Rape is never the victims fault
Feb. 15th, 2010 02:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theatokosWomen say some rape victims should take the blame
WHAT? I don't even need to read this entire article to know that women have internalized the hateful misogony of the patriarchy and suffer from self-loathing ideology. Why do women hate each other like this? Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. Even if you're comatose from drinking or you're walking naked down the street. Women make loads of stupid decisions all the time. And there are other consequences of the above actions: alcohol poisoning and the flu, perhaps. But rape? It is not a man's duty to 'punish' me for my stupid actions. Women and men may judge women who make stupid choices and think 'they got what they deserved', but that's not what it is about is it? No. It's about men thinking women are sex objects, that any woman who is passive enough is theirs for taking, that women are sub-human and do not have the dignity that men have. In cases of rape the blame is ALWAYS on the assailant. It is the perpetrator who cannot keep his hands (and other bits) to himself. It is HIS lack of self-control and his lack of honor for other living creatures.
I was date raped when I was 20. I take responsibility for my stupidness. I acknowledge that I was weak and had poor boundaries. I did not report it because it was so.... murky. I was up for fooling around. I was not up for sex. I said no. He didn't listen. We were in my bed. Am I to blame? If you say yes, defriend me right now.
WHAT? I don't even need to read this entire article to know that women have internalized the hateful misogony of the patriarchy and suffer from self-loathing ideology. Why do women hate each other like this? Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. Even if you're comatose from drinking or you're walking naked down the street. Women make loads of stupid decisions all the time. And there are other consequences of the above actions: alcohol poisoning and the flu, perhaps. But rape? It is not a man's duty to 'punish' me for my stupid actions. Women and men may judge women who make stupid choices and think 'they got what they deserved', but that's not what it is about is it? No. It's about men thinking women are sex objects, that any woman who is passive enough is theirs for taking, that women are sub-human and do not have the dignity that men have. In cases of rape the blame is ALWAYS on the assailant. It is the perpetrator who cannot keep his hands (and other bits) to himself. It is HIS lack of self-control and his lack of honor for other living creatures.
I was date raped when I was 20. I take responsibility for my stupidness. I acknowledge that I was weak and had poor boundaries. I did not report it because it was so.... murky. I was up for fooling around. I was not up for sex. I said no. He didn't listen. We were in my bed. Am I to blame? If you say yes, defriend me right now.
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 10:35 pm (UTC)Maybe because there's not much to say about women hating women. Yeah, that's sad. And it happens a lot. We can all agree on that. Rape is bad. We can all agree on that. Survivor-blaming is terrible and compounds the initial violation of the rape. I don't think anyone here has disagreed with your premise. We can all be angry about that, but for me at least, anger makes me tired. There's just too much for me to be angry about right now, personally and politically. I guess I'd rather talk theory and problematize and challenge existing paradigms with the hope of creating some new ones. Maybe that's my bad, my defense mechanism, and I should have kept it to myself or taken it to my own journal.
It sounds like you're upset about how the discussion proceeded, so I'm sorry if I contributed to that. I know I can be dogmatic and pushy when I get ahold of an idea that interests me. I was told a long time ago that arguing with me was like arguing with a brick wall, and it's probably still true.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-17 09:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-17 09:40 am (UTC)IDK, I think I was kind of faily in this discussion, the more that I think about it. :-P I've been doing that a lot lately. Think it means I should shut up and listen more.