I challenge myself to a duel

[theatokos]

I've been thinking about singing lately. A lot. I sang a British folk tune at Feast Bay on Saturday. Not too shabby, except for the damn forgetting of lyrics. I was extra nervous due to many new faces. But I soldiered through by making up shit as I went a long. Then of course there's the whole talking about my process, which hasn't changed in years. Poor regular Feasters have to hear me talk - again- about how I studied opera once upon a time, was training to be a coloratura soprano, am dealing with my creative blocks, blah blah blah. I'm tired of repeating this. Who cares if I used to sing opera? I don't anymore.

However. I think about "formal" singing. I do miss it. But I'm also wary of the snobbery, my perfection issues and the anxiety they provoke, and all of the baggage from my singing past. I think the only thing that would get me back into private lessons or formal singing would be singing for a good - a really good - choir. Not some half-assed deal. So I called the grammy winning San Francisco Symphony Chorus to find out about auditions. If it's anytime before January it'll be a no-go, but anytime after that and it's on.

Anxiety and creative block be damned.

If only my whole apartment building didn't have to hear me practice.

Update: It is on, folks. The SF Symphony Chorus called me back. All 200 of them, at once. Auditions are in late spring. I now have something to work toward. I don't know how I'll integrate "formal" singing, but I'll find a way. It's time. (ohmygod, I'm really excited.)

Comments

[erinya.livejournal.com]

*cheers*

Good for you!!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Go me! Aaaaaahhhhh...... excitement and panic sometimes feel like the same thing, right?

[ginger-root.livejournal.com]

wow! congratulations! coloratura! awesome word! exclamation points!

!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Well, there's nothing to congratulate me on yet. All that lays ahead of me is work. But they are really good, totally worthy of exclamation points.

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

It's time. (ohmygod, I'm really excited.)

that's really wonderful, i'll cross my fingers for you in late spring.*g* it's great that you were so proactive about this, that can be the hardest thing when we have creative blocks about something.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

It was just one of those inspiration things. My assistant mentioned something about the SF Mozart chorus and I looooove Mozart, so I looked them up. They don't exist, though there is Bach chorus. Enh. And then I realized that I had gotten excited about a choir, even if it was imaginary. And then I just had this great internal push and I called the SF Symph chorus. It's a little nerve wracking to post about it - if I don't get in my ego will be all sheepish. But we'll see, right? In any case, it'll give me something to work toward. Plus, holy cow, if I *do* get to sing with them..... ohmygod.

[goddessofmercy.livejournal.com]

if I don't get in my ego will be all sheepish. But we'll see, right? In any case, it'll give me something to work toward. Plus, holy cow, if I *do* get to sing with them..... ohmygod.

i think just trying and putting yourself out there is a big triumph. but getting in...that would be amazing.

[ctiee.livejournal.com]

My former neighbor sang in the San Francisco Symphony Chorus, I used to hear her singing in her apartment.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Is this supposed to make me feel better? I'm really grateful that you aren't my neighbor (only for this reason) - your knowledge of singing is intimidating. Do you have any opinions of the SF Symph Chorus?

[ctiee.livejournal.com]

I have heard very nice things about them and I suppose I have heard them sing Beethoven's Ninth, and they were good. That's the thing about a chorus, you only really notice when they are bad. Or at least, I do.

You shouldn't be intimidated, you sing far better than I ever could. It's easy to criticize, more difficult to actually perform.

[hrafntinna.livejournal.com]

She sings! Excellent. I'm very much in favor of this.

Me, I just strained myself trying to keep up with the fab singer of Garmarna doing a neat ballad. I think I should get some Billy Bragg albums. Not only is he really good, but I won't hurt myself singing along.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

Not hurting oneself is crucial. I just got the info for auditions in the mail - the general info. Super intimidating. Good thing I have 8 months to prepare.

[alizarin71.livejournal.com]

There are, for the record, worse things than hearing a neighbor singing. Good job and good luck!