Rape is never the victims fault

[theatokos]

Women say some rape victims should take the blame

WHAT? I don't even need to read this entire article to know that women have internalized the hateful misogony of the patriarchy and suffer from self-loathing ideology. Why do women hate each other like this? Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. Even if you're comatose from drinking or you're walking naked down the street. Women make loads of stupid decisions all the time. And there are other consequences of the above actions: alcohol poisoning and the flu, perhaps. But rape? It is not a man's duty to 'punish' me for my stupid actions. Women and men may judge women who make stupid choices and think 'they got what they deserved', but that's not what it is about is it? No. It's about men thinking women are sex objects, that any woman who is passive enough is theirs for taking, that women are sub-human and do not have the dignity that men have. In cases of rape the blame is ALWAYS on the assailant. It is the perpetrator who cannot keep his hands (and other bits) to himself. It is HIS lack of self-control and his lack of honor for other living creatures.

I was date raped when I was 20. I take responsibility for my stupidness. I acknowledge that I was weak and had poor boundaries. I did not report it because it was so.... murky. I was up for fooling around. I was not up for sex. I said no. He didn't listen. We were in my bed. Am I to blame? If you say yes, defriend me right now.

Comments

[seaivy.livejournal.com]

I am still concerned that in the quest for autonomy and self expression young women are ignoring the reality that young men will read their self expression as an invitation to sexual "liberties". Is it fair? No. Is it real ? LOL Silly question. So what are young women going to do about it? Cave in and be "good girls"? Do what they want and risk? What choices are young women making?
When is clothing "provocative"? What is a woman's responsibility if she wears it?
What activities are possibly dangerous? How does a young woman know and what does she do about it?
Since this is mainly about "date-rape" what is the responsibility of institutions - school community - to "protect" women? Does asking for protection put us back to "Victorian times"
Is there reality in strict Patriarchal religious taboos? You bet they are unfair. But is a burqa necessary if you live in Afghanistan?

There is a difference between men who are compelled to attack women they do not know and men who take advantage of women they do know. It has been discussed that in the first case rape is not sexual but a crime of hostility/rage directed toward a woman. But if a young man does not take no for an answer is that hostility or hormones? In both cases a woman is hurt and traumatized.

There are many questions to this issue. But whatever it is called it is a woman's issue. She is always the victim of a physical assault.