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(Btw, what does keypike reference?)

This morning the fog was so thick I could barely see across the field in front of my house. It didn’t clear until close to noon. The spring day is delicious. I appreciate the lift in my mood and bounce in my step that spring brings. Eventually summer will set in and I really won’t want to spend anymore time than I have to in my office. For now, though, it is working to my benefit.

I’ve started meeting some of the other postgrad students here for a coffee a few mornings a week. They are mostly anthropology and archeology students. The men seem far more socially awkward and stereotypically nerdy than the women. It is nice to chat with other students and learn a little something about fields outside of my own. In theology and religious studies here there are mainly Koreans studying Biblical studies and Malaysians doing Islam studies. 90% seem to have families and keep to themselves. Honestly, I don’t mind not talking with the Biblical studies students. I really don’t understand how there can possibly be anything new to say about the Book of Mark or 2 Corinthians, etc. Unless one approaches the books with a modern, cutting edge ideology, I just don’t care. I try to avoid the bible as much as I possibly can.

In general I feel clueless about my own work. I cannot speak intelligently about my topic, ideas or methodology. I was asked at one of these coffee mornings what my methodology was and I replied, “read a lot, do some thinking, write some stuff down, read some more.” That elicited a blank look. Not quite what the guy had in mind.

Adam is meeting some of the Islamic mothers and kids at the Family Centre, which I think is neat. Next week we are going to a birthday party at Nigerian Muslim family’s house. The mum is really bright and cheery, and beautiful. We discovered first hand the racial difference in visa applications: Her husband is a student and they have to apply every year. She was shocked that I was given a three-year visa. I felt bad for a second or two – ashamed a little for myself and how my whiteness benefits me, frustrated for her and her family, who are upstanding and hard working and have to deal with the Home Office every single year, and angry that we live in a racist world. And then I got over it. It is beyond my control.

So reading. I am currently reading Sergius Bulgakov’s ‘The Burning Bush: on the Orthodox Veneration of the Mother of God.’ I was just loaned ‘Introducing Thealogy: Discourse on the Goddess’ so I’ll dive into that next. At home I’m reading a poetry volume, Victor Anderson’s ‘Thorns of the Blood Rose.’

Dinner tonight is lasagne and wine. I’m also making refried beans for Sunday brunch: we’re having friends up for heuvos rancheros. YUM.
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Couple's Retreat is an AWFUL movie. Do not watch, even if you're looking for something light and funny. It's not funny. Just bad. Not even bad funny.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is good fun.

Pizza, wine, and brownies cannot be beat for a lazy weekend meal.

I'm finally reading Ronald Hutton's Triumph of the Moon and it is blowing my mind.

I can't get enough of Sarah Haskins. And I watched this 18 minute Jamie Oliver talk that was great. Jamie Oliver is hot, as well as a bit of a twat, and also right on about food.

My son is so fantastic I can hardly stand it.

Spring is just around the corner.
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syzygy.

Inspired by [livejournal.com profile] keypike
Today Adam is generally irritable and I seem to be triggering it. I seem to do this regularly. Bennett is napping. I read for 4 hours straight today. I finished this, read this for fun, read about 100 more pages from this, and some other stuff.

Then I tried to look for good quality blankets in this town and couldn't find any. But a friend is going to loan us a nice wool blanket. I'm tired of freezing all night long and spending a fortune on heating the bedroom all night long when it doesn't do much good. Grumble grumble. The weather can't decide if it wants to snow properly or not.

For dinner tonight I am making mac n cheese, but we're going to add some jalepenos and see what happens.

I'm not doing too well on this no tea or coffee Lenten thingy.
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I'm 2/3 of the way through The Politics of Breastfeeding. The author is at her best when discussing the social history of breastfeeding and the rise of the formula companies. The snark present when talking about women and choices is absent. It's worth reading these chapters. The back of the book has a quote comparing this book to Fast Food Nation at al, and this is where I can see the comparison.

If a mother has a healthy baby, adequate sanitation, access to clean water and reliable refrigeration, using formula is relatively fine. I think anyone reading this knows that. However, the vast majority of the profit of formula companies comes from the developing world, where women do not have the last three very important components for making formula. The evidence the author documents is HORRIFYING. For example, Nestle, until the 80s had a practice of dressing up saleswomen in Africa as nurses and sending them round hospitals and clinics encouraging women who had just given birth to use Nestle formula. The women believed that medical professionals had given them advice based on their personal situations. In Nigeria, which had had a good/low infant mortality rate thanks to a history of breastfeeding, medical professionals had to come up with a new name for the formula-induced diarhhea that started killing babies en masse. The aggressive ad campaigns used in Africa were deliberately misleading - particularly if you were a relatively uneducated woman in a developing country.

