(no subject)

[theatokos]

It's close to 1 AM. Bennett has finally - FINALLY - consented to sleeping. He had two half hour naps, passed out at 7.30, slept for two hours. I came to bed at 9.30 and my mere presence woke him up. It's like he's got special mama radar that functions eve in the heaviest of his sleeping. He would not go back to sleep.

Our night:
Nursing, snuggling, singing, bottle, repeat the first three. Headbutts, squirming, babbling, kicking. Swaddling, nursing, singing, stroking, bottle. Crying, flailing, hands and knees, chasing fairies (or something that he can see and I can't) up the wall, kicking Adam repeatedly in the upper extremities. Bottle, cuddling, stroking. Kicking, crying, laughing. Adam leaves for the couch. Sleeping! Crying, all fours, crawling, whacking head into wall. Light on, diaper change, nursing, cuddling. Screaming, sobbing, squirming, passing out. Sneaking out to pee..... AWAKE! Crying, snuggling, nursing. ASLEEP!

Peeing, water, snack, internet, bed.

OY.

Good thing I'll be fresh and rested for the portraits that we're getting taken tomorrow.

Comments

[readthisandweep.livejournal.com]

At the risk of sounding like a know-all & somewhat old fashioned, IMHV a baby sleeps far better (& by default, so do the parents) if s/he sleeps in her/his own bed. It can be in the same room (although not necessaryly; just needs to be calm & peaceful.)

Perhaps you might consider weaning Bennett? Contrary to popular mythology, they don't do it themselves! A baby will breast feed until it's ten if you allow the practice. If you leave it too late, you may find yourself in a situation where it becomes traumatic & disturbing for both of you to achieve.

Bennett's sleep patterns are normal ~ it's frustrating for you but is about his energy levels unfortunately & not yours! And of course he woke when you came to bed ~ he's sharing it!

The chaotic night-time pattern of behaviour you describe is almost certainly to do with testing your boundaries. Unless you create some very clear ones, you will find it virtually impossible to break this cycle. And if Bennett's night-time activity is driving your husband to the couch, maybe it's time to address this issue?

Even small babies require & indeed thrive, on discipline. So long as they are loved & secure, it will work.

Don't fall into the trap of believing the lie that women who wean their children at a year to eighteen months old, or who encourage them to sleep alone are bad mothers. They aren't. They are wise ones, developing sensible habits which benefit everyone & which introduce the rudiments of independence.

Feel free to ignore me :)

[miss-malloreee.livejournal.com]

*I agree with previous comment*

However, is he teething? or getting a cold or something? usually B is a very content baby right? Maybe he's going through a growth spurt... or maybe it is time for other changes... babies are always switching it up, maybe he is telling you he ready now for his own sleeping space.

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I wonder about the teething or something. His waking is getting much better and I've found him to be especially restless right as big develop jumps occur. He is not usually like this!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

He woke as soon as I entered the room. He doesn't wake when Adam enters and he's much louder than me!

We tried moving B to his own bed two months ago. Not pretty. I have no desire to try that again. It will happen, eventually.

I don't think that B is ready to wean either. I don't think that women who wean after a year are bad mothers, nor those who don't bed share. B sleeps much better with us, LJ post not withstanding. B is very independent and has no fear of strangers at all, weaning will have nothing to help with there.

I also firmly believe that you can't make any one sleep. You can assist them to calm down, you can create an environment that facilitates sleep - effectively teaching tools to help them put themselves to sleep - but you can't make any one sleep. If I had stuck B in a place all by himself that wouldn't have helped him to sleep, it would have only frightened him.

I *was* frustrated last night, and that's ok.

[seaivy.livejournal.com]

I wasn't going to say anything but....
I agree totally with Readthisanweep.
Bennett is no longer an infant. He needs to know boundaries. You are not an extension of his needs and fulfillment as a mother is with an infant.
He is his own person. He needs his own space.
The longer you wait to give him his bed and wean him the harder it is going to be. Change is never easy. Right now HIS bed IS your bed. And Your Breast is HIS comfort. He is totally in charge.
You are the adult and the parent. You really need to reclaim your space and your body.
Good luck and Blessings

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I disagree. Kids WILL move into their own beds when they are ready and they will wean themselves. Stories of 6 year olds still breastfeeding are not the norm. I hope to breastfeed for another year. But if he weans (and some days it feels like he might) then so be it. I know many mothers of children who weaned and moved out of the family bed on their own with out any fuss. To wean and move Bennett now would be traumatic for us all. Some nights are hard, but most nights are sweet and peaceful. Perhaps I need to post about those?

I do recognize that I am in charge and I parent as though I am, but imposing my will on the instinctual needs of my baby does not interest me. There are going to be plenty of instances when this will be necessary, but I don't think it is yet. Wanting to be near me, having excessive energy, wanting comfort and to nurse are not inappropriate or "wrong" in any way, just inconveniencing. I'm ok with being inconvenienced by my son. Honestly, having a kid is inconveniencing and taxing period, but that's what I signed up for!

[mindycl.livejournal.com]

when Mendy refuses to sleep, I let him stand in his bed and cry for 2-3 minutes. then he's ready to nurse again and usually falls asleep.

[blessed-oak.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm visiting through readthisandweep's friends page...

Anyway, all three of mine weaned themselves. The oldest was three, the second was two, and quit when the milk changed to colostrum before the third one was born. And the third just about made it to a year before he quit.

As for the bed, ours is a waterbed, so I just put the babies down at night in the same place they napped during the day -- their bassinet/crib. Co-sleeping was only occasional, and it was in a regular twin bed in the baby's room. As a SAHM, time to myself was precious! ;)

Hi!

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

For the first four or five months B slept in a moses basket which was where he napped, but then he started wanting to sleep with us. He wouldn't go back down and only slept in arms, so I brought him to bed with us.

Re: Hi!

[blessed-oak.livejournal.com]

He sounds a lot like my oldest! She wanted to be held 24/7, and if she woke and found she wasn't in arms, she demanded to be picked up! I got very good at laying her down gently in her crib, but usually it took several tries before she stayed asleep in there.

You can imagine my surprise with baby #2, when I laid her down once so I could go to the bathroom, and instead of screaming the whole time, she just quietly fell asleep!