All it feels like I do is whine these days

[theatokos]

I have a head cold. I had the shakes when I went to sleep last night, but THANK YOU JESUS Bennett slept like rock (a baby rock), so until my sinuses blocked up completely and I became a mouth breather I slept quite well. Bennett is full of energy this morning. I must leave the house if I want to rest or read. Really I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep some more, but I think having a kid has effectively rendered that wish null and void.

I need to take a shower. I could just pull the hair back and not care. I need to study. My office will be conducive to that. I need to find about about this fees thing, maybe it can wait one more day? That's really stressing me out. I am so stressed out about money these days. What I think would be really helpful is a big fat cry, but crying just doesn't come easily to me. It's such a good release. I'm trying not to beat up on myself - I'm really proud of how much money I saved before I moved here. I'm proud of how Adam's business is coming along. I'm proud of the smart steps we've taken to manage our debt and be frugal. I'm proud of the tasty nutritious meals I'm making on very little money. But forgetting to budget in the break in business over Christmas and this fees fiasco may just be our undoing. I'm really, really not ready to leave Wales, so I hope it doesn't come to that.

Comments

[snowcalla.livejournal.com]

I hope you are able to find your way through this, too! Perhaps the U is willing to work with you a bit? Or there will be some other alternatives? Or Adams business will pick up even more?

[(Anonymous)]

Deep breathes sis, Deep breathes! I hear your pain about money, about wanting to just go back to bed, or not have to get up so early and get kiddos off to school, in my case. You have a roof over you head, and food on the table so your okay. That's what I keep telling myself. It's hard to do in this consumer fueled world of ours to be happy with just the necessities in life. It takes constant mental checks. But if you can block out all the "noise", you'll be okay.

I know this is hard for you, but don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing fantastic. Bennett is amazing, yes difficult at times, but that's becuause you're doing a good job of developing that brain of his. School is progressing. Adam is providing. And life is flowing. So deep breathes and keep reminding yourself of all the good.

[sapphire-kittum.livejournal.com]

Are you considering moving if money gets to tight. That would be so sad!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Actually, if we have to move we have no money to do so. Conundrum!