC)I will not retract my firm belief that this is an anti-feminist movie. It is MORE damaging than "She's All That" - which was just another makeover movie, and those suck too. It is more damaging because of the veneer of independence that Bella has (ooh, she kicked a would be rapist in the balls, but is saved by Edward! Again) and because millions of girls are enthralled by this. But this film is not so different from the make over movies. Here, a bland (and pretty, yes) girl is made *something more* by the fact that the hottest guy in school chooses her.
Just because Stephanie Meyer claims to be feminist doesn't make her so. I find that most women these days have next to no grasp of that word anymore. Pole dancing is NOT a feminist statement. I don't care that it's mainstreamed as a gym work out. No, not everyone can be the Slayer - but why rehash fairy tales? Disney-esque fairy tales are also anti-feminist. Does the world really need another woman getting saved by a prince?
Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 08:41 pm (UTC)Any semblance of independance and strength that she has he takes away by being the knight in creepy ass shining armor with fangs.
Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-10 10:12 am (UTC)*Just because Stephanie Meyer claims to be feminist doesn't make her so. I find that most women these days have next to no grasp of that word anymore
YES!!!
Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 08:39 pm (UTC)I beg to seriously differ... I have not seen a modern movie be so completely ass backwards in a long time... and I have a degree in Film so I have studied movies for years and years... Disney isnt even this bad.
i did my undergrad senior thesis on gender in cinema, particularly "she's all that" and "barbarella" -- what a goldmine those two movies are! and while "barberella" is a strange older movie, movies like "she's all that" continue to come out of hollywood every week. it's nauseating to see what young women are being exposed to in mainstream cinema and "twilight" doesn't come even remotely close to the worst of it.
Shes all that is the typical wallflower meets hot guy story, tons of them come out on a regular basis and it is a very standard story but in none of those stories do the girls withstand creepy abusive and stalker behaviour from the guys. when the guys are assholes the girls (usually they are very smart/geeky types) wake up and smell the roses... leaving the guy to come after them and try to clean up his mess and get her back when he realizes that he actually likes her.
Edward is FUCKING CREEPY and he is controlling in a "psycho boyfriend that is going to stab me" way.
Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 08:56 pm (UTC)also, "wicker man" -- the entire movie is about nicholas cage running around in a bear suit punching women, and the original is only marginally better.
i'll finish this comment later.
Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 08:59 pm (UTC)that is the problem...
we know that women are eye candy in tons of movies... that is awful but its at least honest.
in twilight they are trying to pretend that she is strong... sort of... and taht part of her being so strong includes being saved by her creepy vampire boyfriend and withstanding what can be classified as stalking and abuse.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-09 01:02 pm (UTC)what about charlie's angels? 3 women women who know how to kick ass and yet... they're made into a caricature of silly women with nice tits.
there are many movies out there that are far more alarming and just as insidious as "twilight"
i also do not find edward to be creepy, not in the stalker/abuser way anyway. explain?
that's my 2 cents.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-09 01:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-09 01:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-09 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 04:30 pm (UTC)Re: to play devil's advocate.
Date: 2009-04-08 10:57 pm (UTC)Those movies and trends you mention are deplorable, but the insidiousness of this film is what makes it worse.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 10:18 am (UTC)Er... you did, albeit in a 'shift the words around' sort of a way.
I copy & paste from your original comment: 2. who cares? it's a silly movie.
And with respect - the book (I haven't seen the film) is far from being simply 'silly' - it's dangerous. We live in a world gone mad, where men still believe they can have power over women & get away with abusing them.
That's it actually - Twilight is abusive...
no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-11 10:51 am (UTC)This feels a little like nit-picking, but if I have upset you, then I apologise unreservedly. I prefer to play nice on other people's journals :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-11 01:05 pm (UTC)no worries. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 04:32 pm (UTC)and with respect, on the issue of "twilight", i disagree.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 08:46 pm (UTC)i think its going to become a cult classic, how can it not with "SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA".
no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 10:09 am (UTC)Go you! I'm simply slipping in & out of this whole Twilight thing because I'm too busy to get stuck in. And in any case, you appear to be saying it all for me!
Twilight sucks. It's misogynist in the extreme.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 07:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 10:21 am (UTC)Yes! Who are you! The world (er... LJ...) needs to know!
If we're going to debate feminism (& this really is a feminist discussion, girlfriends) let's at least have the courage of our convictions!
(
no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 03:53 pm (UTC)Hello,
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 02:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 05:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-10 10:22 am (UTC)Double YES!!!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 08:03 pm (UTC)You should've seen me when I watched this. Rrrrrgh. Horrible. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE GODDAMMIT. And the only interesting character to me was Carlisle, who gets almost no screentime. Feh.
When Edward was all "This is the SKIN! of a KILLER!" and Bella says, "I think it's beautiful!" I was all, "and I think it's STUPID!"
The women on my team at work all love the books (except our manager, who hasn't read them yet) and it makes me want to throw things at them.
There are some fantastic Twilight-bashing / Twilulz links here (http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/19551.html), which I highly recommend. :) The recaps are not to be missed.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-09 04:52 pm (UTC)I'll just say that you do not want to move to forks. It has zero economy and rains about as much as Ketchikan. This may seem appealing while you're living in the Bay area but that place is bad (beautiful, though). I say stick with Olympia or Port Angeles if you want to be on the Penninsula. :-)
Content wise-I feel like there are all kinds of things women embrace, which seems nonsensical to me. This is another example. Have you seen the movie Friends of God? It's great, I highly recommend, but I had to take a couple of breaks when I was freaking out at a couple points. Once when they were showing children being brainwashed in "creationism" and another where a woman had given up everything she had wanted in life for the weird "woman's place" thing with her husband and 10 children. Yikes.
As for reading the book...I say no. Remember how you felt after reading the Da Vinci Code? This will be like that but more abstinence porn and about a million times as long!!
PS-I have not forgotten to call you! :-)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-09 06:01 pm (UTC)