A Fresh Start

Thinking about books lately. Which to ship? Which can be gotten rid of? Adam and I have decimated our collection. Today we took three boxes to the used book store. This is the second trip there this year.

I saw this meme on bravenewcentury's LJ today.

The book that’s been on your shelves the longest.
That has to be May Gibb's The Complete Adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie. My aunt in Australia gave it to me for Christmas in 1975. But I also have some of my mother's childhood book. The oldest book I have is a 1920s edition of Jack London's Essays of Revolt.

A book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)
Pierre Berton's Klondike Fever reminds me of hiking the Chilkoot Trail (1999).

A book you acquired in some interesting way
Oh I don't know.

The book that’s been with you to the most places.
Probably the Bible. But I have carried Pearl S Buck's Dragonseed and Hesse's Siddhartha around for a long time.

The most recent addition to your shelves.
Four or five books by Mark Miravalle for my paper. Also, a brand new book on Mary, Mother of God (can't see the author or complete title from where I'm sitting).

Your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next.
Currently I'm reading The Magic Pudding to Bennett. I'm on Vol. 5 of Alan Moore's Promethea series. I'm also re-reading Mary: New Century Theology by Sarah Jane Boss for "school." I recently finished Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (so good!). Next up, I've got to read those Miravalle books. For Bennett, I think I'll read Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

*Our internet died for two days. During that time Michael Jackson also died. Coincidence?

*I heard LJ crashed from all the OMG MICHAEL JACKSON DIED posts. Glad I was out of the loop.

*Less than 6 hours of sleep last night. Going down to San Jose and Mountainview was totally worth it.

*I'm reading Watchmen. It's ok. I can see how it was a mind blower at the time. Sorry, hrafntinna. Still working my way through Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. It's what I read aloud to Bennett, so we only get a chapter or two a day. Next up on my reading list: the Promethea graphic novels for me and for reading aloud purposes, The Magic Pudding.

*We leave town in three weeks. I STILL have NOT received my visa paperwork from the University. I... I just... It's a really good thing that I am many thousands of miles away because I need to lay down the admin law over there. AAAHHHH! I NEED TO APPLY FOR MY FUCKING VISA.

*I am beginning to be more than a little preoccupied, stressed and distracted with all that needs to be done in the next 3 weeks/2 months. I find that my attention span is not very big, my capacity for others is limited. I'm not a very good friend these days, I fear.

Feeding the Whole Family: Recipes for Babies, Young Children and Their Parents by Cynthia Lair. Lair is a nutritionist who teaches at Bastyr in Seattle. This book is all about whole foods and has some great recipes. I'm enjoying what she has to say about babies and introducing solids. Most recipes also have suggestions for babies. For lunch today I am making lemon and garlic quinoa salad - leaving off the dressing for B. Yum!

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clark. So good! I'm only a third of the way through. I use it as my nap and bedtime story book for Bennett. I am a huge fan of the 19th century and 19th century-esque novel. This falls into the latter category. I also read it as a cautionary tale on hoarding books and knowledge. Mr Norrell is a book hoarder - he wants all the knowledge for himself! Oh I am sure it will have disastrous results in the end!

My sister has in essence challenged me to read the book if I am going to be so outspoken against Twilight. She claims that the movie is worse than the book, and the book isn't as heinous as the movie in all the ways I loathe it.

Do I do it? Is it worth my time? It's some pretty awful writing. Will my brain melt? Those of you who have read the book and seen the movie, are they sufficiently different that my analysis might be tempered or in any way altered if I read the book?

I'm really tired tonight. It's been a week of energy and productivity. Bennett's energy has been full to bursting. He's crawling around, pulling himself up and doing this "neat" trick of not really napping, passing out at his normal bedtime from exhaustion for about 45 minutes, then waking up to PLAY! WALK! CRAWL! JUMP! WHEE! Tonight Adam's on it. I sat around watching the beginning of Serenity whilst eating pita chips and hummus. And promptly felt guilty and cut off from my family.

On my Lenten vegan fast I'm discovering that this time around I don't miss cheese at all, but I do miss milk. I crave warm milky beverages.


It's nearly 10 so I think I'll put myself to sleep with Bennett. The one nice thing about putting B to bed multiple times a night is that I'm getting a lot of reading done, since I read him novels that I want to read. We're working through Nancy Farmer's The Land of Silver Apples right now.

More link spam, but I LOVED this article on Twilight in the most recent issue of Bitch.