It makes me ILL to think that I supported this industry, albeit in a small way. I will work doubly hard to not need even the slightest amount of formula next time around.* More and more I really believe that the Medical-Industrial Complex** hates women and children. How else could formula companies so blatantly disregard the lives of these babies? Another example: between 1978-79 a formula brand took out all the salt from its recipe, causing many babies to suffer from problems brought on by lack of sodium chloride. After the case went to court in the US, the company won approval from the USFDA to 'donate' the recalled formula to the Third World.

So.... Hi. A happy, uplifting post to start your weekend.


*I hope by now everyone knows that I feel very differently about mothers who cannot breastfeed, and I recognize that your politics may not be my politics.

**Patriarchal in general, for though there are doubtless women who work for these companies, it is historically the work of men who created and continue these practices. And I don't think that all men are complicit in this.
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Bennett's communication is exploding. In the last 24 hours he has said, in context: home, house, car, cook, up, pup, hop (thanks Dr Seuss!). Continuing favorite words are: hot, mama, uh-oh, and 'go go go go' - yes, four in a row. He has signed poop, sad, bath. His empathy is also expanding. He gets sad when others do, he was concerned for Elliott Cat because Schmell has a bad sore, and he's running around giving hugs. Adam has started playing a strictly vocal version of Marco Polo - Adam says Marco and Bennett responds 'pogo.' So cute.

ETA: I forget that he also says cocoa and coch (red in Welsh). And this morning he said poop!

I'm reading The Politics of Breastfeeding as my 'at home' book. It's full of fascinating information, nothing which surprises me all that much. It has cemented my already pretty firm belief that formula is nasty shit and that boobies are amazing. But there's something about the book that is off putting. It's her tone. I can't quite put my finger on it, but perhaps that's because I only have ten minute chunks of time to read. I think her book is not going to win any converts. If I was a mother who had problems breastfeeding and I wanted to try again, this is not the book I'd recommend. Basically, if you've ever used formula I think her tone and content could make you feel like shit.

What I'm walking away with, though, is how freaking amazing human bodies are. First, like I said, boobies are incredible. We make a perfect food, it's regulated in just the right make up and just the right amounts; it cannot be replicated. But even though formula is sketchy stuff, humans can thrive! Hell, we are what we eat - literally - and Americans eat high fructose corn syrup by the truck loads and some how don't keel over dead from it. I would never drink martinis and smoke while pregnant, but millions of mothers did in the middle 20th century and their babies turned out fine. We are incredible, hardy creatures.
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Me going to the library to study is like going to a bakery to diet. I'm bit like a dog with squirrels: "Ooh, there's one! Oh wait, there's one over there! Is there one up this tree? What about this one? Squirrel? SQUIRREL!!"

I suspect after a couple of Library Saturdays I will become bored and familiar with the library and this will pass. It is but a wee library after all.
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Books read so far in 2010:
Kahuna Magic, by Brad Steiger - enh

The Virgin Mary, Monotheism and Sacrifice, by Cleo McNelly Kearns - Tedious intro and conclusion, but some very interesting biblical insights and comparison of Mary and Abraham

The Girl Who Played with Fire, by Steig Larsson - Not as good as the first book, too many characters, but the Salander is so fascinating I will follow her anywhere

The Mystical Theology of the Eastern Church, by Vladimir Lossky - I felt dumber having read this book. The section on energies vs essence in the hypostases of the Trinity especially, but the last sections did have some inspiring bits

The Messages of the Lady of All Nations, Ida Peerdeman - Messages of 20th Century aparitions
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Two quotes that have got me thinking this morning.

From the Economist: Every time someone tells you to 'be realistic' they are asking you to compromise your ideals.

From Light on Life by BKS Iyengar: It is a modern illusion that positive emotions, sympathy, pity, kindness, and a general but diffused goodwill are the equivalent of virtues.

