Rape is never the victims fault
Feb. 15th, 2010 02:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Women say some rape victims should take the blame
WHAT? I don't even need to read this entire article to know that women have internalized the hateful misogony of the patriarchy and suffer from self-loathing ideology. Why do women hate each other like this? Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. Even if you're comatose from drinking or you're walking naked down the street. Women make loads of stupid decisions all the time. And there are other consequences of the above actions: alcohol poisoning and the flu, perhaps. But rape? It is not a man's duty to 'punish' me for my stupid actions. Women and men may judge women who make stupid choices and think 'they got what they deserved', but that's not what it is about is it? No. It's about men thinking women are sex objects, that any woman who is passive enough is theirs for taking, that women are sub-human and do not have the dignity that men have. In cases of rape the blame is ALWAYS on the assailant. It is the perpetrator who cannot keep his hands (and other bits) to himself. It is HIS lack of self-control and his lack of honor for other living creatures.
I was date raped when I was 20. I take responsibility for my stupidness. I acknowledge that I was weak and had poor boundaries. I did not report it because it was so.... murky. I was up for fooling around. I was not up for sex. I said no. He didn't listen. We were in my bed. Am I to blame? If you say yes, defriend me right now.
WHAT? I don't even need to read this entire article to know that women have internalized the hateful misogony of the patriarchy and suffer from self-loathing ideology. Why do women hate each other like this? Rape is NEVER the victim's fault. Even if you're comatose from drinking or you're walking naked down the street. Women make loads of stupid decisions all the time. And there are other consequences of the above actions: alcohol poisoning and the flu, perhaps. But rape? It is not a man's duty to 'punish' me for my stupid actions. Women and men may judge women who make stupid choices and think 'they got what they deserved', but that's not what it is about is it? No. It's about men thinking women are sex objects, that any woman who is passive enough is theirs for taking, that women are sub-human and do not have the dignity that men have. In cases of rape the blame is ALWAYS on the assailant. It is the perpetrator who cannot keep his hands (and other bits) to himself. It is HIS lack of self-control and his lack of honor for other living creatures.
I was date raped when I was 20. I take responsibility for my stupidness. I acknowledge that I was weak and had poor boundaries. I did not report it because it was so.... murky. I was up for fooling around. I was not up for sex. I said no. He didn't listen. We were in my bed. Am I to blame? If you say yes, defriend me right now.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 04:38 pm (UTC)Our various cultures are dictated by patriarchal values which render men wholly responsible for rape, not women. Unless & until we change the patriarchal mindset, women are going to be raped. Fact.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 05:05 pm (UTC)Yes, rape is a crime, a rapist is a criminal and should be persecuted accordingly. The fact that the mind of the rapist was structured ( and in my understanding infected) by patriarchal values because he or she lives in a patriarchal culture, does NOT take the responsibility for his or her action from him/her. And it's NOT and NEVER the responsibility of the victim as a single being. Just to make that clear.
What I was hinting at is that a culture doesn't become patriarchal in and off itself. It is not something that is done to it, it is something that is brought forth and maintained by it (willingly or subconsciously). Therefore the values and ideas present in our culture are maintained and passed on by each and every person in that culture no matter what sex or gender they have. Therefore the responsibility for a rape is not completely one of the rapist hirself, but of the whole culture s/he is part of. And this culture is not something abstract or transzendent, it consists of each and every one of us. Therefore the resposibility to change the value systems and patterns of our culture is held by each and everyone of us as well. Do you get my point?
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Gwydion
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 05:14 pm (UTC)I think you're trying to be too vague and actually nice about things. People are responsible for their own actions (hm, how many times can I say that?). Society does shape us, but we can't hold hands in a circle and wish that all the badness would stop. We do our parts, by getting our shit together, by healing our own wounds, by treating others as we would be treated, by acting our justice in the world, by taking responsibility. Not every one is going to do these things, but they don't get to go around and fuck shit up for the rest of us.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 05:43 pm (UTC)I don't want to make someone into "the Enemy", because there I see one of the roots of facism/sexism/racism etc.. Criminals are criminals, but they are not as far from you and me as we might like to think of them.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 05:46 pm (UTC)No, the rapist is WHOLLY responsible. There can be no half measures.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 06:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 03:48 pm (UTC)bb*
Gwydion
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 04:18 pm (UTC)Mostly, I feel like we were moving away from the basic topic of the original post, which was: women blaming other women for getting raped.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 04:35 pm (UTC)I have a passion for jumping from a single situation to assumptions and discussions about the bigger pictures I see them interwoven with. If you feel that's inappropriate in a given context, just tell me so.
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Gwydion
no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 05:41 pm (UTC)And for some of us ~ children for instance ~ we have no power whatsoever to change anything. Trafficked women have no choice & no power. In any culture that seriously oppresses women there is little choice & no chance at all of changing anything.