(no subject)

[theatokos]

My father is truly a jerk. To be polite. And it's good to get corroboration about that fact too. From inside my tiny family bubble I sometimes wonder if I'm being too subjective, placing my expectations of what parents should be unfairly upon them, not seeing his point of view, etc., but I am tired of making excuses for unsupportive, unkind, disappointing and down right RUDE behaviour. No more. If my best friend, who is the most diplomatic person ever and has taught me to pick my battles, says that it's time to give my dad a talking to, then it's probably time.

I talked to my dad yesterday for fathers day and I mentioned that I was seeing a good friend from college whom I'd not seen in two years. My dad has met him over the years and asked all kinds of questions, passed along his regards..... did not ask after Adam, the man I brought home a week ago. It is absurd. And hurtful. And disrespectful.
I guess the step after disappointment is anger, and I'm right on schedule.

Happy solstice.

Comments

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

ugh, i am so sorry you are dealing with this. maybe your father and my father could get together and celebrate national avoidance day. it will involve lots of hiding their heads in the sand and saying dumb things.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

My dad and family in general are not overly welcoming people, but I thought the biological male factor would inspire some conversation, at least. It's like bringing home a girl all over again. Dad could barely look Carly in the eyes, even after we'd been living together for 2 years. And she even liked power tools, construction, etc etc.

But how do you tell your father that he's been selfish and hurtful and not get the selfish and ungrateful talk thrown right back at you?

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

But how do you tell your father that he's been selfish and hurtful and not get the selfish and ungrateful talk thrown right back at you?

that sounds really tough and i really don't think i'm qualified to give advice to anyway, regardless of what i'm going through. but with my own parents i've come to realize that i can point out how they are responding is unhelpful, and i can choose to realize that their rudeness and accusations have no real reflection on how i'm acting, but i can't stop them from being horribly defensive. just because my mother says i am being selfish when i don't act as she wants me to, doesn't mean that i am. slowly, very slowly, this has taken the sting away for me.