I'm not sure I completely agree with Iyengar about what virtues are, but the quote is a reminder to me that virtue is a verb, much like love. Thinking about love but not actually loving others isn't enough. Thinking nice thoughts for others is not the same as actually being helpful. Pity is not the same of compassion. Pity asks nothing of me, compassion asks that I involve my heart in another's life. I think I too often fall into the modern illusion.
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Bennett has hardly been eating food lately. All he wants to do is nurse. My nipples hurt and my body needs a Time Out.

He's had a cough for about a month now, maybe just over. It's intermittent throughout the day but without fail he has a 10-30 minute coughing/hacking/crying fit in the night. I took him to the doctor a few weeks ago and it was just a cold. I'm tired, folks.

Bennett has also discovered books in a big way. He was interested loosely before. He had a few favorites. However, he wants books ALL DAY LONG, and the same story over and over and over in a row. Good thing he is so stinkin' cute.

The washing machine decided to die halfway through a load of dirty diapers. .....and..... the machine started again and started gushing dirty diaper water all over the kitchen floor.
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Full Metal Alchemist. Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] bravenewcentury!

Pukka herbal teas. I want to try each and every one. We have 5 different kinds currently on hand.

The abundant bird life here. I'm not very good with my birds, but I know I've seen magpies, ravens, swans, hawks (maybe kestrels or kites?), mourning doves, and various other kinds of finches and blackbirds, and other birdies.

The cold clear weather, and the dark.
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*One of the reasons I love Adam so much is that he makes me a better person. Often I hate this about him, but sometimes he knows my intentions better than I do. Tonight we were discussing the Twilight phenomenon. On Sunday, two people in the church choir I sing with, both students, were discussing the books and movies, and tried to engage me in conversation. I told them I needed to avoid talking about it, because I was sure to offend them with my loathing. Off the cuff I come across like I think everyone who loves the books and movies are stupid. And I suppose there is something in that gut reaction. I don't put much faith in the mass market.

But do you want to know why I really hate Twilight? What really makes me so upset? It's that millions of American women are swooning over a semi-abusive relationship and want to be Bella, who has no agency. Millions of American women think that this is as good as it gets. Millions of American women are selling themselves short. And it kills me.

*Entirely unrelated, Adam, Bennett and I watched Julie and Julia tonight. I am completely sucked into the charm of Julia Child. I want to cook! Fancy French dishes! I want to try meringues! Boning a duck! I want to eat delicious food and drink excellent wine.

Adam and I are also contemplating working our way through Meryl Streep's oeuvre. Adam looked at me tonight and said "I'm totally gay for Meryl." I think I might be too.

*It is cold here. The heat is on and we're still chilly. It's been clear the last two days and nights. I hope it lasts for the next few days. The moon is nearly full and it's so beautiful. I can actually see stars here.

*Even though the doctor's have told me twice that my ears and throat look perfectly healthy, my left ear still hurts when I swallow. And it waxes and wanes through the day. I don't understand. I really hope it's not psychosomatic.
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Inspired by [livejournal.com profile] bravenewcentury

1. Avatar: the Last Airbender Seriously, this is my new favorite tv show. Possibly of all time. It's whimsical, it's deep, it's developing, it's spiritual. I care about the characters. Adam and I can watch it with Bennett - it's completely age appropriate for all. I''m only half way through season 2 (of 3) and it just keeps getting better and better.

2. Autumn I love the brown and yellow leaves on the ground. I love the chill and damp and grey. I love the lengthening nights. The air feels comfortable, cozy.

3. Lampeter It's seriously beautiful here, and peaceful. I love walking out my door and seeing the rooftops of the town at the bottom of the hill. I love seeing the white dots of sheep on the surrounding hills and the wood across the valley. I like the gentle hum of the high street and the rhythms of the town.

4. Tea I am drinking copious amounts of tea these days. Green, black, herbal, you name it. It goes hand in hand with numbers 2 and 3. I live in a tea culture but the warm soothing liquid is also so appropriate to the weather. And, the caffeine doesn't hurt when I'm constantly fighting a cold.

5. Adam has work This improves his mood and I know we have money coming in. Maybe more of a relief than anything else!

6. The new couches We got a blue couch and chair yesterday! All of a sudden our house is now a home. I can hang out in the living room comfortably! We had people over today and they didn't have to sit on the floor! I can't explain it but our house is transformed. I couldn't be more happy - I was getting tired of constantly sitting in the kitchen.

7. The sound of rain Right this second I can hear the rain coming down on the roof and the street outside. Just outside the window the drip drip drip off the gutter is trickling. The wind gusts through the trees. Between the dark and the rain I get flashbacks to Octobers past as a kid in Alaska. All I need is the woodstove...