(one handed typing here)

Go Fug Yourself summed it up like this:
So, after careful consideration of approximately three minutes, I've decided Twilight would work a lot better for me on ice. Think about it: Pairs figure skating, much like the book itself, is all about melodrama, separation and reunion, and invading each others' personal space in a sexually unsatisfying way. All of Edward's condescending yearning and stalking would be way more fun if he were doing it while flitting about the rink in puffy shirts and tight trousers, tossing off triple Axels of romantic angst and throwing Bella into the air before catching her with one hand (subtext: "You must not love me BUT I LOVE YOU but stay away BUT NOT TOO FAR AWAY let me stare at you NO I MUSTN'T but I will LET ME TOE-LOOP MY FEELINGS don't look at me EXCEPT DO I am dangerous TIME TO SPARKLE"). Meanwhile, boring Bella, who in the text generally just repeats herself ad nauseum about how Edward's face/chest/voice/muscles/eyes/lips/piano talent/strength/secret macrame projects are more beautiful and perfect than anything in the human realm, could spend the rest of the time enacting a metaphor for her inner monologue by spinning over and over again until Edward rescues her from herself. Throw in some multicolored spotlights and the whole thing is practically begging for an Olympic ice-skating duo to reinterpret it at the Vancouver 2010 games.


It all makes perfect sense now.

10 books I don't think anyone on my friends list has.

This is tough because I have such a literate and diverse group on my friend's list. I'm trying to represent the different sections of my "library" but this is hard.

1. The Adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie by May Gibbs. Great Australian children's book given to me when I was born, with fun pictures.

2. Essays of Revolt by Jack London. The particular copy I have is from my father, a 1926 edition.

3. Against Culture: Development, Politics and Religion in Indian Alaska by Kirk Dombrowski. I have not read this one yet.

4. The Old Testament Pseudepigraphia Vol. 1. Multiple Books of Enoch anyone?

5.Mythistory by Joseph Mali. Historical methodology.

6. The Idea of Wilderness by Max Oelshlaeger. Exactly what the title suggests. I really liked this.

7. Empress and Handmaid: Nature and Gender in the Cult of the Virgin Mary by Sarah Boss, who is my advisor.

8. The Serpent and the Goddess: Women, Religion and Power in Celtic Ireland by Mary Condren. Haven't read the whole thing yet.

9. Encountering the Mystery; Understanding Orthodox Christianity Today by His All Holiness Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew. Not as good as I was expecting. Very dry. Not recommended unless you're hard core - and if you are, you probably know most of this stuff already.

10. And for a novel.... Gould's Book of Fish by Richard Flannagan. I recommend getting your hands on the hard copy - the ink changes color to reflect what's happening in the story and the pictures are water color plates. And it's a really good book.

How many of you remember Sassy magazine? Me, I remember the columnists by first name. Turns out that this is common among fans of the magazine. I had a subscription to the magazine in its heyday. I LOVED it. But then, I will admit that I was not all that discerning! I had a subscription to Seventeen for about 3 years. I still remember the Art Carved and Jostens ads, the hope chest ads... basically, even in 1987 it was a throw back to the 50s and 60s. The magazine seemed to say that the greatest thing in life was to marry your high school sweetheart. I had a subscription to Young Miss before it became YM. And to Rolling Stone. Like now, I was eclectic in my tastes.

What's weird is that I still remember covers and issues. I remember when Whitney Houston modeled for Seventeen (1986 maybe?), when Milla Jojovich had just moved to the US to model and still had that mole on her forehead. I remember the Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love cover of Sassy, I remember specific ads and fashion spreads.

But Sassy held a special place in my heart. I didn't relate to much of the music and style. I was never into the Riot Grrrl stuff. Yelling and bad musicianship isn't my thing, no matter how much I like the politics. I never have been all that alternative in my dress and I don't have any tattoos or piercings. But I loved the magazine for its tone, its smart content and for exposing me to style and ideas that weren't just like mine. The writers didn't talk down to teens. I think these reasons for loving Sassy are quite common.

The book, How Sassy Changed My Life: a love letter to the greatest teen magazine of all time, which I finished this morning, talks all about the history of the mag, why it died and what its influence has been. I am grateful for finally getting the story on why it died. But for the most part, there is very little in this book that will come as news to Sassy readers. It's also pretty mediocre in writing and analysis. The book makes a good point about how alienating Sassy could be to those who weren't boy crazy and mainstream in ideas, but weren't outsiders, angry or punk rock. I sometimes feel this way reading Bust. I don't dance burlesque, make my own handbags or listen Bright Eyes, but I read the magazine because it's fun, smart and creative. There is such a dearth of media out there for independent, creative women that I feel like I need to subscribe just to show solidarity. Which makes me wonder why I've never subscribed to Venus.

I only recommend this book to diehard fans.

(If any one has or finds copies of Sassy pretty please send them my way!! I rue the day I ever tossed them out.)

