My frightening need for PLANS

[theatokos]

This is for all those who are parents, especially those who are stay at home parents, whether that's one day a week or full time. I need your experience and advice.

Today is a particularly off day for me, because I'm tired: it's been a busy week at work and last night had me at work (with B) unexpectedly for 5 hours. Then, I hit the grocery store and came home to roast a chicken for the potluck we hosted. I was beat and remain so today. I don't want to do anything expect veg out. But I have a baby who doesn't play by himself - sometimes he will for at most 10 minutes. Being held, touching and eye contact, are his most favorite things ever. I love this about Bennett, but I can hardly get anything done - either home-wise or personally.

When I introduced All About Bennett Thursdays, this was a revelation. A day wholly about Bennett was a load of fun, but I knew that it was only once a week. For one day I could go completely according to B's patterns and desires. Super fun and actually pretty easy.

But I can't do that every day. One, because stuff needs to get done, and two, because I am freakish about Plans. I don't like this about myself, but I will say it is what keeps me organized and way more productive than a lot people. I'm doing a better job at lightening up on things like the a perfectly clean house, but this having a baby gig is revealing the depth of my neuroses.

My questions: For those of you at home with your kids, particularly babies, what do you do? Do you create a schedule? I assume toddlers might thrive on this, but what about babies? How do you meet your needs AND do stuff around the house? There are naps, but if I work through all of those I feel WIPED OUT at the end of the day. Do you have help? Either a nanny/mother's helper? Do you have a house keeper?

I think I'm asking the big parenting question: how does one take care of responsibilities, meet one's own needs, AND provide a rich, loving, interactive space for one's child?

Personally, I think having Bennett is a tremendous spiritual practice in letting go and re-prioritizing. My previous post of being on fire relates. I feel like if I am all about Bennett all the time my life will burn down to the ground entirely and I'll live in filth, be crazy, friendless, and hungry.

Comments

[teamrose.livejournal.com]

We're all a little crazy and living in a little bit of filth can't be *that* bad.

I'm a planner as well and I always have been, this is what works for me and keeps me from losing my mind. Like others have mentioned, you learn to let go. I have let go quite a bit, however, I can't say that I would completely let go or that it would be healthy to do so!

I still have my lists and plan things out, but really I've learned to plan loosely and not freak out when things get pushed off to the next day. I place little sticky notes on the fridge to remind myself we need to replace a certain grocerie, I throw clothes in the washer (through out the day) and start it at night before bed, I fold clothes and leave them stacked neatly on the table until R is available and puts them away or I tuck em away when Sophie naps.

I've learned to utilize naps but not just for work. When Sophie falls out I get up and do a quick 10-15 minute clean up, when the time goes off I sit down and watch a show, look on LJ, clip my nails, drink some tea, or read a quick chapter of a book I've been longing to finish (gahh, to get through a book in one day...), anything that is just for me. This is helpful and keeps me from feeling swamped but I do get things done and manage to not loose myself in the meantime.

I have become the master of funny noises and faces which keep Sophie entertained while I brush my teeth, wash my face, get dressed do my hair, or make the bed. Wearing her keeps her satisfied while I do errands and then when she's out I have more me time. Also, have you seen the Wiggle Worm Play Gym? Here's (http://www.geniusbabies.com/wiggle-worm-gym-infantino.html) a link! They have a zillion activity play mats on this site and they are all wonderful! I would totally look into getting one, if I were you. Sophie really doesn't entertain herself either but she loves the wiggle worm gym and we can get a good 25 minutes of her having (educational, brain stimulating fun!) fun.

[teamrose.livejournal.com]

Also, we have no *real* schedule, mainly because I find it hard to get her on a schedule that works for both of us and isn't interrupted by daily outings. Plus, I find it easier and more beneficial for Sophie and I parent on demand - following her cues for when it's nap time, feeding time, changing time, play time. I just can't scheudle in what she will want and when. However, for a toddler (in my personal experience) I have noticed schedules make it easier, and they enjoy knowing how their day is going to go and what to expect. Plus they are usually down to one nap a day so that's the ony time you really have to schedule around..and yaddayaddayadda.