8. Bennett Even when this kid drives me nuts because he hates having a diaper put on or he won't go to bed, he is the cutest, most snuggly and happy guy. We have so much fun together. Crawling into bed at night and feeling him warm and soft snuggling up to me is just about the best feeling. And, I think he's going to learn to use a toilet soon. Tonight he was running around naked for a while and he pointed at his penis and made a sound. I said "Are you going to pee?" "yeah," he said. I asked if he wanted to use the potty and he said "yeah" and ran to the bathroom. I sat him on the toilet and he proceeded to hang out there for a good 15 minutes. No action yet, but he did flush the toilet when he was done!

9. The Mists of Avalon I'm re-reading it and it's as good as I remember it being.

10. My life in general I am so blessed. My life is amazing and rich and I couldn't be happier. ...Ok, I could be. If my sister and her girls moved in down the street I would probably explode with joy. But that would be messy.
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We live under a rock. With our internet time so public and infrequent, we hardly check the news. Today I see (thanks to Facebook status updates, at least they're good for something!) that Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Really?! That seems absurd to me. And NASA is crashing shit on the moon. I used to be a news junkie, but it feels good getting a media break.


Things I love about Lampeter:
*Lace curtains - Most houses have two sets of curtains, one set of lace and one other heavier set. The lace are always drawn. They let light in and you can see out, but it's very hard to see in. The curtains make even a rundown place look just a little classier. Very nice.

*I live next to a cemetery. Have I said that? The biggest cemetery in town is my immediate neighbor. So cool. Our house also is beloved by spiders. This too is really neat. Inside, outside, all different kinds. None of them are very big (well, a few outside are fat) and none are poisonous. I love it. It seems a good omen, if for nothing else than for the environment, indicating a rich biosphere.

*Again, the grass fed meat and dairy are amazing.

*This place is so small that I can leave my house 5 minutes before I have to be somewhere and I can walk there and be on time.

*When I walk to my office I pass a large field that has two pony paddocks and four ponies. At the bottom of the hill, next to the paddocks, is a large childrens'/picnic park with a gorsedd (standing stone circle) that modern Welsh Druids built. It's really beautiful.

*Autumn has fully set in. I've been meaning to comment on it for two weeks, but in the last few days the temperature has dropped and the mornings have been frosty. It's so gorgeous here: greens, greys, golds.

*I love the culture of tea here. The Chinese students in the offices meet for tea every morning at 10.30. I love going over to people's houses and being offered tea. 'I'll go and put the kettle on.' So cozy and hospitable!

*The local public library is wonderful. One librarian in particular is a doll. I mentioned that there is a book coming out at the end of the month, the third in a young adult trilogy (Nancy Farmer's Sea of Trolls trilogy) and was the library going to carry it? No, but she said she'd order it for me.... and well, we can't have the third if the library doesn't have the first two, right?

*The grey streak in the front of my hair is growing daily. It's fabulous. Although I actually got carded at the store when I bought a bottle of wine last week. They card if they think you look under 25. !! That hasn't happened to me in a long time....

--------
Books I have read:
*Every single Sookie Stackhouse book and short story.
*The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - so good!
*The Little Stranger - Sarah Waters' latest. Ok.
*The Little Prince - how is this a classic? It's banal.

------
Also, I don't know what the Heavens want from us, but clearly it's to go bankrupt. Our internet is scheduled to click on next Friday. What arrived in the mail this morning? A notice from the power company that next Friday the area will need maintenance and power will be off all day. I just had to laugh out loud.
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Tina Beattie's God's Mother, Eve's Advocate is rocking my world.

Bank of America is taking us for everything we're worth and making understanding the problem so difficult to discern that I doubt I am smart enough to complete my advanced degree. How do they make stuff so complicated and so hard to find the answers?

Thanks to Chiv, I have found a cheap furniture place that will deliver to Lampeter. OH THANK YOU JESUS. I cannot live out of a suitcase for another week. I cannot. Three months is it!

I love having an office. I think we're getting internet at home next week.

Today at 3pm the family we like and know here is coming over for a play date. They have a 3 year old and a 17 month old. Both are great kids. I have realized that I pay attention to the kids to see if I'll like the parents. At least at this age, where so much of the kid is still formed by the parents. Bennett sooooo needs more playdates. We still have no answers to our child care quandry.