I'm currently reading Pushed: The Painful Truth About Chilbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block. I'm only a few chapters in, but it is already confirming both my limited experiences in the pregnant world and the reading I've been doing. Before getting pregnant I was already wary of the medical world and leaning more toward the side of natural childbirth. Now 6 months into this pregnancy I am more than ever convinced that natural - and by that I mean as little medical intervention as possible, even outside of a hospital - birth is the best way to go. Each medical intervention isn't a bad thing on its own. I'm glad we have many tools to help women birth healthy babies. However, it's the attitude of the hospitals and the messages sent to women that bother me the most.

Women are increasingly "choosing" (there is some debate over this word - are they actually choosing? being strongly suggested to choose it by their doctor? choosing it when all of the other interventions aren't "progressing"?) elective cesareans. Some are choosing it because they fear the damages caused by vaginal birth. Birth is treated as this problem waiting to happen, rather than a bodily function that we are evolutionary designed for. Of course birth is hard and scary, but when left to progress in its own time, births do not have to cause damage to the vagina and other parts of the female body.

And that's the problem. Left to progress in its own time, monitored by patient and knowledgeable staff. There is no patience in the hospital. OB/GYNs have to get a lot of stuff done before their shift is over and make enough money to cover their incredibly high malpractice insurance costs. Hospitals don't have the time or the staff to let a woman labor for 24 hrs - or more. And one intervention inevitably leads to another. Once women are hooked up to IVs, monitors, catheters, etc she has to labor on her back - which is the WORST position for a laboring woman. This position is for the convenience of the doctor, not the mother. No woman left to her own devices labors this way.

The more I learn about the history of childbirth the more I see how it's developed out a deep misogyny and disrespect for the female form. Modern obstetrics does not come from the centuries old practice of midwifery, but from the developing field of medicine in the 19th century. In the Victorian era middle and upper class women wore corsets, were encouraged to be inactive and undernourished (being small and helpless was a woman's natural form), basically causing all kinds of problems for pregnancy and delivery. Women needed to deliver on their backs, as it was unladylike for a woman to be on all fours, ass naked, in front of a man/doctor. The bodily restrictions of the Victorian age led to the development of ways to speed along awkward deliveries - induction. The mentality that womens' bodies were ill adapted to vaginal birth underpins our modern medicalization of the birth process.

I read a quote in Pushed explaining why one sex therapist had elected a cesarean. "Why ruin a perfectly good vagina?" she said. This to me reveals the deep anti-woman mindset of our birth culture that women are absorbing. What does this woman mean by "ruin"? I'm guessing she fears tearing (so do I, but when birth progresses at it's own speed this is less likely to happen), incontinence (occurs after 2% of births, most female incontinence is old-age related), and the ol' saggy vagina. Complications to the vaginal area occur in c-sections too, but these get less press. This woman probably doesn't want to "ruin" her vagina FOR HER MAN. I may be putting words in her mouth, but this attitude that vaginas just won't be as good after vaginal birth is nonsense and is driven by patriarchal ideals of women - all vaginas should feel like 15 yr old virgin vaginas, all 40 year old women should be as tight and firm and fit as 25 year olds. Puh-leeze.

I also think this anti-woman attitude toward birth is fear of the female form. Pregnancy and birth are the two things the male body cannot do. While I do feel quite vulnerable in a new and profound way being pregnant (I find that I do not jaywalk anymore, that I cover my belly in unfamiliar busy places, that I move more slowly, etc), I am also amazed at the capacity my body has to carry this life, to grow it and sustain it and me. I may be moving more slowly, be not quite as sharp mentally, but I am in no way compromised. The female form is powerful. We'll see how I feel once I've birthed this little guy, but knowing that I will be medically and emotionally supported makes me EXCITED to see what this body can do. Women's bodies are completely capable of delivering babies into this world. I think men and the patriarchal medical establishment fear this. Births are messy and all parties are out of control. To help get doctors home to dinner and to control the unknown factors, and perhaps even to keep women in their place, birth has been put on a time table and contained by tubes and meters and drugs. Women expect this to be part of birth. Without realizing it they are being told that they can't handle it; they are told that they should be scared.

The more I read the more I am deeply relieved that I will not be birthing in a hospital. My baby is not an "outcome," another statistic for hospitals and doctors to put into one column or another. I don't want my physical integrity compromised for the efficiency of the hospital staff. I am not a problem waiting to happen. And I don't desire my care to be mandated by statistics and litigious ass-covering. I don't want my care based on a fear of their being sued. I want my care based on my actual health. I'm scared enough as it is about the whole birthing process and I don't need doctors I don't know to tell me what my body "should" be doing, to infer that my body and my baby don't know what to do.