Lastly, tonight I am attempting to make nachos. I found Doritos with no flavor. I know, it's disgusting, but a world without Mexican food is not one I want to live in. Gotta make do with what's at hand!
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Has anyone read her stuff? Do you like it? Is it too YA? If you like her, which is a good book to start with?
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For my own record. Three Sookie Stackhouse short stories downloaded. Two Dr. Seuss books, The Butter Battle Book and The Seven Lady Godivas.

Currently working on Winter 1152 a Mouseguard "novel." It's so incredibly beautiful. It maybe time for a Mouseguard icon. And a vampire one, too.
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What have I been doing with my time in Santee? Reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris! I give a huge shout out to snowcalla for the recommendation! I even got my sister hooked on them. I have now read all that are available in paperback and I think I'm going to go out and by the most recent in hardback. Gotta finish before I move abroad!

Book review, may contain some spoilers )
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*I am feeling better about everything today. Sometimes all that's needed is a gigantic whine, really good food and wine, and sound sleep.

*Today is the Dormition/Assumption of the Virgin Mary.

*I am the new owner of a used 1G iphone. What apps are essential? Any recommendations?

*I continue to plow through the Sookie Stackhouse vamp/mystery novels. I have finished Dead to the World and Dead as a Doornail. They are easy and fun. I'm now on book #6.
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What an amazing place. What beauty, and bounty. I never eat so fresh as when I am in Alaska during the summer time.

Flying into Juneau was a different experience for me. I usually get a window seat and stare outside the entire flight. This time I was corralling a toddler (he flies really well, but he's still a squirmy toddler). As we entered familiar airspace and I saw the rivers, islands and fjords I'm acquainted with come into view I expected certain feelings to come up. But this time I felt more disconnected - or, I didn't feel that tug of loss I normally do. As we flew over Juneau proper I realized, for the first time ever, just how rural my home town is. It's TINY. It's..... out in the boonies. Which of course is a great big part of its charm. But still. Growing up I felt I was in the big city (comparatively).

I spent 10 days on Shelter Island with my parents, nieces, and sister. Bennett wasn't so sure about every one for the first few days, but he warmed right up eventually. He never really bonded with my mother, which I find interesting. I think she has issues with males, so I'm not surprised. It was wonderful to be able to let B play and play and play. Outside, inside, with his cousins, on the beach. He loved it. He loved the water, the rocks, everything. He ate enormous amounts of vegetables and fish. So did I. Fresh fish from the ocean and veggies from the garden. Amazing.

My time was spend walking around, frolicking with the kids, eating well and reading. In the first 6 days I read 4 books and an Economist. Every evening there was time spent hanging out on the deck watching the whales bubble feed or breech or just swim around.

Right before I left for town my dad and sister caught a 90 lb halibut.

Town was great too. Exhausting, brief, but great. The Future Gov of Alaska, who from here on out will be renamed MM, as per her request, came down from Anchorage for the weekend and we stayed at her parents' house. That was wonderful. Spending time with her with no agenda, watching our kids play together, was good for my soul. On Saturday night we cooked up a feast: halibut (from my dad) with herbs from MM's parents' garden, dungeoness crab from my dad's crab pot with cocktail sauce, steamed kale, sugar tomatoes, figs grilled with humboldt fog cheese and garlic chips, pinot gris. Seriously, this is the sort of meal I am used to eating with friends in Juneau.

I didn't get to see as many people as I would have liked. Carrying B around town was brutal. We didn't have a car and the town is all hills and mountain sides. After walking up 6 blocks of hills (maybe more?) and 400 stairs we made it back to the house and that killed us for any more wandering around.

Juneau is still beautiful and still filled with amazing, generous, passionate, creative people. The tourist part of the town sucks. Let me rephrase that. It SUCKS. It's getting worse. There are EVEN MORE jewelry stores than there were two years ago. How this is possible, I can't figure out. Literally, there are several blocks where it is nothing but jewelry stores. What idiots go to Alaska and buy fancy diamond jewelry at places called Caribbean Jewels? Oh, your parents, you say? I'm sure they are nice people, but fuck them. Fuck those cruise ships. Juneau is going to tourist hell in a cruise ship hand bag. If you go to on an Alaska cruise on one of those mega ships, please don't ever tell me.

****
Books read:
Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas, Club Dead - Charlaine Harris
Midnight Never Come - Marie Brennan

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